Second Hand Cult Abuse - Fifty Years

A TMFree Reader sent the following story in a small series of emails.
She gave permission to post the story minus names.
This resembles stories of many who lost loved ones to TM, or have TM family members.

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I have been reading some blogs over the past few days and wonder if anyone is interested in my experience with TM?  I have communicated with ++++ a number of times. It comes in waves, at the moment I have been following the Pandit riot.  Anyway to cut a long story short I am a 70 year old grandma in Australia whose marriage and life was messed up for a very long time due to the fact my (ex) husband's obsession with TM.

Has anyone looked into the effect on families, i.e. those partners who are not TMers and what they are put througyh and what numbers divorce?  I would very much like to be in touch with other such persons here in Australia. I am sure there must be a number just like me.

MM visited Australia on 7 Dec 1967. Husband was asked to organise accommodation, media etc. We picked MM up from the airport in our little car. MM wrapped his sari around him pushed me aside and squeezed into the front seat leaving me carrying a 16 month old and heavily pregnant to attempt to get into the back seat.  It started right there. I was pushed aside over and over for 20 years until finally I said enough. I am still getting over the constant TM bashing (like a non smoker who inhales cigarette smoke I was contaminated).

Briefly my ex husband (of over 20 years) did the teacher training course in Fiuggi in 1972. We had been living in Italy for 2 years and I was sent home along with my +++ children ++++. He stayed for 3 months. This was upsetting for the children and put even a bigger burden on me. Starting children in school alone, opening the house after a rental of 2 years, getting used to Australian way of life etc.  He had been meditating since the early 1960s but it did not seem a big problem back then.   

When my husband returned from Fiuggi in 1972 he announced almost immediately he returned that sex would have to fit in with his duties as a TM teacher, i.e. none before or during...what a shock for a young 27 year old to be told essentially that our sexual relationship would make him "impure". That I would have to "book" him ahead of time. He didn't say that in so many words but for all those years that is what I carried inside me. Our married sex life was over really. 

Anyway "Down the Rabbit Hole" has left a big impression on me. I do so identify with what and who my husband became in those years after Fiuggi.  I think you call it "disassociation"? wonderful word and describes him exactly.     

He did his teacher training in TM in 1972 in Fiuggi as I said and we had just completed a 2 year stint in Genova where he did post doctoral work at the University.  I observed a changed person when he came home 3 months later. He was glassy eyed for weeks and talked of little else than the film the TMers had seen at the end of the course...The Beatles Yellow Submarine!!  I was so exasperated. I had spent 3 months learning to live back in Australia with 2 little boys beginning school. The "disappearance" of their father for such a long time had a long term effect on our eldest son who was very stressed at beginning school without his Dad around.

TM replaced a father who should have been around for his children. He never had time to take his sons to sports etc and was minimally involved in their lives. As for me I spent school holidays alone with the children as +++ chose those times (Uni holidays) to go on his extra TM courses.    

But those 25 years were a big part of my life and should have been healthy happy ones. I am also very angry with myself for tolerating so much for so long. Why didn't I leave so much earlier and had the chance of beginning a new life without him or TM?   But gradually I began to believe there was something wrong with me because I didn't embrace TM. I put 150% into our marriage because I thought if I worked harder he would care more for me. The more I did the less he did, so the last few years he sent all his spare time meditating and running marathons. My mother in law asked me why I worked so hard!

Fortunately I prevented ++++ taking the +++ children++  out of the highly prestigeous school they had managed to gain entry for. He wanted to put them in a newly opened TM school (as I suspected the school lasted all of 6 months). Thankfully I won that one. 

Recently +++ has spoken to the family about having a unit with the door "facing the right way". My son thought he meant Feng Shuey (dont know how to spell it)...but I realise now that it is another directive from the movement. It's just never ending.  In short TM I have believed for a very long time is an addiction for some people, or rather for people "in the hierarchy of the movement".  +++  was/is very influential in the movement in Australia. I know now that a lot of our money was syphoned off to the movement which is why I never had access to our bank accounts etc.    

Mostly I dont think about TM these days (unless at one of the grandchildrens' parties and their grandfather is there, then I get all shaky which seems ridiculous). When I begin to read some of the stories online which I do every now and then it takes me days to get over reading about things I was so close to. I really dont understand it as I have been alone for 25 years now. A counsellor told me, much to my horror, that I was emotionally abused. No he never laid a hand on me but I know that it was abuse. Being made to feel a 2nd rate human being on the "enlightened scale" , being called crazy, are not the acts of a so called "enlightened" person are they? Problem is my children and friends think of him as a quiet gentle person. They also think I should "get over it". I had noone to speak with about this in those 20 years as we lived interstate. Had we been near parents and friends he wouldn't have got away with his actions and behaviour. Because I was the one to initiate a divorce I was treated very badly by his parents for some time. Ironically toward the end of mother in law's life she confided in me that they both "live on another planet"!!! Whoa why didn't she speak up sooner? 

Anyway I do feel for you having been in a real family tradition of TM. I truly don't know how you cope.  Joe was great..I know some TMers have referred online to his "mental condition". That seems a standard comment about ex TMers who speak out and must originate somewhere in the movement?  I also came across an item referring to MM saying bad things would happen to those TMers who did not conform to his wishes, or some such thing.  In Weggis one of the little TM children I spoke of referred to an Australian couple whose little girl was born deaf...he, all of 8 years, said Maharishi told those people not to marry and that is why they had a deaf baby....scary?

I am amazed and truly horrified at the recent riot in Fairfield and the details surrounding it. Haven't the authorities done anything about these people?  My ex husband spent 10 years on the Fairfield University Campus after we divorced (with wife #2 also a teacher). He was a Prof of Mathematics and no dill, or I didn't think so for a long time.

We also spent 6 months in Lucerne Switzerland where husband was wired for the brain wave stuff. I saw a lot of neglected children in Weggis (children of very well known TMers and was horrified at the lack of time education and care taken of these children (who latched onto me as a sort of 2nd mother as I wasn't involved in the TM side of things).

I would love to hear of anyone in a similar position to me.  You see even now writing this I feel a sense of guilt and fear.  Discussing TM brings on a trembling and agitation I can't explain.  I have seen and heard what the movement is capable of over a period of 50 years.

Sincerely

  

Grandmother in Australia

Prison of Indoctrination - TMO

The author of this unsolicited contribution requests to remain publicly anonymous for now. 
This person was raised in the Transcendental Meditation Movement.

Being born into a TM Cult family has lasting impacts on relationships both physical and emotional, personal and working.

The broad strokes can be traced back to a few things, most noticeable in my eyes are: Jyotish, the blabberish of your entire life being predetermined and predictable, and the built in assumption that you must be with another cult member (read true believer), or convert the one you have into a true believer. 

This has had a devastating effect on my relationships with non-TM friends, with girl friends, and significant others. How? 

Growing up as a second generation TM kid, you were constantly told what a special gift to be born into a family of yogi's, truly amazing, and that you, and others born into TMO families would bring about heaven on earth. 

The constant reinforcement through TM schools engrained in the pschye that no happiness would be possible, and no-one would truly know you unless they also were helping "heaven on earth" eventuate by joining the TMO. This ingrained brainwashing led to the brink of sex addiction - seeking a connection, but never allowing any emotional openness because "it would never lead to anything, they aren't TMO". 

Looking back, the callous way this destroyed any playful emotional connections, and removed any possible seeds of a relationship with meaning to flourish is the saddest thing to me. A 3 year relationship finally ended on the back of mental turmoil - I couldn't see her embracing the TMO, and closed myself off, ending it suddenly and refusing any chance of reconciliation. This relationship lasted this long almost in spite of myself - I was experiencing significant dissonance and attempted to live a "normal life", not meditating, making friends not within the TMO, and making a go of it. 

In spite of all this, I was conflicted throughout, wrestling with truly giving in and having a relationship about us, and not her or my beliefs. I failed, it failed, and I reverted back to several years of emotionally restricted physical encounters, despairing of finding someone "on my level" and fully TMO. 

Regular lectures from my TMO invested father throughout this period on how important it was to have a wife of the same background and values (read TMO faithful) were endured during this time, including strong positive reinforcement when I ended the 3 year relationship, saying it was the right decision, and discouraging me from second-guessing myself. 

Jyotish was the counter-punch one-two blow that landed regularly in conduction with the conditioning. Being told throughout childhood and adulthood that my life would be hard, difficult, and unhappiness would reign if my main focus wasn't on the spiritual side of life (read TMO only, no other), due to my particular chart combination, built in another reason to shut down any connection that wasn't interested in TM.

It took a lot to break that, to the point that the delightful person I'm married to was pre-emptively dumped after a month of dating because I couldn't see her becoming part of the TMO. Thankfully she didn't take no for an answer and persevered with me, held on even through being coerced into learning TM (she felt nothing, had no positive effects, and it bored her), and almost pushed into becoming a teacher of ™. 

The dissonance I experienced between the conditioning of being born into the TM Cult and cold, hard, beautiful reality finally broke through the veil and started the exiting process that is filling me with more self awareness than any of Mahesh's sleepfest mumbles ever did. 

Maharishi Mahesh Demeans Children

An adult who was raised under Maharishi's supposedly enlightened umbrella shared the following excerpt from one of the founding books about Maharishi and Transcendental Meditation. Do read the comments from other TM-kids which followed this facebook posting.

Kind of long story but interesting for all of us TM'ers, the children seem to be the only ones that can recognize the emperor with no clothes. Excerpted from "Maharishi at '433' By Helena Olson", the 1979 republication of Helena Olson's 1967 "A Hermit In the House", about her family's houseguest experience with our dhoti-clad guru when he came to the United States :

Theresa had not yet seen Maharishi, and as he alighted from the car she started to run toward him. His eyes met hers and both smiled as he commenced a slow, regal walk to our steps. Roland joined us to greet him. Theresa and I presented him the white geraniums.

"Nice," he said.

"Come in," said Roland who escorted him to the sheet draped armchair. He sat in it in the cross legged position. Tina came in to meet him, and, as I expected, talked to him casually and easily as we all wished to do. I enjoyed just looking at him. We offered punch. He declined and asked for water. Tina and Theresa served him. Then we invited him to see the house. The Siamese cats, Su-Ling and Mei-Ling, came with him from the living room into the small library. Turning into the study, he lingered a moment, then proceeded down the hall to view the dining room, saying nothing. He nodded quite often to the little retinue following. We were hoping he liked it. When we came to the stairs, Roland asked Maharishi if he would like to see the room we had prepared for him. He nodded, and we went upstairs. The two cats raced ahead. The front bedroom was large and airy with windows on two sides. Naturally, it was a little on the dainty side, as it had been decorated for our two oldest daughters while they were home. He stood only at the door. As we went down the small hall to point out the bath, he stood silently. Then he said, "What is there?" motioning to a separate wing of the house. "Oh, Maharishi," I laughed, "that is Tina's room." I nodded toward her, and was a little surprised to see a slight frown on her face. "Even we rarely go in there," I started to say. "I see it?" came the reply. I felt trapped. Every large home and family has a room that gets its door closed when company comes. This room was like that most of the time! We felt Tina's need to be free, and we put as little restriction on her as possible. Her room was completely her private kingdom. Only Sun-Ling, Tina's special favorite cat, came and went freely. Although she had spent the morning cleaning her domain, I had great hesitancy in opening the door. She had always said,"I can't relax when things are too neat."

At this fateful moment we stood in front of the closed door anticipating the worst. I caught Tina's eye as she stood there watching adults invade her world. I wanted to leave the door closed but had to take hold of the knob and open it. Tina's life was to change too. I heard a deep gasp come from Maharishi as he stepped back. Every inch of the walls not adorned with doll collections was covered with souvenirs from school proms, menus, pom-poms from ball games, a toreador poster, ballet posters, movie star pictures, a cow bell and other props from the theatre. But the bed was made, and all clothing was put away. Maharishi's eyes took in the whole collection, and came to rest on the four large windows framed with trees and tropical vines. The curtains blowing free in the afternoon breeze gave a well decorated room an air of seclusion and a suggestion of simplicity. "If you would like to stay in here, we can take some things off the walls."

"That would be very nice."

I thought everything was fine until, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Tina's face. I shut my eyes quickly and ushered the group downstairs to safer ground. After the family was once again alone, I took Tina in my arms. She was near tears. "If that man is so holy, he understands how I feel about my room! Nobody can have my bedroom! Why can't he use the front bedroom?" Her eyes glowed like fiery coals. "I wish he would have, Tina. But, for some reason, he liked your room. I think it is quite an honor."

Tina was not convinced.

Olson, Helena, Maharishi at '433': The Story of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's First Visit to the United States (Los Angeles: R. R. Donnelley, 1979). 40-42.

Facebook Comments on the post   :


E what an asshole! 

M Wow Tina got screwed over twice; once by her mom who didn't protect her privacy/property and again by the strange man in white robes.

M Yah, and then didnt Tina go and built a house at HM?

L She did, I met her with her attorney husband can't remember his name? She seemed pretty out of it to me:(.

M Peter and Tina Sterling... I guess Tina had housing karma with Mahesh her whole life! Zoinks! ;-))

L I still have my house in Boone!! Keep hoping someone from the new cult will buy it(sri sri whatever)

P Lol. If Tina didn't want to give up her bedroom then it's because she was just unstressing. An enlightened master never makes mistakes - it was good for her evolution to give up her bedroom. She just wasn't evolved enough to understand.

M Learned you can't help anyone..but they can see your story and learn for themselves ...when they want to wake up, they will on their own timing, but many are way too invested to ever do so.

K There is an old saying "Take the best and leave the rest". I personally know Tina and Peter, and I'm sure she is neither "out of it" or feels deprived from Maharishi choosing her bedroom. But here's the question I have for L and M: Which is more important to you- How Tina feels today, or your opinion about what happened in the story above. If you are acting out of compassion for Tina, then I'm sure she would love to talk with you about the experience (she and Peter do have a telephone). But if you are more interested in trying to find and spread negative stories about Maharishi (or anyone else) then I'm sure you will find an eager audience. Some people are always more interested in dirt.

N HI K ...naw, nothing is "against" or "for"--- I think they are a lovely couple. Just find it interesting that she has housing karma with Mahesh..;-)) First her bedroom gets swiped then she builds a million dollar mansion where Mahesh tells everyone to build, then he pulls out of the development...interesting karma is all! Blessings upon you.

F Yeah sorry K   I'm from Australia and know none of the people involved, but i was raised in the tm movement. Its not a matter of enjoying the act of digging up dirt. I was deprived of many things due to the TM movement, and I never even stood in his presence. It's just a reality. The man was a parasite.

M I know a man here in M--- whose sister was approached sexually by Mahesh years ago, when they were in TM movement in their 20's. She had been falling in love with a guy her age, while Mahesh made his advances. She and her boyfriend decided to leave the TM group and basically "get out." Mahesh offered them a small private place to fly out on when he heard they were leaving. The plane mysteriously crashed minutes after take off.

My ex husband bought Mahesh's old helicopter (during the time we were not in Mahesh's favor.) the helicopter got shipped to Florida from Holland. Our pilot went down to Florida to fly it to NC, and almost died because it had been jimmied with. The only reason he is alive is because he knew from his time in Israel how to land a copter whose tail rotor had fallen off. 

Our breaks on our vehicles in NC were cut when we returned to get our stuff at our homes.

The guru was not benign lets just say.

M I know that the above is a can of worms for the K’s out there, but what the heck, I want to let people know, what L says is true.

K If those stories are true, I'm sorry you guys had those experiences. But it is sadder that you choose to spend so much time re-living them. Go out and live life. And if you are haunted by these experiences, see a therapist. We all have bad experiences. Some worse than others. But life is for living. Where we put our attention is a choice. And what we dwell on. we become. No offense intended.

M K you are absolutely correct. In addition, the beauty of connecting on FB can be to share and swap stories, both beautiful and painful. While most of my life is now swept up in the throws of very different subject matter, it is amazing to look back up my river and see how the waters shaped the rocks. I imagine for L and others who were raised from birth in the movement that the processing and de- programming may last longer than for myself, and I honor and respect this process, as it is a deep awakening into what feels right to the depth of one's soul. And soul matters are of great importance and value, and worthy of deep reflection. Therefore let us all listen and share our perspectives, as you have, such that we may further each others' path toward understanding.

L My reason for sharing is I don't want anyone to live through what I did and to reveal the monsterous lies that are being taught to children and adults alike. The children are more susceptible in some ways as beliefs become almost intractable if swallowed young. Also, very creative and innocent minds can end up in trouble too. Both of those wonderful qualities in people being used against them I find monsterous!! TMO needs a god dam warning label like any powerful drug!!!

M... Gotta say my evidence is not anecdotal -- I lived it. 

I can even give names on the stories of others, but prefer to respect others' privacy.

Bottom line is, I am not a part of any TM bashing group, and actually do not regularly spend my energy in this way, but I see many still are hopping out of the hot water cauldron, and if I can cheer them on, I certainly will..:-))

For those that choose to keep swimming in the hot water, god bless, cause it must still feel good and that's an authentic choice as well.

L’s thread does peak my interest, and while I've held my tongue for a decade or so, I find it quite fun to make fun of my own past and my own gullibility, I totally cannot believe what I believed, I suppose..:-))

Side note: beyond the attempts on our lives and our finances from Mahesh, I'd say the saddest part was hearing Mahesh yell at D  on the phone abusively. That sure the hell is not anecdotal -- I was there listening. No one deserves that, for choosing to have a child and get married. Or being in Vlodrop and experiencing being "excommunicated" in that environment ... That sure the hell isn't anecdotal either. And at the time none of those abuses were even very funny. Just saying'

M yeah ... well anyhow let's all just say, a certain chord has been struck with L's post, cause this is a long thread and probably the most and longest I have ever commented on FB to anyone's anything...love to you all, and now I'd better get back to that thing I call the present most immediate life

F Wow!! I accept that everyone here approaches the subject from a different angle, but I am going to try to nut this out. We're are talking about a powerful group of people with a massive following and it's not just America and India. We're talking about wave after wave of children being born into a non-reality where all sorts of abuses take place, including sexual, physical, spiritual, emotional, ritual and mental abuse. If it weren't for those people who continue to make information available on the internet, whether they repeat themselves or not, I would have never even made contact with another single ex-TMer. The most important thing here is children. And if we were to shift our focus away from a problem which continues to destroy lives before they even begin, that would be highly negligent. And yes K, I see a therapist. Have seen one for more than half of my life. You cant tell a quadraplegic to get up and walk, in the same way you can't tell a survivor of childhood trauma to just move on with life. There are many handicaps.

L Thank you for that wonderful perspective. You left out "At that time he probably wasn't enlightened yet, there are many stories of him reading people's minds, he just couldn't with Tina." My response "He was trying to exert authority and establish who was in control of the house and he was probably pissed she talked with him like he was just a normal dude." LOL 

The never ending journey, "Are we there yet?"

New York Times on exiting and exposing a cult (Scientology)

The New York Times of Sunday, March 7th (hard copy edition) had an interesting front page article about exiting and exposing Scientology.

Those who left the Transcendental Meditation Movement after working close to inner core activities probably can relate to Scientology tactics in this article... abysmally low wages, expensive advanced courses, repression of bad outcomes, promotion, protection & catering to celebrity participants, intimidation tactics about departure & about publicly disclosing inner 'secrets', rejection from so-called loved ones after speaking doubts about cult teachings or departing, difficulty integrating to the outside world.

For those interested, this link brings you to the online article:
Defectors say Church of Scientology Hides Abuse published by New York Times, March 6, 2010 (internet edition).

A Wind of Freedom at Transcendental Meditation U

I received an email last night that has given me such hope!

Although I've worked with thousands of former TMers, I've only worked with a few adults who were born or raised in TM. It's easy, unfortunately, for me to forget about the very different needs and experiences of Maharishi's Children. (My heartfelt thanks to Gina Catena for her help in my understanding this community.)

The note below gives me a glimpse into a very different world: The next generation of Maharishi University of Management in Fairfield, IA.

There is a bracing wind of freedom blowing in the halls of MUM (the old MIU) where some students are not afraid to state changes they want to see -- as well as an articulate statement of those things they want to keep and improve.

I urge readers to click on the linked article below. The essay is an eloquent call to arms from the next generation of the TM Movement.

Speaking only for myself, and not any other contributor to TMFB, if I can be of any help to these brave students, this is one aging hippie-wannabe I hope they will not hesitate to ask. (I can be reached on my cell at 518.651.6490 or by email at jmknapp53@gmail.com.)

For starters, I would be very interested in proposing a representative of these students to my fellow contributors as a columnist here at TMFB. (Gabriel Renfrew, are you listening?) Theirs is a perspective I believe readers here would be inspired by!

Hi John,

So this article is circulating around student Facebook profiles... I thought this may be of interest to you or possibly even to post. Much of what he says about the student body is true. Many of us this year have just begun to do what we wish without fear of repercussion. Well, the fear is still somewhat there, but we care far less about the motives of the TM organization. In fact, recently the "RC Dept." brought the hammer down on quite a few students telling them they had to leave at the end of the year because of low meditation attendance. I myself am one of these students. Word soon spread to the V.P. and he was dumbfounded that the RC department (in cooperation with an "Academic Committee") was assuming the authority to kick students out. Almost all of these students, including me, also have above a 3.0 GPA. So the V.P. told them to stop kicking people out, but for the most part it was too late because quite a few of the students told to leave had
already made plans.

We still have respect for what the founders intended with the university, but we are not those same people. Much of what Gabriel Renfrow's letter embodies is the spirit of a majority within the students. We know what is going on. We laugh at the answers we get from our "rounding" instructors. We think John Hagelin's burger king crown is ridiculous. TM works for some people, though we are highly curious about new and different practices. But most importantly, we believe in what this university could be and we think the movement/TM organization is ruining it.

Here is the link to the blog post my friend and student recently made:

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=91000722430&h=Bwd3D&u=_U11O&ref=nf

Feel free to post whatever you'd like :-)

All the Best,
Andrew
RandEm Hero arcatec23@yahoo.com

Ex-Scientology kids site

FYI, a fascinating website below

Abraham said this site "makes us look only wacky in comparison, rather than utterly insane."

IMHO, I think neglecting children in favor of levitation program four hours daily, daily amrit kalash, costly yagyas, and teaching 'spontaneous right action in support of nature' rather than life skills, compassion & morality IS pretttty insane!

Many kids raised in the TM Organizations struggle with similar issues as these kids raised in Scientology :

http://www.exscientologykids.com