"Open Thread" means you are welcome to comment about any topic, just so long as it's of relevance to readers of this blog. Or to ask any question of relevance to readers of this blog.
Heck, you're always welcome to do so, even if the post of the day is about something else.
Showing posts with label Reader Submissions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reader Submissions. Show all posts
Sunday, July 06, 2014
Monday, June 02, 2014
Emotional Problems Post-TM; Relating to Fairfield Relatives, Part II
[This is Part II of the previous article "Emotional Problems Post-TM; Relating to Fairfield Relatives, Part I" - ed.]
Second topic: How to Relate to Fairfield TM Relatives
Reader's comment:
"I’d like to get back to some previous comment threads on how to relate to family in TM if you are not in it....
'...I don’t expect my [relatives] to give up TM, and I don’t even try to convince them much or argue with them. But I do want to be able to visit them and find things to do (even if by myself or with other family) that are not completely connected to TM or MUM. I don't mind spending some time at MUM....
'There is certainly a lot of sensitivity to criticism of Maharishi by most I talk to.
'I’m curious if others have found ways to visit Fairfield and their TM friends and family comfortably, or if it is always uncomfortable for those who are not part of TM any more (or never were).
'...Finally, I’d add that I’m continuing in my reading and effort to see TM as a new religious movement rather than destructive cult, even if some on this site think this misguided or impossible."
Thank you to all commenters for your many, many intelligent and insightful comments. Also thanks to all who read TM-Free but do not send comments.
If any other reader would like their comments placed in this position of prominence as a TM-Free Blog "post," please let us know, and we will try to oblige!
Emotional Problems Post-TM; Relating to Fairfield Relatives, Part I
Recently I saw two readers' comments on TM-Free Blog that caught my attention in that I thought they lent themselves to serious discussion.
The first one mentioned psychological problems the reader has had since leaving the TM movement.
The second one asked how others manage the tricky terrain of visiting true-believer TM relatives and friends who live in Fairfield and Maharishi Vedic City, Iowa.
I was surprised that no one responded to these two comments. Since some TM-Free readers read only the essays, but not the reader comments, I suspect this may have been what happened, and these two topics slipped through the cracks.
So I hope I have not overstepped these two readers' privacy by reprinting portions of their comments below:
My response:
It is not uncommon for people who have left high-demand groups and have re-integrated themselves into the non-cult world to find that they have emotional problems. The problems may not seem connected to the group; therefore it may not occur to them that these problems are a result of their time in the group. If they see a psychotherapist, the psychotherapist may also agree that the problems are due to pre-existing issues. (Psychotherapists are only slowly being educated on this new field of post-cult syndrome.) For example, long ago I told my psychotherapist that I walked around in constant terror that the world was about to blow up. He interpreted it in the standard psychodynamic way. That is, he theorized that I must be angry about something from my childhood, and that I was experiencing that anger in a disguised form, as fear of the world exploding.
Then, I met with Steve Hassan, an exit counselor. Steve asked me, "What did they tell you would happen if you left TM?" I replied, "Why...they said that if I left Fairfield, I would be 'personally responsible' for World War Three!" And as soon as I made the connection, the terror went away!
That's an obvious example, but it illustrates my point. I recommend Steve Hassan's website freeminds.org, and his books. I hope these help.
The first one mentioned psychological problems the reader has had since leaving the TM movement.
The second one asked how others manage the tricky terrain of visiting true-believer TM relatives and friends who live in Fairfield and Maharishi Vedic City, Iowa.
I was surprised that no one responded to these two comments. Since some TM-Free readers read only the essays, but not the reader comments, I suspect this may have been what happened, and these two topics slipped through the cracks.
So I hope I have not overstepped these two readers' privacy by reprinting portions of their comments below:
First Topic: Emotional Problems Post-TM?
Reader's comment:
"...My commitment to TM lasted about 8 years....I did not have any acute psychological trauma as a result of the rounding and the indoctrination, and the recovery, although a bit slow, was not traumatic either. But I sometimes wonder if some of my psychological/ emotional difficulties are related to my years with TMO [TM organization - ed]."
My response:
It is not uncommon for people who have left high-demand groups and have re-integrated themselves into the non-cult world to find that they have emotional problems. The problems may not seem connected to the group; therefore it may not occur to them that these problems are a result of their time in the group. If they see a psychotherapist, the psychotherapist may also agree that the problems are due to pre-existing issues. (Psychotherapists are only slowly being educated on this new field of post-cult syndrome.) For example, long ago I told my psychotherapist that I walked around in constant terror that the world was about to blow up. He interpreted it in the standard psychodynamic way. That is, he theorized that I must be angry about something from my childhood, and that I was experiencing that anger in a disguised form, as fear of the world exploding.
Then, I met with Steve Hassan, an exit counselor. Steve asked me, "What did they tell you would happen if you left TM?" I replied, "Why...they said that if I left Fairfield, I would be 'personally responsible' for World War Three!" And as soon as I made the connection, the terror went away!
That's an obvious example, but it illustrates my point. I recommend Steve Hassan's website freeminds.org, and his books. I hope these help.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Personal Story: Bill Marles, "Spiritual Abuse"
It was 1972. I was 23 years of age, good looking and boyish in those days.
I had just been on a Transcendental Meditation Teacher Training Course in Italy and was returning home to Canada, via France, England and Scotland. I wound up being a house guest for a week with my Scottish relatives.
Of course, I talked up the virtues of TM and the Science of Creative Intelligence. Maharishi had sent us on a Mission to implement his World Plan and I was full of enthusiasm. My cousins listened patiently but didn't say much. Years later, I reflected that I must have been an awful bore.
Years passed. I grew further and further away from the Maharishi and TM. In 1980, I gave up the practice entirely.
Joyce's father and mother passed on, but we exchanged Christmas cards for years. She was only slightly older than I.
Several years ago, Joyce told me she had been initiated into TM. She told me this as if to say, “We now have something more in common than we used to.”
I told her the truth. Transcendental Meditation was a thing of the past for me.
That was the last I heard from Joyce. I tried several times to contact her again but to no avail. Talk about toxic! I can only assume she I blacklisted me. What a role reversal!
If I had another chance to meet with Joyce, I would have told her that I haven't known one person who has achieved the Guru's promise of self realization and enlightenment or who have even come close. Maharishi told us that it all would happen within six to eight years and now 40 years have passed and his devotees have as many or more problems than the rest of us.
I still have a copy of a 52 page Canadian World Plan Manual, a crude typewritten booklet, published in Italy in 1972. It is a reminder of how foolish, immature and delusional I was.
My separation from Maharishi and TM happened slowly. I just gradually slipped away. This process actually began in Italy. I remember being irritated with some insular, close minded people in Fuiggi Fonte who weren't interested in traveling two hours by train to spend a day in Rome, once the center of western civilization. For them, nothing existed beyond Maharishi and our tight knit little community. My eyes widened when a lone meditator got up at one of our meetings to ask why, after eight years, he still hadn't achieved enlightenment. Maharishi responded flippantly that one shouldn't set time limits on such things.
Back in Vancouver, someone in the local center pushed two of us to join the university curriculum development committee as student reps and push to establish an SCI course at that institution.
Faculty members blocked our way and the other TM rep immediately quit. Instead of fighting my teachers, I adapted and began work on a more acceptable project. At the end of my term, I had done nothing for the movement but I did initiate a modest little course change. Worth it? Definitely! I was starting to become more pragmatic.
I have always been something of a rebel and a loner, not much of a joiner. I was beginning to come to some sort of self realization about myself. Still it took another six or seven years to unattach myself completely from this cult.
Today I wouldn't be at all concerned about the TM Free Blog or similar websites, except for the fact that Maharishi and his movement refuses to die in my life. It keeps popping up where I least expect it.
In May of 2009, my girlfriend and I visited my friend Laura, not her real name, in Fairfield. Laura completed her BA in Education at a regular Canadian institution and worked as a teaching substitute there for a year or so. Then Laura dropped out of regular life and attached herself to the movement.
A resident of Fairfield since 1984, she holds a Masters Degree in Education from Maharishi International University. About eight years ago, she married Donald, another TM volunteer.
When we visited the two of them, they were making the equivalent of $3.50 an hour as meditation test subjects which was actually better than what the university administration paid. Laura supplemented this gig with cleaning another person's house. I can only hope that person paid her something approaching minimum wage.
Unlike a Catholic nun or a priest, Donald and Laura seem to enjoy no official status with the TM organization. They have no medical insurance. When Donald went to hospital, the state welfare department paid for his care. Donald also has chronic, untreated back problems, which from experience I know won't go away by itself.
We didn't see a lot of Donald and Laura because of their work obligations. Laura talked non-stop about how strapped they were for money. She might not admit it, but she wasn't happy with her poverty-stricken life.
Donald told me he envied my retired status, which must he called “bliss.” He also was fascinated with our dinky little hotel pool and hot tub. There's a guy, I figure, who would appreciate some physical creature comforts.
Their paltry income is supplemented by charity from others. Their car was supplied by a local agency. Laura gets help from her family and Donald's brother gave them his old computer. They sort of scrape by, no thanks to the TMO.
On the other hand, Maharishi's nephew is a billionaire. That doesn't seem fair.
Laura and Donald's emotional bonds to TM are tight. Laura's Mom is an avid meditator. Donald's brother ranks high in the TM organization. I can't see them leaving Fairfield any time soon, but I remain hopeful.
Elizabeth is another long time meditator, of 30 or 40 years standing, who's taken many courses in Fairfield. She's gone from living a good middle class life to enduring a hard one. Five years ago, she and her husband lived in a large luxurious home in a good area. They were a handsome couple. Elizabeth spoke at length about her TM activities and all of her TM buddies, a few of whom I once knew. One would have assumed that Elizabeth was, by now, a very wise and serene person.
Then, things began to fall apart. Elizabeth and her husband broke up. As is the case in many separations, their finances were no longer what they once were. Elizabeth had to move to a room in a poorer area. Since she had never worked, she had nothing to fall back on.
Elizabeth then had a nervous breakdown and wound up in the psychiatric unit of a local hospital. From there she went to living in a group home and drawing welfare. She no longer meditates and get this! She's taken up smoking, I'm told Elizabeth has aged 20 years. Talk about reverse evolution!
Finally there are my Canadian relatives who started meditating while I was in Italy. Two of them still meditate but the father and the son were forced to quit because TM was “too powerful” for them. The father, now deceased, was a manic depressive. The son, I think, is autistic. In theory, TM should have been helped them. It obviously did not.
Do you find these stories about Laura, Donald, Elizabeth and my family depressing? I do. They don't have the happy ending Maharishi promised. These are not tales of sweetness and light.
I am older and wiser than I was in 1972, and thankful I successfully escaped from the Maharishi cult.
I had just been on a Transcendental Meditation Teacher Training Course in Italy and was returning home to Canada, via France, England and Scotland. I wound up being a house guest for a week with my Scottish relatives.
Of course, I talked up the virtues of TM and the Science of Creative Intelligence. Maharishi had sent us on a Mission to implement his World Plan and I was full of enthusiasm. My cousins listened patiently but didn't say much. Years later, I reflected that I must have been an awful bore.
Years passed. I grew further and further away from the Maharishi and TM. In 1980, I gave up the practice entirely.
Joyce's father and mother passed on, but we exchanged Christmas cards for years. She was only slightly older than I.
Several years ago, Joyce told me she had been initiated into TM. She told me this as if to say, “We now have something more in common than we used to.”
I told her the truth. Transcendental Meditation was a thing of the past for me.
That was the last I heard from Joyce. I tried several times to contact her again but to no avail. Talk about toxic! I can only assume she I blacklisted me. What a role reversal!
If I had another chance to meet with Joyce, I would have told her that I haven't known one person who has achieved the Guru's promise of self realization and enlightenment or who have even come close. Maharishi told us that it all would happen within six to eight years and now 40 years have passed and his devotees have as many or more problems than the rest of us.
I still have a copy of a 52 page Canadian World Plan Manual, a crude typewritten booklet, published in Italy in 1972. It is a reminder of how foolish, immature and delusional I was.
My separation from Maharishi and TM happened slowly. I just gradually slipped away. This process actually began in Italy. I remember being irritated with some insular, close minded people in Fuiggi Fonte who weren't interested in traveling two hours by train to spend a day in Rome, once the center of western civilization. For them, nothing existed beyond Maharishi and our tight knit little community. My eyes widened when a lone meditator got up at one of our meetings to ask why, after eight years, he still hadn't achieved enlightenment. Maharishi responded flippantly that one shouldn't set time limits on such things.
Back in Vancouver, someone in the local center pushed two of us to join the university curriculum development committee as student reps and push to establish an SCI course at that institution.
Faculty members blocked our way and the other TM rep immediately quit. Instead of fighting my teachers, I adapted and began work on a more acceptable project. At the end of my term, I had done nothing for the movement but I did initiate a modest little course change. Worth it? Definitely! I was starting to become more pragmatic.
I have always been something of a rebel and a loner, not much of a joiner. I was beginning to come to some sort of self realization about myself. Still it took another six or seven years to unattach myself completely from this cult.
Today I wouldn't be at all concerned about the TM Free Blog or similar websites, except for the fact that Maharishi and his movement refuses to die in my life. It keeps popping up where I least expect it.
In May of 2009, my girlfriend and I visited my friend Laura, not her real name, in Fairfield. Laura completed her BA in Education at a regular Canadian institution and worked as a teaching substitute there for a year or so. Then Laura dropped out of regular life and attached herself to the movement.
A resident of Fairfield since 1984, she holds a Masters Degree in Education from Maharishi International University. About eight years ago, she married Donald, another TM volunteer.
When we visited the two of them, they were making the equivalent of $3.50 an hour as meditation test subjects which was actually better than what the university administration paid. Laura supplemented this gig with cleaning another person's house. I can only hope that person paid her something approaching minimum wage.
Unlike a Catholic nun or a priest, Donald and Laura seem to enjoy no official status with the TM organization. They have no medical insurance. When Donald went to hospital, the state welfare department paid for his care. Donald also has chronic, untreated back problems, which from experience I know won't go away by itself.
We didn't see a lot of Donald and Laura because of their work obligations. Laura talked non-stop about how strapped they were for money. She might not admit it, but she wasn't happy with her poverty-stricken life.
Donald told me he envied my retired status, which must he called “bliss.” He also was fascinated with our dinky little hotel pool and hot tub. There's a guy, I figure, who would appreciate some physical creature comforts.
Their paltry income is supplemented by charity from others. Their car was supplied by a local agency. Laura gets help from her family and Donald's brother gave them his old computer. They sort of scrape by, no thanks to the TMO.
On the other hand, Maharishi's nephew is a billionaire. That doesn't seem fair.
Laura and Donald's emotional bonds to TM are tight. Laura's Mom is an avid meditator. Donald's brother ranks high in the TM organization. I can't see them leaving Fairfield any time soon, but I remain hopeful.
Elizabeth is another long time meditator, of 30 or 40 years standing, who's taken many courses in Fairfield. She's gone from living a good middle class life to enduring a hard one. Five years ago, she and her husband lived in a large luxurious home in a good area. They were a handsome couple. Elizabeth spoke at length about her TM activities and all of her TM buddies, a few of whom I once knew. One would have assumed that Elizabeth was, by now, a very wise and serene person.
Then, things began to fall apart. Elizabeth and her husband broke up. As is the case in many separations, their finances were no longer what they once were. Elizabeth had to move to a room in a poorer area. Since she had never worked, she had nothing to fall back on.
Elizabeth then had a nervous breakdown and wound up in the psychiatric unit of a local hospital. From there she went to living in a group home and drawing welfare. She no longer meditates and get this! She's taken up smoking, I'm told Elizabeth has aged 20 years. Talk about reverse evolution!
Finally there are my Canadian relatives who started meditating while I was in Italy. Two of them still meditate but the father and the son were forced to quit because TM was “too powerful” for them. The father, now deceased, was a manic depressive. The son, I think, is autistic. In theory, TM should have been helped them. It obviously did not.
Do you find these stories about Laura, Donald, Elizabeth and my family depressing? I do. They don't have the happy ending Maharishi promised. These are not tales of sweetness and light.
I am older and wiser than I was in 1972, and thankful I successfully escaped from the Maharishi cult.
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