If you enjoy attending conferences, you may be interested in knowing that the
I have been reading some blogs over the past few days and wonder if anyone is interested in my experience with TM? I have communicated with ++++ a number of times. It comes in waves, at the moment I have been following the Pandit riot. Anyway to cut a long story short I am a 70 year old grandma in Australia whose marriage and life was messed up for a very long time due to the fact my (ex) husband's obsession with TM.Has anyone looked into the effect on families, i.e. those partners who are not TMers and what they are put througyh and what numbers divorce? I would very much like to be in touch with other such persons here in Australia. I am sure there must be a number just like me.MM visited Australia on 7 Dec 1967. Husband was asked to organise accommodation, media etc. We picked MM up from the airport in our little car. MM wrapped his sari around him pushed me aside and squeezed into the front seat leaving me carrying a 16 month old and heavily pregnant to attempt to get into the back seat. It started right there. I was pushed aside over and over for 20 years until finally I said enough. I am still getting over the constant TM bashing (like a non smoker who inhales cigarette smoke I was contaminated).Briefly my ex husband (of over 20 years) did the teacher training course in Fiuggi in 1972. We had been living in Italy for 2 years and I was sent home along with my +++ children ++++. He stayed for 3 months. This was upsetting for the children and put even a bigger burden on me. Starting children in school alone, opening the house after a rental of 2 years, getting used to Australian way of life etc. He had been meditating since the early 1960s but it did not seem a big problem back then.
When my husband returned from Fiuggi in 1972 he announced almost immediately he returned that sex would have to fit in with his duties as a TM teacher, i.e. none before or during...what a shock for a young 27 year old to be told essentially that our sexual relationship would make him "impure". That I would have to "book" him ahead of time. He didn't say that in so many words but for all those years that is what I carried inside me. Our married sex life was over really.
Anyway "Down the Rabbit Hole" has left a big impression on me. I do so identify with what and who my husband became in those years after Fiuggi. I think you call it "disassociation"? wonderful word and describes him exactly.
He did his teacher training in TM in 1972 in Fiuggi as I said and we had just completed a 2 year stint in Genova where he did post doctoral work at the University. I observed a changed person when he came home 3 months later. He was glassy eyed for weeks and talked of little else than the film the TMers had seen at the end of the course...The Beatles Yellow Submarine!! I was so exasperated. I had spent 3 months learning to live back in Australia with 2 little boys beginning school. The "disappearance" of their father for such a long time had a long term effect on our eldest son who was very stressed at beginning school without his Dad around.
TM replaced a father who should have been around for his children. He never had time to take his sons to sports etc and was minimally involved in their lives. As for me I spent school holidays alone with the children as +++ chose those times (Uni holidays) to go on his extra TM courses.
But those 25 years were a big part of my life and should have been healthy happy ones. I am also very angry with myself for tolerating so much for so long. Why didn't I leave so much earlier and had the chance of beginning a new life without him or TM? But gradually I began to believe there was something wrong with me because I didn't embrace TM. I put 150% into our marriage because I thought if I worked harder he would care more for me. The more I did the less he did, so the last few years he sent all his spare time meditating and running marathons. My mother in law asked me why I worked so hard!
Fortunately I prevented ++++ taking the +++ children++ out of the highly prestigeous school they had managed to gain entry for. He wanted to put them in a newly opened TM school (as I suspected the school lasted all of 6 months). Thankfully I won that one.
Recently +++ has spoken to the family about having a unit with the door "facing the right way". My son thought he meant Feng Shuey (dont know how to spell it)...but I realise now that it is another directive from the movement. It's just never ending. In short TM I have believed for a very long time is an addiction for some people, or rather for people "in the hierarchy of the movement". +++ was/is very influential in the movement in Australia. I know now that a lot of our money was syphoned off to the movement which is why I never had access to our bank accounts etc.
Mostly I dont think about TM these days (unless at one of the grandchildrens' parties and their grandfather is there, then I get all shaky which seems ridiculous). When I begin to read some of the stories online which I do every now and then it takes me days to get over reading about things I was so close to. I really dont understand it as I have been alone for 25 years now. A counsellor told me, much to my horror, that I was emotionally abused. No he never laid a hand on me but I know that it was abuse. Being made to feel a 2nd rate human being on the "enlightened scale" , being called crazy, are not the acts of a so called "enlightened" person are they? Problem is my children and friends think of him as a quiet gentle person. They also think I should "get over it". I had noone to speak with about this in those 20 years as we lived interstate. Had we been near parents and friends he wouldn't have got away with his actions and behaviour. Because I was the one to initiate a divorce I was treated very badly by his parents for some time. Ironically toward the end of mother in law's life she confided in me that they both "live on another planet"!!! Whoa why didn't she speak up sooner?
Anyway I do feel for you having been in a real family tradition of TM. I truly don't know how you cope. Joe was great..I know some TMers have referred online to his "mental condition". That seems a standard comment about ex TMers who speak out and must originate somewhere in the movement? I also came across an item referring to MM saying bad things would happen to those TMers who did not conform to his wishes, or some such thing. In Weggis one of the little TM children I spoke of referred to an Australian couple whose little girl was born deaf...he, all of 8 years, said Maharishi told those people not to marry and that is why they had a deaf baby....scary?
I am amazed and truly horrified at the recent riot in Fairfield and the details surrounding it. Haven't the authorities done anything about these people? My ex husband spent 10 years on the Fairfield University Campus after we divorced (with wife #2 also a teacher). He was a Prof of Mathematics and no dill, or I didn't think so for a long time.We also spent 6 months in Lucerne Switzerland where husband was wired for the brain wave stuff. I saw a lot of neglected children in Weggis (children of very well known TMers and was horrified at the lack of time education and care taken of these children (who latched onto me as a sort of 2nd mother as I wasn't involved in the TM side of things).I would love to hear of anyone in a similar position to me. You see even now writing this I feel a sense of guilt and fear. Discussing TM brings on a trembling and agitation I can't explain. I have seen and heard what the movement is capable of over a period of 50 years.Sincerely
Grandmother in Australia
I recently read the book "The Psychology of The Sopranos: Love, Death, Desire, and Betrayal in America's Favorite Gangster Family" by Glen O. Gabbard, M.D. © 2002. I found these paragraphs:
"Surviving and Moving On After a High-Demand Group Experience: A Workshop for Second-Generation Former Members
When: Friday 4:00 pm April 4, 2014 to Sunday 2:00 pm April 6, 2014
Where: Guest House Retreat & Conference Center, 318 West Main Street, Chester, CT 06412. Guest House is a delightful retreat and conference center in the scenic Connecticut River Valley. It offers spacious guest rooms with private bathrooms, superb cuisine, and amenities that range from a grand piano in the lobby to wireless Internet in every room.
More Information: http://www.icsahome.com/events/workshopsgas
As increasing numbers of people born or raised in cultic movements have reached adulthood, the International Cultic Studies Association has developed a program that addresses their special needs.
Second-Generation Adults (SGAs) do not have a “precult identity” to which they can return. Raised in fringe subcultures, they frequently have educational and other skill deficits that interfere with adjustment to mainstream culture. Having grown up in high-demand, high-control groups, SGAs struggle with issues of dependency, self-esteem, and social conflict. They often have to deal with the trauma of physical and/or sexual abuse. SGAs have difficulty getting help because they tend to lack finances and be wary of other people, including helpers.
Meeting annually since 2006, this workshop addresses the needs of SGAs through presentations by specialists and former members, including discussions in which attendees may participate according to their comfort levels. Special attention is paid to the need of SGAs for privacy, reflection, and working at their own pace.
This workshop has been made possible by special donations and the willingness of facilitators to volunteer their time. Without the dedication of these people, registration fees would be much higher than they are. Donations cover a substantial portion of the total cost.
We cannot accept onsite registrations, and we cannot guarantee acceptance of registrations received within 14 days of the workshop start date."