Judith Bourque, author of "Robes of Silk Feet of Clay" has given TM-Free Blog permission to reprint in full her latest press release. Good news for U.S. readers of TM-Free: Judith will be in the United States from February 17 - March 21, 2011.
---------------------------------------------------------------
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
NEW BOOK REVEALS LOVE AFFAIR WITH BEATLES/DAVID LYNCH GURU
ROBES OF SILK, FEET OF CLAY by JUDITH BOURQUE
This new book is the true story of a love affair with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the Indian Guru followed by the Beatles, David Lynch, Donovan, Mike Love, Mia Farrow, Deepak Chopra, as well as 6 million other meditators around the world. Maharishi was very successful in spreading his technique of Transcendental Meditation. But rumours that he was not the celibate monk he claimed to be have been circulating for decades. In this book Judith Bourque describes the love affair she experiences with Maharishi when she travels to India as a young woman to become a teacher of Transcendental Meditation. She then follows him around the world for an intense period of two years until she discovers he is also intimate with other young women. Frightened and disillusioned, she leaves the TM movement forever. She also shares the methods and means of her healing journey back to forgiveness and gratitude.
Judith Bourque is an American residing in Sweden. She will be coming to the Los Angeles/Santa Barbara area February 17- March 2 and be available for interviews. From March 2 - March 21 she will be in the Boston area and Camden, Maine. On March 15th she will be present for the DOCYARD screening of "David Wants to Fly" * at the Brattle Theatre at Harvard Square, Cambridge, Massachusetts. After the film she (in person) and director David Sieveking (via Skype) will have a question and answer period for the public.
* "David Wants to Fly" is a whistleblowing, award winning documentary by German Filmmaker David Sieveking about his journey through the world of Transcendental Meditation. He starts with meeting David Lynch, his idol, and ends up unexpectedly discovering the shadow side of the TM movement: Judith is interviewed with respect to her role as Maharishi's former lover.
cell: +46733012147
email: judithbourque@email.com
Skype address: bourque.judith
facebook: 1) Judith Bourque
2) Robes of Silk Feet of Clay
book can be purchased at: www.robesofsilkfeetofclay.com
Media:
"Well written and exciting by Maharishi's mistress"
Swedish Net Magazine, Månssonskultur.se at
www.manssonskultur.se
"An out of the ordinary love story"
Swedish Daily Newspaper, Nya WermlandsTidningen
www.nwt.se/mera/helg/article758545.ece
Robes of Silk Feet of Clay is a very sensitive story, full of love. And yet it contains a truth that has to come out. This book lifts the blinders from our eyes so we can put Maharishi in the proper perspective, ie a human being like all others with the same needs for intimacy and warmth. And yet we are able to keep our respect for what he gave us: knowledge of meditation and transcendental consciousness. Thank you Judith for your concrete and trustworthy report from the inner circle of the TM organisation. Conny Larsson, former TM teacher, actor, and author of Beatles, Maharishi och Jag (The Beatles, Maharishi and I), Norstedts, www.norstedts.se/bocker/utgiven/2010/Var/larsson_conny-beatles__maharishi_och_jag-inbunden/
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Book Review: "Robes of Silk Feet of Clay" by Judith Bourque
"Robes of Silk Feet of Clay" by Judith Bourque, published 2010, is the true story of Ms. Bourque's 1971-1972 love affair with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. I'd like to share some of my thoughts about the book.
First of all, I believe Ms. Bourque did not make up this story. One, because her account, along with the photos, make internal sense, and fit with other things I have learned over the years about Maharishi and his international staff. Two, because the book is profoundly non-sensational. If Bourque's goal was to write a (fictional) best-selling, the book would not have been so temperate, so lacking in spicy, sexy, torrid, tell-all details.
The gist of this book is that Maharishi did indeed break his vow of celibacy, and then kept it a secret from the world. That's the explicit message. However, what I also found educational were the insights I could tease out from between the lines - details that help me continue to piece together the mystery that was Maharishi. So I will share my musings here, hoping they will be helpful to others.
First, I notice that Maharishi never courted Bourque in the way that many other supposedly celibate gurus courted their students. That is, he didn't promise her that having sex with him would benefit her spiritually, that it was a special privilege to have sex with him, that he would give her spiritual energy, or anything like that. This is surprising to me, since I have read so much about Maharishi being an opportunist and a liar. I wonder why he did not court her in this way. What do you think?
I also note that Bourque did not feel an awe-inspiring super-human overwhelming energy coming from Maharishi, as some people, including myself, have experienced. Why didn't she? (Or why did I? Did you?)
I was very surprised by Maharishi's reaction after the first time he had intercourse with Bourque. It was so different from what I would have expected from a celibate Western religious who had broken his vow. A Westerner, I am guessing, would have felt shame, or guilt, or would have tried to hide it, or would have rationalized it, or would have gone to his superior for confession and counsel. Maharishi, instead, called together his Indian celibate buddies, and they spent the afternoon with him. It seemed as if breaking a vow of chastity was a common event, calling for neighborly consolation and tried-and-true advice. Maharishi seemed to view his slip-up not as a moral or spiritual issue (as perhaps a Catholic monk might), but rather as a practical health/spiritual energy issue. "The energy is used to going up!" he told Bourque, as if the core of the dilemma were physical, not ethical. (Come to think of it, isn't that how he looked at the path to enlightenment? A mechanical physical approach, repeated by rote, rather than a path of prayer or self-examination, as a Westerner might.) In line with this view of his problem, one of his solutions to his slip-up was, logically, also physical: someone gave him a foot massage.
This whole event just confirms for me how little we in the West really understand of Maharishi's worldview.
As I read this particular section of the book, I was reminded of Maharishi's comment at (I think) Humboldt State College in Arcata, California, USA, in the summer of 1972. At one point, he said, "What this movement needs is a few good celibates." At the time, I heard something unusual in his voice, but I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was. Now I wonder if what I heard was a wistfulness in his voice. Could he have been alluding to the fact that he wished that he had been a good celibate. Or am I being too generous? Maybe it was nostalgia for his ashram days? Or maybe it was just his embarrassment (noted many times in the book) around sex.
I also sadly note that after he had intercourse with Bourque for the first time, Maharishi was concerned about his own well-being, but he never expressed any concern for hers.
I found the photo on page 205 very interesting. This is a snapshot of Maharishi's scribbled notes. He had met with initiators from around the world to hear how some mantras had meanings in various tongues. For instance "rama" means "branch of a tree" in Spanish. (I looked it up in my Spanish-English dictionary.) And "aem" (also spelled "aim" or "ayim"), he notes, speaks to egotistical aspirations in English with its pronunciation as "I am." Maharishi scribbled on his notes"change it." He did, in fact, drop "rama," but not "aem." What about the eternal unchangeable tradition of how to choose the mantras? Or about his insistence that the sound is meaningless. Or that the sound becomes so faint that the exact pronunciation doesn't matter? Or about the mystical, never-to-be-spoken aloud, fragile-as-glass way we were taught to view mantras; and here he was, robustly marking the mantras down, fiddling with foreign languages, notating practical changes for a satisfied customer base.
Finally, I've heard Maharishi lecture many times that an enlightened person "averts the danger that has not yet come;" that an enlightened person "is not able to make mistakes." Therefore, the fact that Maharishi had sex - which he felt was unhealthy for him - would indicate either that he was lying to us about what an enlightened person is really like, or that Maharishi was not the enlightened person he implied he was. Or maybe both. What do you think? Did Maharishi believe those things, or was he just trying to entice us? Did he learn those things from Guru Dev?
Did you read the book? Would you like to share your thoughts about it here? Or your comments about my musings?
First of all, I believe Ms. Bourque did not make up this story. One, because her account, along with the photos, make internal sense, and fit with other things I have learned over the years about Maharishi and his international staff. Two, because the book is profoundly non-sensational. If Bourque's goal was to write a (fictional) best-selling, the book would not have been so temperate, so lacking in spicy, sexy, torrid, tell-all details.
The gist of this book is that Maharishi did indeed break his vow of celibacy, and then kept it a secret from the world. That's the explicit message. However, what I also found educational were the insights I could tease out from between the lines - details that help me continue to piece together the mystery that was Maharishi. So I will share my musings here, hoping they will be helpful to others.
First, I notice that Maharishi never courted Bourque in the way that many other supposedly celibate gurus courted their students. That is, he didn't promise her that having sex with him would benefit her spiritually, that it was a special privilege to have sex with him, that he would give her spiritual energy, or anything like that. This is surprising to me, since I have read so much about Maharishi being an opportunist and a liar. I wonder why he did not court her in this way. What do you think?
I also note that Bourque did not feel an awe-inspiring super-human overwhelming energy coming from Maharishi, as some people, including myself, have experienced. Why didn't she? (Or why did I? Did you?)
I was very surprised by Maharishi's reaction after the first time he had intercourse with Bourque. It was so different from what I would have expected from a celibate Western religious who had broken his vow. A Westerner, I am guessing, would have felt shame, or guilt, or would have tried to hide it, or would have rationalized it, or would have gone to his superior for confession and counsel. Maharishi, instead, called together his Indian celibate buddies, and they spent the afternoon with him. It seemed as if breaking a vow of chastity was a common event, calling for neighborly consolation and tried-and-true advice. Maharishi seemed to view his slip-up not as a moral or spiritual issue (as perhaps a Catholic monk might), but rather as a practical health/spiritual energy issue. "The energy is used to going up!" he told Bourque, as if the core of the dilemma were physical, not ethical. (Come to think of it, isn't that how he looked at the path to enlightenment? A mechanical physical approach, repeated by rote, rather than a path of prayer or self-examination, as a Westerner might.) In line with this view of his problem, one of his solutions to his slip-up was, logically, also physical: someone gave him a foot massage.
This whole event just confirms for me how little we in the West really understand of Maharishi's worldview.
As I read this particular section of the book, I was reminded of Maharishi's comment at (I think) Humboldt State College in Arcata, California, USA, in the summer of 1972. At one point, he said, "What this movement needs is a few good celibates." At the time, I heard something unusual in his voice, but I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was. Now I wonder if what I heard was a wistfulness in his voice. Could he have been alluding to the fact that he wished that he had been a good celibate. Or am I being too generous? Maybe it was nostalgia for his ashram days? Or maybe it was just his embarrassment (noted many times in the book) around sex.
I also sadly note that after he had intercourse with Bourque for the first time, Maharishi was concerned about his own well-being, but he never expressed any concern for hers.
I found the photo on page 205 very interesting. This is a snapshot of Maharishi's scribbled notes. He had met with initiators from around the world to hear how some mantras had meanings in various tongues. For instance "rama" means "branch of a tree" in Spanish. (I looked it up in my Spanish-English dictionary.) And "aem" (also spelled "aim" or "ayim"), he notes, speaks to egotistical aspirations in English with its pronunciation as "I am." Maharishi scribbled on his notes"change it." He did, in fact, drop "rama," but not "aem." What about the eternal unchangeable tradition of how to choose the mantras? Or about his insistence that the sound is meaningless. Or that the sound becomes so faint that the exact pronunciation doesn't matter? Or about the mystical, never-to-be-spoken aloud, fragile-as-glass way we were taught to view mantras; and here he was, robustly marking the mantras down, fiddling with foreign languages, notating practical changes for a satisfied customer base.
Finally, I've heard Maharishi lecture many times that an enlightened person "averts the danger that has not yet come;" that an enlightened person "is not able to make mistakes." Therefore, the fact that Maharishi had sex - which he felt was unhealthy for him - would indicate either that he was lying to us about what an enlightened person is really like, or that Maharishi was not the enlightened person he implied he was. Or maybe both. What do you think? Did Maharishi believe those things, or was he just trying to entice us? Did he learn those things from Guru Dev?
Did you read the book? Would you like to share your thoughts about it here? Or your comments about my musings?
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
"Robes of Silk, Feet of Clay" at reduced price
Today I went to the website selling the book "Robes of Silk, Feet of Clay" by Judith Bourque. It turns out they're having a "Christmas sale".
"Robes of Silk, Feet of Clay" is the true story of Judith Bourque's (sexual) love affair with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Posts about this book can be found on TM-Free Blog.
According to Ms. Bourque's site, the usual price for U.S.ers for one book is $37.53 (including shipping and handling). The Christmas sale price is $24.82 (including s & h).
No, I do not get a commission. I don't even know Judith Bourque! I just thought some of our readers would like to know.
As far as I have been able to research, this book is not available in any U.S. library. When I have time, I intend to suggest to my local library that they purchase it. I wonder if any of the Maharishi school libraries would be open to ordering a few copies, since it gives first-person recollections of time spent intimately with Maharishi.
"Robes of Silk, Feet of Clay" is the true story of Judith Bourque's (sexual) love affair with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Posts about this book can be found on TM-Free Blog.
According to Ms. Bourque's site, the usual price for U.S.ers for one book is $37.53 (including shipping and handling). The Christmas sale price is $24.82 (including s & h).
No, I do not get a commission. I don't even know Judith Bourque! I just thought some of our readers would like to know.
As far as I have been able to research, this book is not available in any U.S. library. When I have time, I intend to suggest to my local library that they purchase it. I wonder if any of the Maharishi school libraries would be open to ordering a few copies, since it gives first-person recollections of time spent intimately with Maharishi.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Judith Bourques' Robes of Silk, Feet of Clay arrives
1st Review written at Fairfield Life:
Those who were expecting an angry "tell all" from Ms. Bourque are going to be very surprised. In fact, she maintains a very balanced view of MMY. Ms. Bourque remains a strong supporter of many things that MMY accomplished in his life. At the same time she points out the danger in hanging "god-like" or beyond human expectations on MMY or any spiritual teacher. She also makes a strong case for the need of a general house-cleaning in the TMO as she becomes more familiar with the present day rise of "raja-ism".
Along with many of us who were around MMY in the early 70s, Ms. Bourque witnessed the seeds of "raja-ism" with MMY's steady removal of the brightest and most creative minds of the TMO during that time, to be replaced with those who simply follow without ever raising questions.
There is a very touching chapter towards the end of the book titled: A Message To My Sisters where Judith reaches out to all other women who found themselves in a similar situation with MMY. (It's quite clear that she is personally aware of several other women who had the same experience with MMY.) Judith Bourques own affair with MMY started in Rishikesh in 1970 and continued on until it tapered off in Seelisberg when it was clear that MMY's interest was drifting away towards several other women.
It was in Seelisberg that Judith became involved with the man (a former leader of the TMO in Sweden) she later married. As disappointing as it is to read of MMY's use of his own power position to satisfy his sexual needs, it's actually more disturbing to read of his selfish manipulation of these women's' personal lives. When MMY learns of Judith's interest in this man (who coincidentally was also the person who obtained the Seelisberg property for the TMO) he writes notes (included in the book) telling Judith that this is the cause of the physical problems she was suffering from at the time. It's clear that MMY provided various degrees of financial support for Judith during the time of their affair. He also arranged for Indian merchants to bring the finest silk saris and gold jewelry for Judith to wear.
In spite of all this, Judith Bourque's admiration for what MMY accomplished in bringing TM to the world is clear throughout the book. At the German premier of the David Sieviking's "David Wants To Fly" movie, in which Ms. Bourque appears, she gently chides Sieviking for not presenting more of the positive side of what MMY accomplished.
I would urge anyone with an interest in learning more about this aspect of MMY's life to read this very well written and often moving, book.
I believe it would be very difficult indeed for someone to read the book and still question Ms. Bourques' honesty.
Robes of Silk, Feet of Clay/Judith Bourque
I received a copy of Judith's book yesterday and finished reading it today. The book includes a large number of photos from the late 60's and early 70s as well as a number of personal notes written to Judith from MMY. I have a small stash of notes from MMY.... the handwriting of the notes in the book certainly appears to be his.Those who were expecting an angry "tell all" from Ms. Bourque are going to be very surprised. In fact, she maintains a very balanced view of MMY. Ms. Bourque remains a strong supporter of many things that MMY accomplished in his life. At the same time she points out the danger in hanging "god-like" or beyond human expectations on MMY or any spiritual teacher. She also makes a strong case for the need of a general house-cleaning in the TMO as she becomes more familiar with the present day rise of "raja-ism".
Along with many of us who were around MMY in the early 70s, Ms. Bourque witnessed the seeds of "raja-ism" with MMY's steady removal of the brightest and most creative minds of the TMO during that time, to be replaced with those who simply follow without ever raising questions.
There is a very touching chapter towards the end of the book titled: A Message To My Sisters where Judith reaches out to all other women who found themselves in a similar situation with MMY. (It's quite clear that she is personally aware of several other women who had the same experience with MMY.) Judith Bourques own affair with MMY started in Rishikesh in 1970 and continued on until it tapered off in Seelisberg when it was clear that MMY's interest was drifting away towards several other women.
It was in Seelisberg that Judith became involved with the man (a former leader of the TMO in Sweden) she later married. As disappointing as it is to read of MMY's use of his own power position to satisfy his sexual needs, it's actually more disturbing to read of his selfish manipulation of these women's' personal lives. When MMY learns of Judith's interest in this man (who coincidentally was also the person who obtained the Seelisberg property for the TMO) he writes notes (included in the book) telling Judith that this is the cause of the physical problems she was suffering from at the time. It's clear that MMY provided various degrees of financial support for Judith during the time of their affair. He also arranged for Indian merchants to bring the finest silk saris and gold jewelry for Judith to wear.
In spite of all this, Judith Bourque's admiration for what MMY accomplished in bringing TM to the world is clear throughout the book. At the German premier of the David Sieviking's "David Wants To Fly" movie, in which Ms. Bourque appears, she gently chides Sieviking for not presenting more of the positive side of what MMY accomplished.
I would urge anyone with an interest in learning more about this aspect of MMY's life to read this very well written and often moving, book.
I believe it would be very difficult indeed for someone to read the book and still question Ms. Bourques' honesty.
Monday, May 04, 2009
Maharishi's Teachings on Sex and Gender Roles
When I learned TM in 1971, I was taught that TM did not require a change in lifestyle. Back then, Maharishi used to say that when a person started doing TM, their behavior automatically became better and better, therefore it was unnecessary for him to impose any rules of behavior on anyone. When I practiced TM only 20 minutes twice a day, what we were told was accurate - TM indeed did not require a change in belief or lifestyle.
But I discovered that when a person got more deeply involved in the TM organization, there were plenty of rules that Maharishi instituted. There were rules about sex and gender roles, and as the years went by, his rules became more and more anti-sex and anti-female.
So, I invite you to take a second trip with me down memory lane. (My first trip down memory lane was my essay "Acting Funny Around Money", published in TMFree on March 21, 2009.) This time, I'm recalling Maharishi's rules around sex and gender roles from 1971 to 1981 (the years I was in the TM movement), as well as how these rules played out in the lives and beliefs of his followers.
I'm writing this all from memory, so I'm sure some dates and incidents will be inaccurate. If you want, please correct my mistakes in the "Comments" section below. Also, if you'd like, share some of your own memories of sex and gender roles in Maharishi's universe, and how it affected the people who followed him. Or if you were involved in the TM organization after 1981, share with us what the new rules were. Some of your memories may be very personal, so be sure to only reveal as much as you're comfortable revealing. Or use a pseudonym - and if you do so, double check to make sure the "Comments" page is not pulling up and publishing your real name along with your anonymous name.
So here are my memories on Maharishi's changing rules on sex and gender roles.
1955 Publication of "Beacon Light of the Himalayas" by our Maharishi. Regarding Guru Dev, Maharishi wrote that Guru Dev sought as his guru someone of the highest calibre - therefore, naturally they would be a lifelong celibate.
1968? Rumor that Maharishi made sexual advances to Mia Farrow in his ashram in India.
1970? At the TM Teacher Training Course in California, USA, there was co-ed skinny dipping. (So I heard.)
1971 I was instructed in TM. "Requires no change in lifestyle. Person spontaneously acts better, more in accord with the laws of nature." (Paraphrased.)
1972 Humboldt State College, Arcata, California, USA, one month summer course. Maharishi asked the attendees if we could manage to refrain from having sex for just one month, during the course? [This was during the height of the "sexual revolution."] (Some of us didn't refrain, even so.)
1972 Humboldt. Questioner: "Maharishi, what is the purpose of sex?" Maharishi (looking uncomfortable): "Ask your doctor."
1972 Humboldt. Questioner: "Maharishi, what is the value of celibacy?" Maharishi: "Keeps the body a little cleaner, a little fresher."
1972 Humboldt. Questioner: "Jerry, [Jerry Jarvis, U.S. national director of Students International Meditation Society) does Maharishi have, like, a girlfriend or something?" Jerry: "Maharishi is a monk. He likes everybody."
1974? TM Teacher Training Course, January-May, 1974, La Antilla, Spain. Maharishi: "I'm almost scared to say it, but what this movement needs is a few good celibates."
1974 La Antilla. Questioner: "Max, [Max Fleischer (sp.?), director of the Teacher Training Course], if we find our sexual desires are overwhelming while we're on TTC, is it okay to act on them?" Max: "If you find that they're getting in the way of your being one-pointedly on the program, then take care of it, so that you can get back to your studies." (Note: And alternately, some people found that while they were rounding they had virtually no sexual urges.)
1974 La Antilla. Questioner: "Jerry [Jarvis] [or perhaps it was Max], is homosexuality bad for ones evolution?" Answer: You know, this is such a big, unknowable universe. Who's to say what is good or evil in the mind of the supreme Creative Intelligence as far as this little corner of the universe? [paraphrased.] Maharishi has said, 'It's interesting, but many people with this orientation - although Maharishi didn't use the word 'orientation' - have been very helpful to the movement.' "
1974 La Antilla. Maharishi: "I'm a monk. Seeing all these ladies in miniskirts embarrasses me...But I know they're the style, so it's okay to wear them back home." [paraphrased].
1974 La Antilla. Rumors that on a previous TTC, some single women got pregnant, and asked Maharishi if abortion was bad for their "evolution." Rumor had it that he replied that the soul doesn't enter the fetus until the third month, so before that, it's okay to have an abortion.
1974 La Antilla. We are told that women have "more delicate nervous systems" than men - that they take on stress more easily and they throw it off more easily.
1974 La Antilla. TTC Teacher: "At the initiation ceremony, female teachers should make sure they wear blouses that cover their shoulders."
1974? "M" group started. (Male celibates.)
1974 A TM teacher shares with me the rumor that Maharishi made sexual advances to female TM teachers, and that those teachers have since stopped teaching TM and stopped doing TM. She and I don't believe the rumor. "Maharishi? That's impossible. Probably he is just so full of cosmic love, and they misinterpreted it." We can understand if someone gives up teaching TM, but we are horrified that they would stop meditating.
1975 Academy for the Science of Creative Intelligence, Livingston Manor, New York, USA. Director of Housing: "We don't have enough bedrooms for all the staff. Perhaps if you're engaged, you and your girlfriend could double up."
1975: Livingston Manor. Director: "There are two types of life: single life and married life. When you live here, please think of yourself as being a guest in Maharishi's home, and don't do anything that would offend him." [i.e. Celibacy is the only approved behavior for non-married people.]
1975? Teacher Training Courses and Advanced Training Courses for TM teachers start being sex-segregated. Courses become "Men's courses, "Ladies' courses" and "Couples' courses." Women are officially referred to as "Ladies" i.e. "Ladies' courses," "Ladies' dining hall," "ladies' dorms," etc.
1975: Questioner: "Charlie, [Lutes, the elder statesman of the spiritual branch of the Spiritual Regeneration Movement, Maharishi's first Western organization] is it wrong to have sex if you're not married?" Charlie: "What, do we have some guilty consciences here? It should be done in love and kindness and respect. 'Everything in moderation,' isn't that what the Greek philosophers taught? Don't strain. If you really want to do it, don't force yourself not to. If you don't want to do it, don't force yourself to. No, I don't believe you need to perform a specific ceremony first (wedding) in order to make it morally okay to engage in this experience." [paraphrase]
1976 Livingston Manor, New York, USA. Rumors that our boss was a "bramichariya," a celibate for Maharishi. Rumors that someone found him in bed with a woman.
1976 Livingston Manor. Maharishi visits the video studio here. One of the camera people is a woman. Maharishi is shocked and asks, "You allow a lady to handle the cameras?" She is taken off cameras and put in charge of make-up.
1976 Livingston Manor. Told to me by a TM teacher: "Maharishi says that if you have sex and you're not married, it's absolutely the worst thing you can do for your evolution. When you have sex, you exchange karma with that person." Me: "What if you've already blown it?" He: "Ur, then stop immediately!"
1976 A woman on staff at South Fallsburg, New York, USA, confides to me that when there is a men-only one-and-a-half month ATR at South Fallsburg, the men ogle the female staff so mercilessly that the female staff have taken to wearing baggy sweaters in public.
1976 First rumor heard of "celibate marriages." Apparently encouraged by Maharishi for faster spiritual growth.
1977? TM-Sidhis "flying" halls are made sex-segregated.
1977? Staff woman expelled from Livingston Manor for having a man sleep over in her cabin. Rumor is that a man was not expelled for having woman visitor sleep over.
1977 TM teacher tells me, "Don't tell the TM Center that my fiance slept over my house, or they'll kick me out and blacklist me!"
1977? Women who have been instructed in the TM-Sidhas are told to "rest" (stay at home in bed) for the first three days of their menstrual period.
1978? Livingston Manor. All women and all gay men are told to leave, turning this into a celibate male facility.
1978? Sex-segregated groups sent to "trouble spots" around the world to levitate for peace.
1978? Female groups are not sent to trouble spots that are most rustic or dangerous.
1978? Female higher-ups start wearing saris. But not in the traditional Indian manner, where upper chest, arms, and midriff are visible. TM women cover all these areas with their saris.
1979 On TM-Sidhis course, women are encouraged to wear high necks, long sleeves and over-the-knee dresses when Maharishi is around, and even when he isn't.
1979 Creating Coherence Course, MIU, Fairfield, Iowa, USA. Men and women have separate dorms, separate "flying halls," separate sitting areas in meetings, separate dining halls, separate work crews.
1979 Creating Coherence Course. Staff are divided into "men's work crews" and "ladies' work crews." Men can choose from construction, painting, office work, grounds, electrical work, etc.; and women can work in the office. My request for a physically active job is met with astonishment by the man in charge. He thought women are more "delicate" than men and would prefer an indoor, sitting job where they can wear pretty clothes and not sweat. I explain that when I am physically active, I "experience bliss." Dumbfounded, he agrees to start a "ladies' painting crew," which I become a member of.
1979 MIU. During "Forest Academy" (rounding semester), students are encouraged to keep their "metabolisms low" by no kissing, etc .
1979 Creating Coherence Course. Married course participants are instructed to have no public displays of affection. This even extends to no public hand-holding.
1979 Creating Coherence Course. Married couples are instructed to always be together, to do everything together, to sit together at meals, to always walk next to each other, etc.
1979 Creating Coherence Course. Married couples count as one person: on CCC issues, the Director of the Men's Course gets one vote, the Director of the Ladies' Course gets one vote, the husband and wife Co-Directors of the Couples' Course, Maharishi explains, "are of course one person," and get one vote.
1980? Creating Coherence Course. I tell a woman friend that I would love to be on the construction crew and learn how to build houses. She says, "Oh, no, you don't want to be under a house in the mud. I can see you in a beautiful dress with a flower in your hair."
1980? Formation of "Purusha" one-year (?) courses for celibate men and "Mother Divine" one-year (?) courses for celibate women.
1980 Less and less women are appearing in high-ranking positions in the TM organization.
1980 Maharishi tells us that although the TM-Sidhis program will give us immortality, only people who have been life-long celibates can be immortal. He tells us that those sidhas who have ever had sex will not be immortal, but we will live a long time.
1980? CCC. Some higher-up tells the men, "Decide if you are going to be celibate or not. Either make a decision to live that way or to not live that way, but then stick with it. Don't just go back and forth on it."
1980 Someone asked Maharishi what to do if they weren't getting along with their spouse. Maharishi replied, "Do you sleep in the same room?" (Unclear what this meant. Perhaps he meant if they had sex they would get along better?)
1980? CCC. Freezing cold winters in Iowa. I wear woolen pants, and flannel long johns over them. Our supervisors at work are male bramichariyas. Word comes down, "Please don't wear your long johns in public. We have celibates working here; it makes them uncomfortable."
1980 CCC. Money before everything. Women are told that if they work for Sidha Corp. International, they can only take off two, not three, paid days of "resting" during their menstrual period.
1980 CCC. The TM-Sidhis seem to have various effects on peoples' sexual responses. For instance, as soon as I learn to "fly," I cease having interest in men or in sex. I find, at age 28, I have sexual urges only once a month. I assume I am in touch with my natural cycles, and feel very proud of my spiritual evolution. I also have heard about one married woman, after she learned the TM-Sidhis, still enjoyed cuddling, but she recoiled from having sexual relations with her husband. Then, there is the 27-year old female friend of mine who confides to me that following the meditation/"flying" program, she sometimes finds herself so sexually aroused that she actually has to masturbate in the "flying" hall. Another single woman friend of mine on CCC became pregnant. (This must have taken a great deal of initiative, since the courses were sex-segregated.) (She went on to have an abortion.)
1981 MIU. Discussion amongst women about a women's rights club on campus. One woman says, condescendingly, "Those woman who talk about 'women's liberation'; well, we know what women's liberation is really about." We all nod smugly in agreement.
1981 Evolving men's consciousness in the Age of Enlightenment: I am chatting with a male course participant
who is on the construction crew. I say that I would love to learn construction. He says, "I don't think it's right for women to do construction, because then they get more muscled, and they're no longer so attractive to men." I've always regretted that I didn't ask him what he thought about the value of high income, aerobic exercise, fresh air, weight-bearing exercise, useful skills, etc. for women.
That's the end of my reminiscences. Now it's your turn!
But I discovered that when a person got more deeply involved in the TM organization, there were plenty of rules that Maharishi instituted. There were rules about sex and gender roles, and as the years went by, his rules became more and more anti-sex and anti-female.
So, I invite you to take a second trip with me down memory lane. (My first trip down memory lane was my essay "Acting Funny Around Money", published in TMFree on March 21, 2009.) This time, I'm recalling Maharishi's rules around sex and gender roles from 1971 to 1981 (the years I was in the TM movement), as well as how these rules played out in the lives and beliefs of his followers.
I'm writing this all from memory, so I'm sure some dates and incidents will be inaccurate. If you want, please correct my mistakes in the "Comments" section below. Also, if you'd like, share some of your own memories of sex and gender roles in Maharishi's universe, and how it affected the people who followed him. Or if you were involved in the TM organization after 1981, share with us what the new rules were. Some of your memories may be very personal, so be sure to only reveal as much as you're comfortable revealing. Or use a pseudonym - and if you do so, double check to make sure the "Comments" page is not pulling up and publishing your real name along with your anonymous name.
So here are my memories on Maharishi's changing rules on sex and gender roles.
1955 Publication of "Beacon Light of the Himalayas" by our Maharishi. Regarding Guru Dev, Maharishi wrote that Guru Dev sought as his guru someone of the highest calibre - therefore, naturally they would be a lifelong celibate.
1968? Rumor that Maharishi made sexual advances to Mia Farrow in his ashram in India.
1970? At the TM Teacher Training Course in California, USA, there was co-ed skinny dipping. (So I heard.)
1971 I was instructed in TM. "Requires no change in lifestyle. Person spontaneously acts better, more in accord with the laws of nature." (Paraphrased.)
1972 Humboldt State College, Arcata, California, USA, one month summer course. Maharishi asked the attendees if we could manage to refrain from having sex for just one month, during the course? [This was during the height of the "sexual revolution."] (Some of us didn't refrain, even so.)
1972 Humboldt. Questioner: "Maharishi, what is the purpose of sex?" Maharishi (looking uncomfortable): "Ask your doctor."
1972 Humboldt. Questioner: "Maharishi, what is the value of celibacy?" Maharishi: "Keeps the body a little cleaner, a little fresher."
1972 Humboldt. Questioner: "Jerry, [Jerry Jarvis, U.S. national director of Students International Meditation Society) does Maharishi have, like, a girlfriend or something?" Jerry: "Maharishi is a monk. He likes everybody."
1974? TM Teacher Training Course, January-May, 1974, La Antilla, Spain. Maharishi: "I'm almost scared to say it, but what this movement needs is a few good celibates."
1974 La Antilla. Questioner: "Max, [Max Fleischer (sp.?), director of the Teacher Training Course], if we find our sexual desires are overwhelming while we're on TTC, is it okay to act on them?" Max: "If you find that they're getting in the way of your being one-pointedly on the program, then take care of it, so that you can get back to your studies." (Note: And alternately, some people found that while they were rounding they had virtually no sexual urges.)
1974 La Antilla. Questioner: "Jerry [Jarvis] [or perhaps it was Max], is homosexuality bad for ones evolution?" Answer: You know, this is such a big, unknowable universe. Who's to say what is good or evil in the mind of the supreme Creative Intelligence as far as this little corner of the universe? [paraphrased.] Maharishi has said, 'It's interesting, but many people with this orientation - although Maharishi didn't use the word 'orientation' - have been very helpful to the movement.' "
1974 La Antilla. Maharishi: "I'm a monk. Seeing all these ladies in miniskirts embarrasses me...But I know they're the style, so it's okay to wear them back home." [paraphrased].
1974 La Antilla. Rumors that on a previous TTC, some single women got pregnant, and asked Maharishi if abortion was bad for their "evolution." Rumor had it that he replied that the soul doesn't enter the fetus until the third month, so before that, it's okay to have an abortion.
1974 La Antilla. We are told that women have "more delicate nervous systems" than men - that they take on stress more easily and they throw it off more easily.
1974 La Antilla. TTC Teacher: "At the initiation ceremony, female teachers should make sure they wear blouses that cover their shoulders."
1974? "M" group started. (Male celibates.)
1974 A TM teacher shares with me the rumor that Maharishi made sexual advances to female TM teachers, and that those teachers have since stopped teaching TM and stopped doing TM. She and I don't believe the rumor. "Maharishi? That's impossible. Probably he is just so full of cosmic love, and they misinterpreted it." We can understand if someone gives up teaching TM, but we are horrified that they would stop meditating.
1975 Academy for the Science of Creative Intelligence, Livingston Manor, New York, USA. Director of Housing: "We don't have enough bedrooms for all the staff. Perhaps if you're engaged, you and your girlfriend could double up."
1975: Livingston Manor. Director: "There are two types of life: single life and married life. When you live here, please think of yourself as being a guest in Maharishi's home, and don't do anything that would offend him." [i.e. Celibacy is the only approved behavior for non-married people.]
1975? Teacher Training Courses and Advanced Training Courses for TM teachers start being sex-segregated. Courses become "Men's courses, "Ladies' courses" and "Couples' courses." Women are officially referred to as "Ladies" i.e. "Ladies' courses," "Ladies' dining hall," "ladies' dorms," etc.
1975: Questioner: "Charlie, [Lutes, the elder statesman of the spiritual branch of the Spiritual Regeneration Movement, Maharishi's first Western organization] is it wrong to have sex if you're not married?" Charlie: "What, do we have some guilty consciences here? It should be done in love and kindness and respect. 'Everything in moderation,' isn't that what the Greek philosophers taught? Don't strain. If you really want to do it, don't force yourself not to. If you don't want to do it, don't force yourself to. No, I don't believe you need to perform a specific ceremony first (wedding) in order to make it morally okay to engage in this experience." [paraphrase]
1976 Livingston Manor, New York, USA. Rumors that our boss was a "bramichariya," a celibate for Maharishi. Rumors that someone found him in bed with a woman.
1976 Livingston Manor. Maharishi visits the video studio here. One of the camera people is a woman. Maharishi is shocked and asks, "You allow a lady to handle the cameras?" She is taken off cameras and put in charge of make-up.
1976 Livingston Manor. Told to me by a TM teacher: "Maharishi says that if you have sex and you're not married, it's absolutely the worst thing you can do for your evolution. When you have sex, you exchange karma with that person." Me: "What if you've already blown it?" He: "Ur, then stop immediately!"
1976 A woman on staff at South Fallsburg, New York, USA, confides to me that when there is a men-only one-and-a-half month ATR at South Fallsburg, the men ogle the female staff so mercilessly that the female staff have taken to wearing baggy sweaters in public.
1976 First rumor heard of "celibate marriages." Apparently encouraged by Maharishi for faster spiritual growth.
1977? TM-Sidhis "flying" halls are made sex-segregated.
1977? Staff woman expelled from Livingston Manor for having a man sleep over in her cabin. Rumor is that a man was not expelled for having woman visitor sleep over.
1977 TM teacher tells me, "Don't tell the TM Center that my fiance slept over my house, or they'll kick me out and blacklist me!"
1977? Women who have been instructed in the TM-Sidhas are told to "rest" (stay at home in bed) for the first three days of their menstrual period.
1978? Livingston Manor. All women and all gay men are told to leave, turning this into a celibate male facility.
1978? Sex-segregated groups sent to "trouble spots" around the world to levitate for peace.
1978? Female groups are not sent to trouble spots that are most rustic or dangerous.
1978? Female higher-ups start wearing saris. But not in the traditional Indian manner, where upper chest, arms, and midriff are visible. TM women cover all these areas with their saris.
1979 On TM-Sidhis course, women are encouraged to wear high necks, long sleeves and over-the-knee dresses when Maharishi is around, and even when he isn't.
1979 Creating Coherence Course, MIU, Fairfield, Iowa, USA. Men and women have separate dorms, separate "flying halls," separate sitting areas in meetings, separate dining halls, separate work crews.
1979 Creating Coherence Course. Staff are divided into "men's work crews" and "ladies' work crews." Men can choose from construction, painting, office work, grounds, electrical work, etc.; and women can work in the office. My request for a physically active job is met with astonishment by the man in charge. He thought women are more "delicate" than men and would prefer an indoor, sitting job where they can wear pretty clothes and not sweat. I explain that when I am physically active, I "experience bliss." Dumbfounded, he agrees to start a "ladies' painting crew," which I become a member of.
1979 MIU. During "Forest Academy" (rounding semester), students are encouraged to keep their "metabolisms low" by no kissing, etc .
1979 Creating Coherence Course. Married course participants are instructed to have no public displays of affection. This even extends to no public hand-holding.
1979 Creating Coherence Course. Married couples are instructed to always be together, to do everything together, to sit together at meals, to always walk next to each other, etc.
1979 Creating Coherence Course. Married couples count as one person: on CCC issues, the Director of the Men's Course gets one vote, the Director of the Ladies' Course gets one vote, the husband and wife Co-Directors of the Couples' Course, Maharishi explains, "are of course one person," and get one vote.
1980? Creating Coherence Course. I tell a woman friend that I would love to be on the construction crew and learn how to build houses. She says, "Oh, no, you don't want to be under a house in the mud. I can see you in a beautiful dress with a flower in your hair."
1980? Formation of "Purusha" one-year (?) courses for celibate men and "Mother Divine" one-year (?) courses for celibate women.
1980 Less and less women are appearing in high-ranking positions in the TM organization.
1980 Maharishi tells us that although the TM-Sidhis program will give us immortality, only people who have been life-long celibates can be immortal. He tells us that those sidhas who have ever had sex will not be immortal, but we will live a long time.
1980? CCC. Some higher-up tells the men, "Decide if you are going to be celibate or not. Either make a decision to live that way or to not live that way, but then stick with it. Don't just go back and forth on it."
1980 Someone asked Maharishi what to do if they weren't getting along with their spouse. Maharishi replied, "Do you sleep in the same room?" (Unclear what this meant. Perhaps he meant if they had sex they would get along better?)
1980? CCC. Freezing cold winters in Iowa. I wear woolen pants, and flannel long johns over them. Our supervisors at work are male bramichariyas. Word comes down, "Please don't wear your long johns in public. We have celibates working here; it makes them uncomfortable."
1980 CCC. Money before everything. Women are told that if they work for Sidha Corp. International, they can only take off two, not three, paid days of "resting" during their menstrual period.
1980 CCC. The TM-Sidhis seem to have various effects on peoples' sexual responses. For instance, as soon as I learn to "fly," I cease having interest in men or in sex. I find, at age 28, I have sexual urges only once a month. I assume I am in touch with my natural cycles, and feel very proud of my spiritual evolution. I also have heard about one married woman, after she learned the TM-Sidhis, still enjoyed cuddling, but she recoiled from having sexual relations with her husband. Then, there is the 27-year old female friend of mine who confides to me that following the meditation/"flying" program, she sometimes finds herself so sexually aroused that she actually has to masturbate in the "flying" hall. Another single woman friend of mine on CCC became pregnant. (This must have taken a great deal of initiative, since the courses were sex-segregated.) (She went on to have an abortion.)
1981 MIU. Discussion amongst women about a women's rights club on campus. One woman says, condescendingly, "Those woman who talk about 'women's liberation'; well, we know what women's liberation is really about." We all nod smugly in agreement.
1981 Evolving men's consciousness in the Age of Enlightenment: I am chatting with a male course participant
who is on the construction crew. I say that I would love to learn construction. He says, "I don't think it's right for women to do construction, because then they get more muscled, and they're no longer so attractive to men." I've always regretted that I didn't ask him what he thought about the value of high income, aerobic exercise, fresh air, weight-bearing exercise, useful skills, etc. for women.
That's the end of my reminiscences. Now it's your turn!
Friday, February 20, 2009
"Unhooking" from TM Beliefs
If you have been reading TM-Free Blog for some time, then you are probably familiar with the theory that at TM residence courses, participants, by meditating many times a day, experienced reduced critical thinking ability which left them susceptible to having Maharishi’s beliefs installed into their minds without their consent. Many of us, myself included, returned home from these courses with new beliefs that we had not freely chosen.
In the “Comments” section of my TM-Free Blog essay “Post-Hypnotic Suggestion and Trance Logic,” published 2/06/09, Gina has wittily and brilliantly compiled a list of many of the beliefs she was taught by the TM movement. Since Maharishi’s teachings changed from week to week, each of us who spent time in the movement will have a different list. One technique that I have found helpful in “unhooking” from the TM movement is to make my own list, look at every item on it, decide whether I actually believe that item or not, and if I believe it only because Maharishi said it was true but I have no other reason for believing it, to consciously remove it from my beliefs, and to break the taboo and do it.
By doing this, I have discovered that, for me at least, all the beliefs are linked together in my brain. Therefore, as long as I believe and continue to obey even one proscription, I find myself reeled into the entire Maharishi belief system.
For example, when I first attempted to separate myself from the TM movement, I came up with two strategies: choosing a new mantra for myself, and meditating in the lying-down position. I thought that by meditating in this manner I had broken Maharishi’s hold over me. It was only when someone encouraged me to cease any sort of TM-related meditating for the sake of my recovery that I gave up my new and improved technique. When I gave it up, I discovered that even though I had changed two variables in the TM technique, I had still been meditating two times a day, 20 minutes each time, morning and evening, before breakfast and before dinner, on an empty stomach, starting with one half minute of silence and ending with two minutes of silence, and using the mantra in the exact way Maharishi had taught us.
It was only when I quit meditating all together, I realized just how thoroughly I still believed. I found myself fearfully thinking, “Oh no! I can’t give up meditating. It is my safety net, assuring me physical health, mental health, spiritual progress, support of nature and superiority to other people!” Stopping meditating all together helped me break the pull of those beliefs. And when I stopped meditating, I felt as if a weight of grief had been lifted from my shoulders.
I have also discovered that, for myself at least, it is important for the sake of my recovery to unearth, question and reverse every single tiny little insignificant belief associated with TM. (I believe this is what Sudarsha, one of the contributing writers for TMFree, has referred to as "clawing ones way out of the Maheshistic belief system, one millimeter at a time.")
For instance, on my TM Teacher Training Course in La Antilla, Spain in 1974, Maharishi instructed us to never blow out candles, (specifically, candles used during TM initiation) but to fan them out with one’s hand. More than ten years after leaving TM, I realized that I was still fanning out candles. I believed that this was certainly an inconsequential rule, but I decided that for the sake of my recovery, I would stop fanning out candles as an experiment. So I blew out the next available candle, and to my surprise, I found fear and a number of beliefs parading through my mind: “Oh no! Blowing out that candle was a bad move! My life force goes out of my body when I blow out a candle! That weakens me! My life force is precious. It needs to be preserved. My body is a delicate vessel, especially since I have been spiritually purifying it all these years. Preserving the life force will lead to enlightenment. Therefore having sex is bad. Hmm, is this why I have been uncomfortable hugging my partner? Is this why I’ve been scared to have sex?”
It was amazing how many significant beliefs and behaviors were connected to that one minor proscription. So in the spirit of recovery, I am listing all the beliefs I can remember that I imbibed during my time in the TM organization between 1971 and 1981. Maybe they will remind you of beliefs you didn’t realize you still had. Or maybe they will inspire you to write up your own list. If you'd like, share your list in the “Comments” section. What have been your experiences with “unhooking” from the beliefs that Maharishi taught?
MY PERSONAL LIST OF TM BELIEFS
Ingesting:
Don’t eat: meat, poultry, fish, eggs, onions, garlic, mushrooms, peanuts, chocolate, coffee, tea, cooked honey, brown rice.
Eat lots of: nuts (especially almonds), fruits (especially oranges), milk products (especially yogurt), honey, white rice.
Don’t partake of cigarettes, alcohol, recreational drugs.
Do the TM “grace” before meals, silently, with eyes closed.
Meditating:
Never miss a meditation.
20 minutes each time.
Twice a day.
Don’t say the mantra aloud, or write it, or think it outside of meditation.
Don’t teach anyone except by the approved 7 steps.
Meditate in a sitting position.
Do not meditate when the stomach is full.
Meditate before breakfast and before dinner.
Don't meditate right before bed.
Start with ½ minute of silence, and end with 2 minutes of silence.
Put pets out of the room when you meditate – they will drain your energy.
All other meditation techniques are inferior- don’t do them.
Use the mantra in this manner: (well, you know what I mean).
TM is not a religion.
Hatha Yoga:
Lie down for the amount of time instructed before doing hatha yoga. (Specified time, taught on different courses, varied from 10 minutes to 30 minutes.)
Do the yoga postures that you were taught by the TM organization.
Do them in the order taught.
Do them for 10 to 20 seconds each.
Do them in the manner taught.
Do the yoga postures immediately before doing pranayama (yogic breathing exercises.)
Do pranayama the way it was taught in the TM organization, for the amount of time taught, and immediately before doing TM.
(Side note: I recently took a hatha yoga class. Boy, was I pleasantly surprised at how much benefit and pleasure I got from doing the postures the way my experienced yoga teacher taught them! We did postures that I didn't learn in TM, and we held them a lot longer than 20 seconds, and we did them in a different order, and she showed me better ways to do some of the postures that I had learned in TM. [I’d been doing at least one wrong for 20 years with no results.] Personally, I recommend taking a yoga class, or learning from a yoga book, or even practicing hatha yoga from a yoga magazine, to get unhooked from "TM asanas.")
Clothes:
Only wear natural fibers.
Don’t wear hand-me-downs.
Wear bright colors.
Women, cover up your arms and legs.
If Maharishi touches your coral bead necklace, he has "blessed" them.
Wearing the beads next to your skin will help your spiritual growth.
Don't let anyone touch the beads after Maharishi has touched them, or it will undo the blessing.
Dignified clothes are best.
Mental Health:
Psychotherapy is bad for you.
Don’t see a therapist.
To heal emotional problems:
- do TM
- go on residence courses
- do more asanas
- bath more frequently ("Psychological problems are caused by not bathing frequently enough." - Maharishi Mahesh Yogi)
- read the Ninth Mandala (Sama Veda) out loud.
Sex:
Sex is bad for you.
Having sex slows down spiritual growth.
One of the worst things you can do for your spiritual progress is to have sex if you're not married.
When you have sex, you exchange karma with your partner.
Only lifetime celibates can achieve immortality.
Don't have public displays of affection.
Miscellany:
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi is a supernormal person. He is not a person like you and me.
Women, stay in bed for the first three days of your menstrual cycle.
Don’t criticize, don’t gossip.
When you say curse words or dirty words, you create a demon.
That which you put your attention on grows stronger.
Many sidhas putting their attention on something causes results.
Social and political action is a waste of time.
Do not place on the floor any flowers that you will be offering.
Do not sniff flowers that you will be offering.
Sleep with your head facing east.
Be in bed by 10:00 p.m.
Oh yes, and fan out your candles – don’t blow them out.
In the “Comments” section of my TM-Free Blog essay “Post-Hypnotic Suggestion and Trance Logic,” published 2/06/09, Gina has wittily and brilliantly compiled a list of many of the beliefs she was taught by the TM movement. Since Maharishi’s teachings changed from week to week, each of us who spent time in the movement will have a different list. One technique that I have found helpful in “unhooking” from the TM movement is to make my own list, look at every item on it, decide whether I actually believe that item or not, and if I believe it only because Maharishi said it was true but I have no other reason for believing it, to consciously remove it from my beliefs, and to break the taboo and do it.
By doing this, I have discovered that, for me at least, all the beliefs are linked together in my brain. Therefore, as long as I believe and continue to obey even one proscription, I find myself reeled into the entire Maharishi belief system.
For example, when I first attempted to separate myself from the TM movement, I came up with two strategies: choosing a new mantra for myself, and meditating in the lying-down position. I thought that by meditating in this manner I had broken Maharishi’s hold over me. It was only when someone encouraged me to cease any sort of TM-related meditating for the sake of my recovery that I gave up my new and improved technique. When I gave it up, I discovered that even though I had changed two variables in the TM technique, I had still been meditating two times a day, 20 minutes each time, morning and evening, before breakfast and before dinner, on an empty stomach, starting with one half minute of silence and ending with two minutes of silence, and using the mantra in the exact way Maharishi had taught us.
It was only when I quit meditating all together, I realized just how thoroughly I still believed. I found myself fearfully thinking, “Oh no! I can’t give up meditating. It is my safety net, assuring me physical health, mental health, spiritual progress, support of nature and superiority to other people!” Stopping meditating all together helped me break the pull of those beliefs. And when I stopped meditating, I felt as if a weight of grief had been lifted from my shoulders.
I have also discovered that, for myself at least, it is important for the sake of my recovery to unearth, question and reverse every single tiny little insignificant belief associated with TM. (I believe this is what Sudarsha, one of the contributing writers for TMFree, has referred to as "clawing ones way out of the Maheshistic belief system, one millimeter at a time.")
For instance, on my TM Teacher Training Course in La Antilla, Spain in 1974, Maharishi instructed us to never blow out candles, (specifically, candles used during TM initiation) but to fan them out with one’s hand. More than ten years after leaving TM, I realized that I was still fanning out candles. I believed that this was certainly an inconsequential rule, but I decided that for the sake of my recovery, I would stop fanning out candles as an experiment. So I blew out the next available candle, and to my surprise, I found fear and a number of beliefs parading through my mind: “Oh no! Blowing out that candle was a bad move! My life force goes out of my body when I blow out a candle! That weakens me! My life force is precious. It needs to be preserved. My body is a delicate vessel, especially since I have been spiritually purifying it all these years. Preserving the life force will lead to enlightenment. Therefore having sex is bad. Hmm, is this why I have been uncomfortable hugging my partner? Is this why I’ve been scared to have sex?”
It was amazing how many significant beliefs and behaviors were connected to that one minor proscription. So in the spirit of recovery, I am listing all the beliefs I can remember that I imbibed during my time in the TM organization between 1971 and 1981. Maybe they will remind you of beliefs you didn’t realize you still had. Or maybe they will inspire you to write up your own list. If you'd like, share your list in the “Comments” section. What have been your experiences with “unhooking” from the beliefs that Maharishi taught?
MY PERSONAL LIST OF TM BELIEFS
Ingesting:
Don’t eat: meat, poultry, fish, eggs, onions, garlic, mushrooms, peanuts, chocolate, coffee, tea, cooked honey, brown rice.
Eat lots of: nuts (especially almonds), fruits (especially oranges), milk products (especially yogurt), honey, white rice.
Don’t partake of cigarettes, alcohol, recreational drugs.
Do the TM “grace” before meals, silently, with eyes closed.
Meditating:
Never miss a meditation.
20 minutes each time.
Twice a day.
Don’t say the mantra aloud, or write it, or think it outside of meditation.
Don’t teach anyone except by the approved 7 steps.
Meditate in a sitting position.
Do not meditate when the stomach is full.
Meditate before breakfast and before dinner.
Don't meditate right before bed.
Start with ½ minute of silence, and end with 2 minutes of silence.
Put pets out of the room when you meditate – they will drain your energy.
All other meditation techniques are inferior- don’t do them.
Use the mantra in this manner: (well, you know what I mean).
TM is not a religion.
Hatha Yoga:
Lie down for the amount of time instructed before doing hatha yoga. (Specified time, taught on different courses, varied from 10 minutes to 30 minutes.)
Do the yoga postures that you were taught by the TM organization.
Do them in the order taught.
Do them for 10 to 20 seconds each.
Do them in the manner taught.
Do the yoga postures immediately before doing pranayama (yogic breathing exercises.)
Do pranayama the way it was taught in the TM organization, for the amount of time taught, and immediately before doing TM.
(Side note: I recently took a hatha yoga class. Boy, was I pleasantly surprised at how much benefit and pleasure I got from doing the postures the way my experienced yoga teacher taught them! We did postures that I didn't learn in TM, and we held them a lot longer than 20 seconds, and we did them in a different order, and she showed me better ways to do some of the postures that I had learned in TM. [I’d been doing at least one wrong for 20 years with no results.] Personally, I recommend taking a yoga class, or learning from a yoga book, or even practicing hatha yoga from a yoga magazine, to get unhooked from "TM asanas.")
Clothes:
Only wear natural fibers.
Don’t wear hand-me-downs.
Wear bright colors.
Women, cover up your arms and legs.
If Maharishi touches your coral bead necklace, he has "blessed" them.
Wearing the beads next to your skin will help your spiritual growth.
Don't let anyone touch the beads after Maharishi has touched them, or it will undo the blessing.
Dignified clothes are best.
Mental Health:
Psychotherapy is bad for you.
Don’t see a therapist.
To heal emotional problems:
- do TM
- go on residence courses
- do more asanas
- bath more frequently ("Psychological problems are caused by not bathing frequently enough." - Maharishi Mahesh Yogi)
- read the Ninth Mandala (Sama Veda) out loud.
Sex:
Sex is bad for you.
Having sex slows down spiritual growth.
One of the worst things you can do for your spiritual progress is to have sex if you're not married.
When you have sex, you exchange karma with your partner.
Only lifetime celibates can achieve immortality.
Don't have public displays of affection.
Miscellany:
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi is a supernormal person. He is not a person like you and me.
Women, stay in bed for the first three days of your menstrual cycle.
Don’t criticize, don’t gossip.
When you say curse words or dirty words, you create a demon.
That which you put your attention on grows stronger.
Many sidhas putting their attention on something causes results.
Social and political action is a waste of time.
Do not place on the floor any flowers that you will be offering.
Do not sniff flowers that you will be offering.
Sleep with your head facing east.
Be in bed by 10:00 p.m.
Oh yes, and fan out your candles – don’t blow them out.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Book Review. The Maharishi: The Biography of the Man Who Brought Transcendental Meditation to the World by Paul Mason
(Oops! I accidentally deleted this post today. So here it is again. Originally posted 10/11/2008.)
Over the years, many commentors and contributors to TM-Free Blog have recommended books that they have found relevant. I have recently read a few of those books, and thought you all might enjoy some book reviews.
The Maharishi: The Biography of the Man Who Brought Transcendental Meditation to the World, a 300-page book written by Paul Mason and published by Element Books Ltd. in 1994, provides an overview of Maharishi's life from the mid-1950's to about 1993. When I read this book, I was reminded of the saying, "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, the chances are good that it is a duck." Maharishi comes across as a simple, straightforward, not-too-deeply thinking salesperson intent on selling his product.
The book is rather moderate in tone, with a slightly jaundiced undertone, neither adoring or damning of Maharishi. The author matter-of-factly quotes Maharishi's many contradictory statements, leaving the readers to draw their own conclusions.
Of the many points Paul Mason covered, I found three to be of particular interest. The first
was Maharishi's "utter...isolat[ion] from comtemporary faiths and teachings," (p. 83.) Maharishi taught that all other gurus and teachers were misguided, and that he alone had the truth. Mason quotes Maharishi's writings from an uncompleted commentary to the Bhagavad Gita as follows, "Thus we find that all fields of religion and philosophy have been misunderstood for many centuries past."
Second, Mason shows that Maharishi's original intent was to spread a spiritual knowledge. In fact, his first organization was called the Spiritual Regeneration Movement. Quotes from Maharishi's early days give insight into his original teachings. For instance, "Between human species and these [gods are the]...finest levels of creation, the celestial level of life, gods. Huge numbers of...angels and gods," (p.162). By the early 1970's, however, Maharishi was saying, "In this scientific age we use scientific language," and spiritually-loaded language disappeared (for instance "God" was replaced with the term "Creative Intelligence") and his organizations were incorporated as educational non-profits. (Some time after the book was published, Maharishi did return to his religious roots and speak about more "spiritual" matters.)
An example of Maharishi's early comfort with revealing the spiritual basis of his teachings is in his pamphlet Beacon Light of the Himilayas, published about 1955. He wrote, "We do not select any sound like mike, flower, table...etc. For our practice we select only the suitable mantras of personal Gods. Such mantras fetch us the grace of personal Gods...."
Which leads to my third point, which is the ease with which Maharishi dissembled about the mantras, leaving me to wonder what else he lied about. In his early days, Maharishi stated, "Through long practice of usages of these mantras for different types of people, certain universal formulae have been obtained and using those formulae of judgment the selection of a proper mantra is brought about...." "[Mantras] are passed on from the master to the disciple in every generation and this is the teaching that concerns very fine levels of the whole creation...." "The tradition of masters is the most authentic place to take these suitable thoughts from. Authenticity from the tradition is the only measure which will give us some confidence about the absolute suitability of the mantra...." "One percent unsuitable effect [from the wrong mantra] will become million times greater...." After pages of this, Mason dryly drops the fact that the mantras are chosen by age.
Actually, Maharishi was not consistent in what mantras he gave to TM teachers. On one Teacher Training Course, he gave out one set of mantras to be chosen by age, on another course a different set of mantras to be chosen by age, on a third course a set to be chosen by age and sex, and so on.
Mason also includes anecdotes that leave the reader wondering what stories lie behind them. For instance someone mentions in passing that "Maharishi converses with the Heirarchy." What is "the Heirarchy"? A stranger in an airport in Europe accosts Maharishi with, "You're a fraud!" What did he mean? Jerry Jarvis, the onetime president of Maharishi's Students' International Meditation Society says, "Using the sutras [in the TM-Sidhis technique] is a strain on the nervous sytem and some people flip out." What had he seen?
This is not a comprehensive biography. At least two things are missing: the private life of Maharishi, and his impact on the life of others. Regarding his private life, for instance, there is no mention of his attempt to lead the Ouspensky organization in Europe, his sexual relations with women on his staff, his heart attack and subsequent (non-ayurvedic) treatment by western medicine, or his contempt for those who put him on a pedastal. Regarding his impact on the lives of others, there is no mention of the hundreds, myself included, who uprooted themselves and moved to Fairfield, Iowa at his bequest, or the hundreds of people who gave years of their lives, thousands of dollars and sometimes their mental and physical health to Mahrishi's dream.
On the plus side, this is a quickly-moving, easy-to-read book for people looking for an introduction to the life, mind, and public face of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi from aproximately 1954 to 1993.
Over the years, many commentors and contributors to TM-Free Blog have recommended books that they have found relevant. I have recently read a few of those books, and thought you all might enjoy some book reviews.
The Maharishi: The Biography of the Man Who Brought Transcendental Meditation to the World, a 300-page book written by Paul Mason and published by Element Books Ltd. in 1994, provides an overview of Maharishi's life from the mid-1950's to about 1993. When I read this book, I was reminded of the saying, "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, the chances are good that it is a duck." Maharishi comes across as a simple, straightforward, not-too-deeply thinking salesperson intent on selling his product.
The book is rather moderate in tone, with a slightly jaundiced undertone, neither adoring or damning of Maharishi. The author matter-of-factly quotes Maharishi's many contradictory statements, leaving the readers to draw their own conclusions.
Of the many points Paul Mason covered, I found three to be of particular interest. The first
was Maharishi's "utter...isolat[ion] from comtemporary faiths and teachings," (p. 83.) Maharishi taught that all other gurus and teachers were misguided, and that he alone had the truth. Mason quotes Maharishi's writings from an uncompleted commentary to the Bhagavad Gita as follows, "Thus we find that all fields of religion and philosophy have been misunderstood for many centuries past."
Second, Mason shows that Maharishi's original intent was to spread a spiritual knowledge. In fact, his first organization was called the Spiritual Regeneration Movement. Quotes from Maharishi's early days give insight into his original teachings. For instance, "Between human species and these [gods are the]...finest levels of creation, the celestial level of life, gods. Huge numbers of...angels and gods," (p.162). By the early 1970's, however, Maharishi was saying, "In this scientific age we use scientific language," and spiritually-loaded language disappeared (for instance "God" was replaced with the term "Creative Intelligence") and his organizations were incorporated as educational non-profits. (Some time after the book was published, Maharishi did return to his religious roots and speak about more "spiritual" matters.)
An example of Maharishi's early comfort with revealing the spiritual basis of his teachings is in his pamphlet Beacon Light of the Himilayas, published about 1955. He wrote, "We do not select any sound like mike, flower, table...etc. For our practice we select only the suitable mantras of personal Gods. Such mantras fetch us the grace of personal Gods...."
Which leads to my third point, which is the ease with which Maharishi dissembled about the mantras, leaving me to wonder what else he lied about. In his early days, Maharishi stated, "Through long practice of usages of these mantras for different types of people, certain universal formulae have been obtained and using those formulae of judgment the selection of a proper mantra is brought about...." "[Mantras] are passed on from the master to the disciple in every generation and this is the teaching that concerns very fine levels of the whole creation...." "The tradition of masters is the most authentic place to take these suitable thoughts from. Authenticity from the tradition is the only measure which will give us some confidence about the absolute suitability of the mantra...." "One percent unsuitable effect [from the wrong mantra] will become million times greater...." After pages of this, Mason dryly drops the fact that the mantras are chosen by age.
Actually, Maharishi was not consistent in what mantras he gave to TM teachers. On one Teacher Training Course, he gave out one set of mantras to be chosen by age, on another course a different set of mantras to be chosen by age, on a third course a set to be chosen by age and sex, and so on.
Mason also includes anecdotes that leave the reader wondering what stories lie behind them. For instance someone mentions in passing that "Maharishi converses with the Heirarchy." What is "the Heirarchy"? A stranger in an airport in Europe accosts Maharishi with, "You're a fraud!" What did he mean? Jerry Jarvis, the onetime president of Maharishi's Students' International Meditation Society says, "Using the sutras [in the TM-Sidhis technique] is a strain on the nervous sytem and some people flip out." What had he seen?
This is not a comprehensive biography. At least two things are missing: the private life of Maharishi, and his impact on the life of others. Regarding his private life, for instance, there is no mention of his attempt to lead the Ouspensky organization in Europe, his sexual relations with women on his staff, his heart attack and subsequent (non-ayurvedic) treatment by western medicine, or his contempt for those who put him on a pedastal. Regarding his impact on the lives of others, there is no mention of the hundreds, myself included, who uprooted themselves and moved to Fairfield, Iowa at his bequest, or the hundreds of people who gave years of their lives, thousands of dollars and sometimes their mental and physical health to Mahrishi's dream.
On the plus side, this is a quickly-moving, easy-to-read book for people looking for an introduction to the life, mind, and public face of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi from aproximately 1954 to 1993.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Transcendental Meditation: No Place to Be Gay?
I recently received an email from a man who posted his personal TM story on the old trancenet.net site. "Mark" discovered there was no place in the TM movement for "what Nature made him."
His original TranceNet story follows, along with his most recent email to me.
It was a surprise and real pleasure to hear from Mark last week:
I know a number of stories that tend to show the TM Org as not gay-friendly. If people are interested, just ask in the comments below.
His original TranceNet story follows, along with his most recent email to me.
Should I tell you my story?
I mean I guess you are a very busy man and I appreciate the fact that you could not possibly handle all the requests for help that are sent to you. I will try to make it brief and to the point as I believe that my experience could be of value to people like me who maybe are trying to fit in and being abused by organisations like TM in the name of helping them to overcome [their] differences.
I am referring to being gay, John, and some people who would use organisations like TM to either find themselves or run away from [their] sexuality.
My story starts on the day I read Perfect Health by Deepak Chopra (more on him later!).
It was May of 1992 and I was a naive, sensitive and closeted gay person. I had no one to talk to about my sexuality and decided the only option was to suppress it. So anyway I read the book and was really interested in the technical side of Ayurveda. I had a real understanding of it and thought that this was what I wanted to do, not only learn more about it but maybe practice as well.
I rang the number on the back of the book for further information[.] I spoke to [a local TM teacher], and he said that the best thing to do was to come into the centre and have a consolation [sic, consultation]. I went along and was taken [a]back by his friendly, professional manner and of course his knowledge of Ayurveda which was what I really was after. After a brief talk he convinced me to learn TM as part of finding out more about Ayurveda (Maharishi Ayurveda, I had no idea there was any other sort).
That was the first deception... You must meditate to learn the most from Ayurveda.
My father had done TM many years ago to help control his anger and it worked (he no longer practices TM and I understand why!) and is still an angry man, but I digress.
So I knew that it was a technique to help reduce stress and had certainly never heard of other claimed benefits.
My group of six other people who started mediating together were are [sic] [an] odd sort of housewives, another gay person (as I later found out), managers and office workers. Of that group I know for sure that four including me no longer practice TM and never will again. So I started to meditate and from the first day I had the most amazing special affects [sic, effects] while meditating. I mean these were like out of body experiences the works! [The teacher] said that these were very special things but not to concentrate on the[m] too much and it all would settle down soon.
I[t] didn[']t. I started to have spontaneous transcending at my work (I was a printer working with dangerous machines!) and would have to stop working and sit down to rest during them. I was having up to 5 per day at one time.
The experiences, although felt wonderful, were not getting less, and I started to have psychic manifestations or maybe they were hallucinations? Anyway [my teacher] couldn[']t offer any real help or guidance but the usual rubbish (and I got the feeling that he had no idea what I was talking about).
My beloved aunt died that year and she came to me in the most moving experience I have every had during meditation (ghost?). It rocked me to my soul and all [my teacher] could say was, "Let[']s check your practice." I think he was scared of my experiences.
I put up with 12 months of on and off experiences but in no way was I getting enlightened. I was [losing] friends fast and my job wasn[']t looking too good either! I was putting pressure on friends to learn and family too. I must have been a real pain in the ass to my loved ones, but they are a[n] understanding lot, thank goodness!
It was when [my teacher] and his new wife went to Germany for a holiday that I started and did have my first break from TM.
I was living in [their] home, house sitting for them while they were away, and I had my first sexual experience with another man. It was a total disaster but [it] gave me a new understanding of my self and my sexuality and how I could incorporate into my medi[t]ation!
I was very excited and when [my teacher] came back from Germany I arranged a meeting with him on our usual group meeting night (being 7:30pm on Thursdays) we met at 7:00pm and by the time we went into the meeting with the others at 7:30pm I [k]new that I would be never coming back to TM again.
I sat throughout the meeting and didn[']t even talk the whole way through — my world was shattered. I went home that night and cried for 4 hours. A TM friend came around to comfort me and called [my teacher] who also came round, but by then it was too late I was out of TM.
What Bruce said to me that caused the death of part of me and the birth of another and sent me on my way to become free of TM forever was, "You can never become a[n] Ayurvedic doctor, you can never become a TM teacher, you can not be gay if you want to be involved with TM."
I must say coming from someone that I loved dearly (I really did love him, now I only pity him) sent me into a bit of a spin. His only correspondence to me (through a friend) was that, "Martin you are limiting yourself by choosing this lifestyle," but it fell on deaf ears. I was not going to listen to him.
In a way I was so happy to be free of TM, it was like a release from prison. You think that you[']ve got it made and then you see what[']s really outside and you think that you can never go back. Of course I was wrong.
My last contact with [my teacher] was at the meeting in which I learned the Primordial Sound Technique. I wanted to learn it for two main reasons, to meet Deepak Chopra and to experience (what I thought) was a[n] Ayurvedic technique.
I spent the $700 and had the personal consultation with Mr Chopra, which consisted of two [minutes] of pulse touching and mantra-giving (something like 'Trapus-vena'? can[']t really remember it clearly). Anyway I never did it once and it was a complete waste of $700 (of which I couldn[']t really afford to spend!) although the tape of Maharishi chanting (supposedly) is actually quit[e] good (boy was that the most expensive tape I ever bought!)
The brainwashing was deep but my sexuality was deeper. You can[']t fight nature. They always said so, who was I [to] argue, my sexuality was what nature made me.
The one thing that I resent was the loss of Ayurveda. It was my life and I just couldn[']t continue with it under Chopra.
I [now] understand that TM [doesn't] own Ayurveda or, in fact. meditation — anymore than Christians own the words of Jesus. However with TM and my experience of Ayurveda being so linked I have a totally block now, and it is sad for me.
It was a surprise and real pleasure to hear from Mark last week:
When I look back at my story its amazing how my life has moved on[.] I am doing well and have a stable loving relationship and great job.
Just as a note from my story, around about 1999 I have a call out of the blue from my old TM teacher[.] [H]e asked if I remembered him and them went on to say he had felt guilty even after all those years after what he said to me, and that he himself is gay!
It’s amazing what people do to each other out of their own insecurities and inadequacies.
John I hope that are well and keep up the good work.
I know a number of stories that tend to show the TM Org as not gay-friendly. If people are interested, just ask in the comments below.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Program Pedophilia
Gina Catena, M.S.
What happened to some TM-children.
Being raised in the Movement, or any cult, differs from a convert's experience. Upon leaving the group, most therapists advise former cult members to rebuild life based upon their pre-cult persona. When a cult convert leaves the group, they can return to their former life locale, family or career. There is a pre-cult basis for life, and another paradigm from which to view the world.
Someone raised in a cult lacks a pre-cult persona. We normalized the group-think in all facets, because it's all we knew. If a cult-raised child leaves the group without family, the person lacks any foundation for adult life in the outside world.
There are many good people in the TMO. I have no criticism of the individuals. I criticize the leader's methods, and ensuing destructive group dynamics.
My entire life was based upon TM, as I was raised in the TMO from a young age.
Jim Jones Jr, formerly of Jonestown, has become a close friend. Decades after our respective cult upbringings, he and I share a similar worldview. We both agree that we were raised as-if in Disneyland. And we loved it! Then the Haunted House took over. We've both moved on, and are doing what we can to reach others through our twisted histories. Making lemonade where life gave us lemons (or Kool-Aid in JJ's case).
For a preview of a compassionate movie about a tragic history, click on the movie title, "Jonestown, the Life and Death of People's Temple."
My daughter was eleven when we left Fairfield. She was teary watching this movie, remembering her sweet idealistic childhood community, how she missed it when we moved away, and knowing loved ones' ensuing painful stories.
Maharishi twisted his Hindu tradition to his own ends, just as the Reverand Jim Jones (Sr.) twisted evangelical Christianity and social activism to his ends. Teachings do not define a "cult"; destructive behaviors define a cult.
While my mother was in Switzerland at Maharishi's feet with Susan, Sudarsha and Joseppi, I lived at MIU Santa Barbara and Fairfield as a teenager. No one had custody of me. Maharishi told my mother I was better off at MIU unsupervised. My mother's children would benefit from her prolonged "Rounding" to purify the family.
Many TM parents leave their children for months on end, while parents attend TTC or other advanced programs. Children are often left with a hodge podge of caretakers. Child-abandonment for enlightenment is deemed to magically benefit the entire family. These are typical cult dynamics - the higher mission, as defined by the charismatic leader (MMY) supersedes all else.
Does statutory rape, as often occurs with TM young girls while parents are in Program, count as a family "benefit" or "side effect" to familial devotion with TM?
Of course, such occurences are blamed upon the girl's negative karma, and the ignorance or stress (release?) of the perpetrators.
A decade later, my six-year-old daughter did not want to go to "Laurie's house" (not her real name), she initially wouldn't say why. Finally she relented as to her reasons, "The man who lives there likes to pull down our pants and look at our bottoms."
I spoke with mothers of other little girls with whom he played. The other mothers denied there was a concern, saying he played an innocent game with little girls, pulling down their panties and tickling their six year old bottoms. This "Governor" stayed home from group program, providing childcare free of charge for other TM parents while they meditated for hours daily. Other mothers accused me of over reacting.
The police said without others to come forth and lacking physical evidence of damage to my child, there was nothing to be done. My children never went to that house again.
Such occurences generally are not reported, lest the victim(s) would be denied admission to the TM Sidhi program or to Maharishi School of the Age of Enlightenment (MSAE).
One lovely young girl in elementary school was refused admittance to Maharishi School of the Age of Enlightenment (MSAE), after thorough interogation before an all male board of well-suited MSAE faculty. They interogated her in detail about a prior childhood sexual molestation. Her mother's presence was forbidden for this unique "admissions interview," as the interview board wanted an objective evaluation of the child. The panel asked detailed questions and listened attentively to her history. Of course, none of the interview panel were child therapists, as Maharishi abhors therapy. After this grueling voyeristic experience, the child was denied admitance to MSAE as "her impurity would taint the rest of the student body." She said that experience of blame-the-victim was more traumatic than was the original sexual molestation.
When I was grown, the few adults close to the children were generally aware of incest, sexual abuse, and drug abuse. Children did not complain or press charges because they did not want to come forth against all that they loved. They didn't discuss this until their late teens or beyond. By then they were too old for "Child Protective Services" or police involvement. Many later said, "Gina, why do you think I used to hide at your house when I was young? We were safe in your house." I will not name them, at their request.
One story on trancenet, by an anonymous contributer, details personal abuses of a TM-child. I do not know this young woman. Her story is familiar. From my life and the next genearation of TM-kids-now-adults coming through my home on a regular basis, I safely vouch for the veracity of her experience. She is courageous to come forth on trancenet. The settings and social dynamics she described are familiar.
"Annie's Story" can be read here.
This IS the TMO at work where many families are concerned. There are many instances of sexual, physical, drug abuse and neglected children as parents pursued enlightenment. The numbers are too high for coincidence. The parents are, by and large, well intentioned under-the-influence, True Believers.
As "Annie" vividly described on trancenet, as children, we didn't know what was wrong. The perpetrators were family loved ones. We trusted and thought it was normal. Parents validated that we were in good care. We learned to trust the untrustworthy.
The next generation of grown children (my generation is only a few) and I do not take legal action because we wanted to move on. I only recently, accidently, learned that professionals are interested in my life story. Go figger! After years of silence.
My parents, as early TMers, did the best they knew. They were/are caring True Believers (TBs). Like the rest of the TM-family, they converse in circuitous conversation with all good returning to MMY's teachings.
Not everyone had tragic experiences. However, neglected children's stories should not be denied.
Devotees tell me, "Things are changing for the families now. Administration tells parents to stay home from Program if their child has more than two problem incidents."
Why must parents be instructed to be present for their children?
Why wait until after trouble occurs?
Why is child-trouble so commonplace, that TM administration creates a policy around the issue?
What created the follower-mentality?
Sometimes it is hard to distinguish the effect of TM-the-technique from TM-the-organization. For practical purposes, they are one and the same, just different places along the cult-addiction spectrum.
If you are among the silent next-generation, know that you are not alone. Your parents meant well, as did the majority of your community!
There are night clubs in each major US City where TM-kids-now-adults meet. The 20-something kids know which clubs to find one another for support (sorry, I don't know the clubs). The connection between the cult-kids is strong. Memories of the cult/community' trusting naivete, the connection and idealism, continue to bond. Molested kids remain silent to preserve their "family connection.' They understand that their abuse resulted from dysfunctional group dynamics (brainwashing), not from their parents' willful neglect. The silence comes at what cost? Even my 25 y.o. son (was 5 y.o. when left FF), has limited memories of our FF daze, says when meeting another TM-raised young adult that he feels an instant connection which he describes as, "I feel your pain."
Our close community was wonderful in many ways! We will never find a community so entwined. I will always miss it. We relinquished something sweet by leaving. We also relinquished controlling judgements and shrouds of secrecy. For those who were hurt, your memories are real. The betrayal is real. You CAN move forward!
Strength, compassion and personal self-direction are positive after affects for which we can be grateful.
What happened to some TM-children.
Being raised in the Movement, or any cult, differs from a convert's experience. Upon leaving the group, most therapists advise former cult members to rebuild life based upon their pre-cult persona. When a cult convert leaves the group, they can return to their former life locale, family or career. There is a pre-cult basis for life, and another paradigm from which to view the world.
Someone raised in a cult lacks a pre-cult persona. We normalized the group-think in all facets, because it's all we knew. If a cult-raised child leaves the group without family, the person lacks any foundation for adult life in the outside world.
There are many good people in the TMO. I have no criticism of the individuals. I criticize the leader's methods, and ensuing destructive group dynamics.
My entire life was based upon TM, as I was raised in the TMO from a young age.
Jim Jones Jr, formerly of Jonestown, has become a close friend. Decades after our respective cult upbringings, he and I share a similar worldview. We both agree that we were raised as-if in Disneyland. And we loved it! Then the Haunted House took over. We've both moved on, and are doing what we can to reach others through our twisted histories. Making lemonade where life gave us lemons (or Kool-Aid in JJ's case).
For a preview of a compassionate movie about a tragic history, click on the movie title, "Jonestown, the Life and Death of People's Temple."
My daughter was eleven when we left Fairfield. She was teary watching this movie, remembering her sweet idealistic childhood community, how she missed it when we moved away, and knowing loved ones' ensuing painful stories.
Maharishi twisted his Hindu tradition to his own ends, just as the Reverand Jim Jones (Sr.) twisted evangelical Christianity and social activism to his ends. Teachings do not define a "cult"; destructive behaviors define a cult.
While my mother was in Switzerland at Maharishi's feet with Susan, Sudarsha and Joseppi, I lived at MIU Santa Barbara and Fairfield as a teenager. No one had custody of me. Maharishi told my mother I was better off at MIU unsupervised. My mother's children would benefit from her prolonged "Rounding" to purify the family.
Many TM parents leave their children for months on end, while parents attend TTC or other advanced programs. Children are often left with a hodge podge of caretakers. Child-abandonment for enlightenment is deemed to magically benefit the entire family. These are typical cult dynamics - the higher mission, as defined by the charismatic leader (MMY) supersedes all else.
Does statutory rape, as often occurs with TM young girls while parents are in Program, count as a family "benefit" or "side effect" to familial devotion with TM?
Of course, such occurences are blamed upon the girl's negative karma, and the ignorance or stress (release?) of the perpetrators.
A decade later, my six-year-old daughter did not want to go to "Laurie's house" (not her real name), she initially wouldn't say why. Finally she relented as to her reasons, "The man who lives there likes to pull down our pants and look at our bottoms."
I spoke with mothers of other little girls with whom he played. The other mothers denied there was a concern, saying he played an innocent game with little girls, pulling down their panties and tickling their six year old bottoms. This "Governor" stayed home from group program, providing childcare free of charge for other TM parents while they meditated for hours daily. Other mothers accused me of over reacting.
The police said without others to come forth and lacking physical evidence of damage to my child, there was nothing to be done. My children never went to that house again.
Such occurences generally are not reported, lest the victim(s) would be denied admission to the TM Sidhi program or to Maharishi School of the Age of Enlightenment (MSAE).
One lovely young girl in elementary school was refused admittance to Maharishi School of the Age of Enlightenment (MSAE), after thorough interogation before an all male board of well-suited MSAE faculty. They interogated her in detail about a prior childhood sexual molestation. Her mother's presence was forbidden for this unique "admissions interview," as the interview board wanted an objective evaluation of the child. The panel asked detailed questions and listened attentively to her history. Of course, none of the interview panel were child therapists, as Maharishi abhors therapy. After this grueling voyeristic experience, the child was denied admitance to MSAE as "her impurity would taint the rest of the student body." She said that experience of blame-the-victim was more traumatic than was the original sexual molestation.
When I was grown, the few adults close to the children were generally aware of incest, sexual abuse, and drug abuse. Children did not complain or press charges because they did not want to come forth against all that they loved. They didn't discuss this until their late teens or beyond. By then they were too old for "Child Protective Services" or police involvement. Many later said, "Gina, why do you think I used to hide at your house when I was young? We were safe in your house." I will not name them, at their request.
One story on trancenet, by an anonymous contributer, details personal abuses of a TM-child. I do not know this young woman. Her story is familiar. From my life and the next genearation of TM-kids-now-adults coming through my home on a regular basis, I safely vouch for the veracity of her experience. She is courageous to come forth on trancenet. The settings and social dynamics she described are familiar.
"Annie's Story" can be read here.
This IS the TMO at work where many families are concerned. There are many instances of sexual, physical, drug abuse and neglected children as parents pursued enlightenment. The numbers are too high for coincidence. The parents are, by and large, well intentioned under-the-influence, True Believers.
As "Annie" vividly described on trancenet, as children, we didn't know what was wrong. The perpetrators were family loved ones. We trusted and thought it was normal. Parents validated that we were in good care. We learned to trust the untrustworthy.
The next generation of grown children (my generation is only a few) and I do not take legal action because we wanted to move on. I only recently, accidently, learned that professionals are interested in my life story. Go figger! After years of silence.
My parents, as early TMers, did the best they knew. They were/are caring True Believers (TBs). Like the rest of the TM-family, they converse in circuitous conversation with all good returning to MMY's teachings.
Not everyone had tragic experiences. However, neglected children's stories should not be denied.
Devotees tell me, "Things are changing for the families now. Administration tells parents to stay home from Program if their child has more than two problem incidents."
Why must parents be instructed to be present for their children?
Why wait until after trouble occurs?
Why is child-trouble so commonplace, that TM administration creates a policy around the issue?
What created the follower-mentality?
Sometimes it is hard to distinguish the effect of TM-the-technique from TM-the-organization. For practical purposes, they are one and the same, just different places along the cult-addiction spectrum.
If you are among the silent next-generation, know that you are not alone. Your parents meant well, as did the majority of your community!
There are night clubs in each major US City where TM-kids-now-adults meet. The 20-something kids know which clubs to find one another for support (sorry, I don't know the clubs). The connection between the cult-kids is strong. Memories of the cult/community' trusting naivete, the connection and idealism, continue to bond. Molested kids remain silent to preserve their "family connection.' They understand that their abuse resulted from dysfunctional group dynamics (brainwashing), not from their parents' willful neglect. The silence comes at what cost? Even my 25 y.o. son (was 5 y.o. when left FF), has limited memories of our FF daze, says when meeting another TM-raised young adult that he feels an instant connection which he describes as, "I feel your pain."
Our close community was wonderful in many ways! We will never find a community so entwined. I will always miss it. We relinquished something sweet by leaving. We also relinquished controlling judgements and shrouds of secrecy. For those who were hurt, your memories are real. The betrayal is real. You CAN move forward!
Strength, compassion and personal self-direction are positive after affects for which we can be grateful.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Sex & the Single Guru [REALLY Long] revised
In support of Joseppi's personal story about the Maharishi's trashing of his vows of celibacy, below we repost a file from the Yahoo Group, Fairfield Life.
In a BBC Interview in 1969 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/audiointerviews/profilepages/maharishi1.shtml), Maharishi said he took vows to renounce worldly life because that was the traditional understanding he came from, but that he has since discovered that spiritual life does not require giving up worldly life, only that one meditates regularly, morning and evening. He apparently applied this discovery to his own life, as there is ample evidence that throughout most of 1960’s and early 1970’s, he was sexually active with a number of young women, while still proclaiming publicly that he was a life celibate. The following is a compilation of information regarding these sexual activities. Some of these accounts come directly from one of the women involved. Others come from men who served as Maharishi’s personal secretaries, and who often escorted women to and from his room late at night. Excerpts from email conversations between former personal secretaries Rob McCutchean, Ned Wynn, and Casey Coleman, are sprinkled throughout the following text. The full text of these emails is included at the end of this document. Still other accounts come second or even third hand from people who spoke with one or another of the women, or a friend of one of them. Any one of these latter accounts, in isolation, could easily be dismissed, but taken together, from different times and places, they tend to reinforce each other. An attempt has been made to put this information in chronological order. Reportedly, two of the women (Jennifer and "Amy") are collaborating on a book, which they intend to publish after Maharishi dies.
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The earliest account comes from the end of Chapter 13 of the book "Call No Man Master," by Joyce Collin-Smith, which can be downloaded for free from http://www.isleofavalon.co.uk/joyce.html. The section on MMY starts with Chapter 9 and the whole book is an interesting read. The time frame referred to in the last paragraph of the following excerpt is the early 1960’s, soon after MMY came to England, during which the author was his personal assistant:
"Around this time something came out in the news that was completely astonishing to me. Lennon suddenly denounced Maharishi in a press conference in the USA, partly on the grounds that he apparently had a considerable sex life.
"There was a big hullabaloo about him trying to rape Mia Farrow and a few other women, and things like that", he said. "We stayed up all night discussing, was it true or not? We went to see Maharishi, the whole gang of us, the next day. I was the spokesman. I said: "We're leaving." He gave me a look like: 'I'll kill you, you bastard'. I knew then, because he gave me such a look, I had called his bluff."
Although there is a tradition of religious eroticism in India, Maharishi came from a celibate line of spiritual brothers, who deny the body and have few physical needs. When we first knew him he ate little, slept little, wore little clothing against the cold, had few possessions. He seemed all Spirit, all Light. I don't think any of us who were around him then and looked after him, ever associated him in our minds with sexuality. He did not touch us, we did not touch him. He was as unsexy as a young child.
Yet, once the gossip began, some of us started to cast our minds back, and to see for the first time the significance of a period when he first began locking his door in the afternoons, closeted alone with one young woman or another. Although the hypnotic influence seemed to have kept us unaware of what was going on at the time - we thought him to be giving 'special tuition' to chosen devotees - we now realized something different. There was a certain wide-eyed, fair-skinned type of girl to whom the dark-skinned Indian is frequently attracted. We now saw something he had intended to conceal. He had departed from the Holy Tradition of his Masters as worldly needs had gradually got a hold on him."
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From a businessman on the East Coast:
I have a friend in this area whose wife told my wife and me a story recently. She said her initiator, an English woman, with whom she was very close over a period of years, was with Maharishi in the early days and was acting as a personal assistant to him. She helped him with his personal things in his room, etc. Maharishi had her massage him and then asked her to massage him in a sexual way. I don't know more details since at the time when we were having dinner in a restaurant she didn't want to talk more about it. I really would like to get the more complete story, including the initiator’s name, which I heard but don't remember. I'd like to get all the facts straight. However she made it abundantly clear that she was positive that Maharishi got or attempted to get sexual with this woman, and that she had the utmost confidence that her initiator/friend told her the truth.
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Conny Larsson was MMY's secretary in the early 70's and later spent years with Sai Baba. Conny is Swedish; hence the funny grammar. Here is a letter he sent to his friend David, who became an initiator on an early Rishikesh course:
Dear David.
I have information about MMY of the kind that supports your exposé stories that are going around, but I have promised the lady that you even know well to be silent until she has decided how to handle her situation since she already has been targeted out by the TM-organization and also slandered by the groups around the expose of MMY.
She was for very long a close partner to MMY in all ways but loved him immensely and does not want to hurt him now when he is so old. He will of course not live so many years more and she is therefore writing her book to told as a first hand story. This will be given out after MMY has left his body, till then she is silent.
I myself was so very stupid and innocent in the beginning of me being an MMY-secretary or skin boy, but I couldn't miss wondering since I was the night boy all the girls that came when I was finished with the massage at around 2-3.00 in the morning.
He then used to call one girl every now and then and I always thought he was dictating a letter or something in the middle of the night. The girls that came last in the night never looked happy when she came out from the 30 minutes audience but never thought of it to be a pleasure or sexual meeting.
Knowing what I now know I feel just embarrassed that my Master didn't stand up for his sexual lust or love to women. That would have been perfectly OK with me anyhow. But to hide and lie and create an M-group that I and many other boy belonged to was just a soap opera I now think.
Jemima Pitman knew it all the time, but she was so in love with a [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] Professor and MMY let this pass just in front of his eyes without doing anything even if the professor was married and had children.
In service and duty
Conny
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Another one from Conny
Dear David!
Regarding MMY's guilt, he is all aware of it, for one day after a great f**k on the roof of his villa under the moonlight and in the protection of the mosquito-net he called for Tatwalababa, the naked yogi, for his protection and for his cleansing of the ashram, this was what he explained to the lady he f**ked with. They loved each other for years. Look at the group-picture from one of your photos which MMY did in Rishikesh when you where there, you are in the picture and so are MMY and the women he loved and f**ked with for several years.
So he knows and what he does with peoples' money is not of any interest to me.
Everything will come out in the end of this year or in the beginning of next year when my book is published, it is in two parts and the first part is only missing one chapter right now. It’s done in a month or so. 400 pages in each. but it has already hit Sweden since I have read some part of it on the Radio. You see in Sweden today I'm a well-known man even if I'm not that loved as I wanted to be, due to my uttermost frankness. I can't stand lies and I can't let people step on the poor or weak, and Jesus, that gives me enemies from high and low, but I don't care since I don't need them for my survival.
Well dear friend, write me soon again, I'm very happy to have connected again.
Love
Conny
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Most of us first heard of MMY's alleged sexual interests in the Rolling Stone interview with John Lennon in the spring of 1970. John's friend 'Magic Alex' had heard rumors about Maharishi, and convinced John that he was going around propositioning all the young ladies, and was only interested in the Beatles for their money. When they questioned him about it, he feigned innocence and asked them why they were leaving, to which John replied: "If you're so cosmic, you'll know why." He later recalled that: "There was this big hullabaloo about him trying to rape Mia Farrow or somebody and trying to get off with a few other woman and things like that. We went to see him after we stayed up all night discussing whether it was true or not. When George started thinking it might be true, I thought well, it must be true; because if George started thinking it might be true there must be something in it." TM loyalists concluded that Lennon was unstressing and that Mia Farrow misinterpreted whatever it was MMY did. In her book "A Twist of Lennon," Cynthia Lennon defended Maharishi, saying that Magic Alex had made up the story to try to get the Beatles away from Maharishi. The book "Beyond Gurus," by Nancy Cooke de Herrera offered a similar theory.
Here is Ned Wynn's account (Ned was MMY’s personal secretary in Mallorca):
Yes, I had direct contact with Mia and a very clear and direct conversation with her regarding MMY's advances. She told me (and Nini White Winquist) that MMY got her alone in his pad at Rishikesh, put his arms around her and tried to get her to lie down with him. She was confused for about three seconds then she jumped up, ran out, told Paul and John and some other people, then she took off for Goa. She said that MMY had her followed for weeks by some of his brahmacharis. She was actually scared of them. She said it was clear he wanted her to engage in sex with him. I didn't believe her at first because I had the proto-Fairfield disease. But clearly, she was telling me the truth. After all, this was the chick that married Frank Sinatra. Like, she didn't know when some guy was making a move? Duh!
Ned
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From a former member of the Purusha program:
It started like this: I was sitting after a retreat, and we were talking about the integrity of Gurus (or lack thereof), and I was saying that at least I was confident that my former Guru, MMY, was clean as far as sex goes. One woman challenged me, and said that she knew of a woman who could tell a different story. I asked her to tell me who that woman was; she said she could not, as that woman certainly did not want anyone to know a thing about it. I said, please can you contact that woman and ask her if she would talk to me, as this would be very important for me to know, having spent so many years with the assumption that my Guru was clean that way. She said she would call that woman and ask her.
After about an hour, a woman whom I had known well, and who had known very well about my involvement with Maharishi and my respect and love for him, came up to me and said, "I heard that you wanted to talk to me". I said I did not know what it was about, that I did not ask to talk to her. But then I understood, that this was the woman who had some experience with Maharishi. I was very surprised, because she never told me that she knew Maharishi.
She was among a group of young college students who went to hear Maharishi when he came to Australia in the late sixties. It is possible that this is before the Beatles were involved, I don't know. Anyway, at one point Maharishi was flying somewhere with Divendra, to a different town, and he asked a few of them (all young girls, interestingly enough) to join him. Which they did, happily. He had given his talk there and flew back, with them in the plane. They then accompanied him to the hotel. At one point he turned to that woman and told her - "come, I'll give you my love". She was not sure what it meant, but she did not respond. She thought, "no, it could not be what I think it is". And she let it slide, dismissing any thoughts about it.
Although she did not consider herself a disciple of Maharishi, she went to hear him talk a year later. Again, after the lecture he invited her to come with him, and repeated his enigmatic offer. She said she was curious what he meant, and accompanied him to his room. She said he hugged her and kissed her - and that her thought at the time was that he did not know anything about women and very inexperienced. She said she felt very flattered - she was 19 or so - and confused. And she asked him, "but are you not a monk?" And he let go, and smiled, and said yes, I am a monk. I don't remember how the conversation continued between them.
However, she was very careful to say: 1. That nothing actually transpired (i.e., she never went to bed with him) 2. He was very gentle, he did not try to force her into anything.
She described his room with quite some detail, and I could satisfy myself that at least she was in his bedroom (with the Puja set and all that). As for how reliable she is, I have no idea.
I asked her why she wanted to be so secretive about it. She said, that she did not want to make people who innocently following him disillusioned about him. She said, that she would have never told me anything about it, had I not asked for it in the say that I did. I am not 100% sure what her motivations for hiding the story are, maybe there's more to it than she was willing to say. But anyway, you have it now.
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from Conny’s friend David:
Hello, working my way through it all. I intend trying to make contact with Linda W She gave an interview in 1977 with a South African newspaper of how MMY told her not to have hang-ups about sex and then screwed her. Young, attractive English girl at the time, probably 1970.
I think it would be a pity if the story only broke AFTER his death. Not necessary for punishment reasons but so he can deal with it in whatever way he wants. I really believe we need to deal with our secrets. It is part of growth. Also I think people who still devote their lives to TM and the Organization deserve the chance to rethink. I know of people who devoted most of their life to this. People who probably turned down the chances for a sexually fulfilled relationship or some glory in the outer world. This might have caused some hardship. I don't like the idea of people scrimping and saving to do expensive courses and yagyas and have the fun channeled into folly, fantasy and family members.
My own position is really clear to me. I had a wonderful time around him and enjoyed him and his teachings. I feel no need personally to bring him down. My memories are all positive. I quit before things turned really sour. Thus I have benefited from my contact with him and feel warm to him because of that. I hold precious many experiences that came from my TM meditations. Thus I take a very neutral position in this debate. Except I would love to know WHY! Though I doubt whether he will ever openly and fully discuss it. As the Beatles said, as far as sexual things went, it appears true he was just a man.
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Jennifer’s story:
At the end of TTC (the 1st course in Majorca) MMY asked Jennifer, Jennifer's brother and about 5 others to go to England to give TM intros. After their time in England MMY asked them to return to Spain. They did so for a short while, at which time Jennifer's brother returned to the U.S. to the west coast.
MMY asked Jennifer to stay in Europe. She did, not knowing what MMY had in mind. Several of MMY's staff, including Jennifer and MMY, were on an outing in a car. They stopped for lunch. Jennifer didn't go in to the restaurant and MMY decided not to go in also.
While outside MMY was talking to her and by the look he was giving her, it was "obvious" to Jennifer what he wanted. She fell under his spell, and so the affair began.
It lasted for at least a couple of weeks. While it was going on, "Amy" and April approached Jennifer, for they saw what was happening, and told Jennifer that she would be just one of numerous women that MMY had already had. This caused Jennifer to flee.
She said that one night while leaving MMY's room Devendra saw her and shook his head, suspecting what was going on. This would explain why he went back to India before MMY went to Switzerland.
MMY gave her "a lot" of money, all in Spanish currency, in hopes of keeping her from leaving. She said Jerry Jarvis delivered the package of money to her. She said, "He was really 'pissed' at having to do it".
She went to Switzerland, fleeing from MMY's people who were looking for her. Here she called her brother in the TM center in Oregon. She was crying, explaining some details of the affair with MMY.
Here are some recent comments from Jennifer:
Someone asked: "How can a man around whom women must not show an inch of skin, for whom celibacy is such a core espoused value, and about whom Larry Domash once said that he never thinks for even one moment about anything other than helping the world, fall into such a pit?"
Jennifer responded:
The thing I find interesting about his whole discussion are the allegations that "Amy" and I might be lying. Actually if you read the stories carefully, what the men knew is all that they should have known-they got me from my room-MMY asked for me. I have not told any story yet. I did talk to Ned, but his memory is not complete. Jane, his former wife, was very dear to me. I have no incentive to lie. In fact, my brother and his wife were just coming to Spain to join the MMY insiders when I decided to run away. I had to call them and tell them what had happened and why I needed to leave. April, who helped me leave the course, was sent home when MMY found out she gave me money to leave and drove me to the airport. She later died in a plane crash with Joe Clarke and someone else when they were looking for property for the University. The phone calls from MMY to me in Switzerland were overheard by a number of people and interestingly, I posed the question to MMY that he poses in his email: "How can a man around whom women must not show an inch of skin, for whom celibacy is such a core espoused value, and about whom Larry Domash once said that he never thinks for even one moment about anything other than helping the world, fall into such a pit?" Only not in the exact same words, of course.
Someone asked:
How did MMY answer this question? Do you feel that MMY ever did any real soul searching over his behavior?
Jennifer responded:
Yes he did-earlier. A young man died on our course in Mallorca. I recall that he was mentally challenged and on the course with his mother. One morning he was found dead down on the rocks near the ocean. MMY was distraught and told me that he thought this happened because of his karma and because of his wrong conduct. In the phone call he was just upset and begging me to return.
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From an old-time TM teacher:
I remember when she (Jennifer) showed up at Humboldt '72 with the intent of exposing MMY's sex escapades with her but then quickly left without having done so. I had long wondered where she went after that. She was pretty, bright, and clearly very capable, and I don't know how I would have reacted to details on MMY and sex then because she was someone who, to me at least, had credibility. When she suddenly left without confronting anyone we were able to sweep it under the rug.
I did not see her at Humboldt '72, but I have maintained a very clear memory since then of being told by one of my TTC friends when I arrived at Humboldt (Jennifer had been on our TTC) that Jennifer was there with the intent of confronting those on the course with details of sexual experiences with MMY. I recall that the person who told me surmised that she must have joined a fundamentalist Christian group, but that possibility seemed to me wholly outside of her character. I suppose I might so clearly remember being told about this both because the information was so incongruous with my image of MMY and because, as I indicated before, Jennifer was someone who I considered a pretty straight arrow. Like many (if not all) TTC courses, ours had many participants with loose screws (I recall one guy we called "Orangeman" because he ate only oranges), but no one who I knew would have so characterized Jennifer. I don't know how widespread the knowledge was at Humboldt of her intentions, and my recollection is that she left so quickly that we just settled into the rounding and the course that nothing came of it. (The big news coming out of that course was the increase of the course fee to $75 for students and $125 for adults, which we fought mightily at Jerry's urging until Jerry told us to stop.) Perhaps someone did confront and frighten her there, and that's why she left. When she never again showed up at any ATR I maintained some question in the back of my mind as to whether she might actually have left the movement because she had been sexually involved with MMY, but that didn't come up again until '78 or '79, when there was a sudden flurry of talk about her and others, some of which even included speculation that MMY might also have been, or at least tried to be, involved with April Clemons before she and (East Coast Regional Coordinator) Joe (Clarke) died in the plane crash with Ron M. Years ago I thought about contacting April's brother Tommy to learn whether he knew about any of this, but never did and have no idea where he is now.
You aren't the first to wonder whether MMY had some role in the plane crash, although that always has seemed a stretch. Your information that April assisted Jennifer and thus must have known about her and MMY is interesting. My recollection is that April had been with MMY in Fiuggi when she came back to the States and went with Joe to NC to view the land. I think she may actually have left at that time with some bad feelings -- at least I have some faint memory to that effect. Anyway, Joe and April had become an item by then, although perhaps not publicly. Charlie (Donahue), who was then Midwest Regional Coordinator, was supposed to meet Joe in Boston a week or two after the NC trip to go to the Cape for a weekend visit (I think Joe's family had a house on the Cape). That did not happen due to Joe's death. (I was with Charlie when Joe died -- needless to say, he could not have been more upset). In '78-'79 when the MMY & sex stuff arose with some force, Charlie recalled that Joe had called him shortly before the NC trip saying that he had learned something very troubling that he had to talk about with Charlie, and my recollection is that it was something that April had told Joe. Joe said it was very big, and they decided to put off discussing it until they met up on the Cape. Charlie theorized that perhaps Joe had been intending to tell him that he had learned from April that MMY had been sexually involved with women. At the time, the whole thing was troubling to many of us, including Charlie. I know that he has no interest in it at all now, however, having contacted him with the "skin boys" dialogue that has been reproduced on FFL. I think I can fairly say that he considers it irrelevant to MMY's importance as a spiritual master. As to whether the legalities would change after MMY dies, I would think whatever flimsy basis there might be for a lawsuit before he dies would die with him.
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From another old-timer:
Here is what I heard in the late 70's from a TM teacher who had originally worked at the Cambridge Center, then in Manhattan and was part of Charlie and Mark Lerner's etc. crowd. He told me that April called someone she was close to (probably Charlie?) at the Cambridge Center after she had arrived in N Carolina. She was with Joe and sounded hysterical. She said she had some very upsetting news about MMY and would not discuss any more on the phone. She said that as soon as she and Joe finished looking for land in N Carolina they would come to Boston and explain it all. I am not clear about this part but my memory was that she and Joe then got on the airplane and it crashed, I just don't know if there was a space of a few days between the phone call and the crash, or whether it happened immediately after the call.
When I heard this story, my hair literally stood on end. I asked the person if he thought the crash was some cosmic intention of MMY's and he said he did not know what to believe. However, this person did stay involved in the TMO for many years more.
Also, this conversation I had with him was in the context of my telling him about the rumors of sexual misconduct that I had heard via Chuckie Blitz. After I explained what I had heard, my friend said he had heard them too, and then proceeded to tell me the story of April.
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From Billy Clayton. (Maharishi's former secretary):
Maharishi was spending a lot of time with Jennifer; she spent a couple hours every morning in his room "reading him his mail," though sometimes there wasn't any mail or very little. Maharishi was buying clothes for her and suggesting how she should dress. Once, when a man who had been her boyfriend came to visit the course (a wealthy guy who came to give money), Maharishi was very grumpy, and after taking the gift, dismissed the man abruptly. A few nights later, with an urgent question for MMY, Billy and his fellow secretary knocked on Maharishi's door. They heard a noise, and since they were used to walking into M's room, they tried to open the door and go in but Maharishi jumped up and blocked it with his foot. They didn't claim to have seen the linga in the yoni but it was clear that Maharishi was not fully dressed. Apparently, he had just grabbed his dhoti and jumped up when he realized they were coming in. He told them to come back later. At the time neither of them really opened their eyes to what was going on and they didn't discuss it. In fact, they never discussed it.
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From Robert McCutchean: (Maharishi's former secretary)
Ned, you are spot-on in what you say about Maharishi and the TM movement. My faith in Maharishi's supposed perfection dissipated when he got sexually involved with Jennifer. Then when she left him and went to hide out in Switzerland with Bev and Fran, I observed him reduced to the status of a quivering adolescent.
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From Ned Wynn
Jennifer and that other chick who was in love with the rich [nationality deleted at the request of individual involved] guy, "Amy". MMY was gaga over her and f*cked her for a while as well. I got a blow-by-blow description of all this from "Amy" (and Jennifer). [Sentence deleted due to a challenge to a sexual act made by an individual involved.]
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From Rob McCutcheon
Ned, I think you need to write to John and give him the blow-by-blow descriptions you got from Jennifer and "Amy". How can he believe MMY is perfect when he claims to be a lifelong celibate yet screwed young girls? And even though you might explain these sordid facts away by claiming that he was enlivening their Shakti or some such nonsense, nothing can explain away his adolescent angst and frantic attempts to convince Jennifer to come back. The movement came to a halt while he spent hours on the phone like a heartbroken teenager.
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From Casey Coleman (Maharishi's former secretary)
My memory on the dates is not good at all. I couldn't even tell you the year. But at one point I had the job of being the doorkeeper to MMY. I let everyone in to see MMY and was with him as long as he was awake. I couldn't do this job for long because I needed more sleep than he did. I do not remember how many times (but something like four or five) the very last thing at night or early in the morning (2am) when everyone was gone and it was just me and him, he would tell me to go get Jennifer to do the mail. I would then go get her, she would be sleeping and would get up and come with me in her robe and underwear (I just happened to notice that she didn't have PJ'S under the robe) then the two of us would go into the room to do the mail. But after a few minutes MMY would tell me I could go rest, which I was very happy to do. The thought of them having sex never came into my mind. I have never talked to Jennifer about it. I have only heard about it second hand from Ned, Rob and Billy. But then thinking back on it I wonder why I couldn't have seen the obvious. But here is something also interesting. Right at this time MMY got all fired up that woman should not cook for him, that woman cooking for him or even being in his kitchen was having some negative effect on him. So I think he was trying to find the reason for the desires that were showing up in him. Brother Casey
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From: Robert McCutchean
Certainly the sexcapades were part of it, and the hypocrisy, and the obvious attraction to money and elevation of those who had it, and the increasing paranoia/demonology, and the increasing bad taste of the names for increasing nutty programs, and the inflated and delusional claims to saving the world -- but you know what finally got me -- his cruelty to those who served him. I remember Angelika von Killischorn -- she was the first western brahmacharini just like I was the first Brahmachari, Casey second, and Ned would have been third except he had more sense than Casey or I. And one day MMY was getting ready to go somewhere, and A von K brought him a glass of water. And he took a big drink and then spit it all over her as if it were sulfuric acid. And then he told someone else to go get him water (from the same jug), and they brought it and he drank it, and I watched A von K die inside. Then I watched her deteriorate into madness -- she was somehow unworthy to bring the master water -- he had to spit it all over her. She may still be in a mental institution. And something in me said that an enlightened man should be able to drink a glass of water brought to him by anyone -- provided it wasn't sulfuric acid. And in that moment the seamless garment of MMY's perfection began to unravel. Bro Robert
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From Ned Wynn
Rob and I also were doorkeepers. Yes, we saw her go in late at night. April also went in late at night, but she never got the opportunity to tell anyone anything before the plane went down. I never put together the fact that Jennifer went in at night with anything sexual. I was totally blind to it. Now that I put it all together, Jennifer and "Amy" both would wander out of MMY's rooms at around 4:30 or 5 am (on different courses, of course, "Amy" was after Jennifer). What the hell were they doing up all night? Reading to him, of course, and taking dictation.
I was on at least three courses in Mallorca. I was at the very first course there, which would have started in early 1971, January, in fact. The last course I was on was in the summer of 1972. I was there the whole time except when I was sent to other countries to teach. When Jennifer left, Rob has hit it squarely. MMY was like a pimply-faced soul-sick geek. The whole floor was somber. Everyone was silent, looking around, worried, anxious. Jennifer is gone. Where is Jennifer? Where is Jennifer? Somebody will get her? Yes? Not here? But where she is?
I had no idea where she was. When Maharishi made these plaintive whines about her he would look at each of us as if we could produce her out of a hat. Or as if we had possibly conspired to help her (I did not, but some others may have had the guts to help her. I never knew that she was going. She was afraid to tell me, she said later, because she didn't know how deeply I was into the whole thing, and that I might tell MMY she was leaving and he would try and prevent her). Remember, MMY tried to get some of his monks to bring Mia Farrow back. They followed her practically to Goa!
Since I knew of two women first-hand, three if you count Mia, (who said that she never f*cked him), they cannot be the only three he ever screwed. I remember in Humboldt there was a stunning South American woman holding some flowers and waiting for MMY to come out of his room. Someone whispered to me that she was rumored to be an ex-girlfriend of his. That means that he was into this shit way before we came on the scene. This lady hadn't been around for years. As far as I am concerned, if there was a rumor like that it had to be true. But in Humboldt I just brushed it off as a rumor.
Ned
-------------------------
From Rob McCutcheon
During this period of time I also was the doorman. MMY ordered a number of expensive saris for Jennifer from India. He would have her dress up in them, and have her put on make up and come to his room late at night. Except that I did not get sent to bed. I had to wait outside the door until Jennifer left. She would appear rumpled and smeared. I also watched her mental state deteriorate. Clearly something bad was going on. Finally she snapped, and fled to Switzerland to hid out with Bev and Fran. When MMY found out she had left, he was beside himself. He would spend hours on the phone trying to coax her back. As I mentioned earlier, I also was the skin carrier in India. A similar scenario to the one Casey described with Jennifer took place with "Amy". When everyone had gone to bed, I would go get "Amy" so that she could "read poetry" to MMY. He would also have her dress up in fancy saris and paint her face. I was in a very strange state of mind about this. Ashok, the Indian boy with whom I was close, became contemptuous about MMY, but I somehow couldn't let the facts into my conscious mind. But I do remember how Ashok and I used to joke about the Poetry Girl in a ribald way that implied that more than poetry was being read. I never talked with "Amy" about this, but when I came to know what was going on with Jennifer I knew the same thing must have been true with "Amy", which Jennifer confirmed. I hope these sordid facts help you get some leverage on your present situation. Bro Robert
-------------------------
From Rob McCutcheon
"Amy" was in India the second course I was on. I was then the skin carrier, with a young Indian guy named Ashok. Every night after business was done, MMY would have Ashok and me go get "Amy" so she could "read him poetry" before bed. Ashok and I called her the poetry girl. Then, I was so naive that I tried to block out the obvious -- but when things came down with Jennifer, I knew the same had gone on with "Amy", but I never talked with her about it. I am glad to know you did, cuz it confirms what my intuition told me.
-------------------------
From Ned Wynn
One of the things that amazed me was the distaste with which Jennifer referred to her sex with MMY. She thought it was terrible, he was a shitty lover (of course) and she hated it but did it because well, she was Tom with tits, why else? As for "Amy", she was actually - she told me - in love with MMY. Actually infatuated love with him so she over-looked his premature ejaculations and his unwillingness to eat her maw maw. But he loved them [sexual act deleted, challenged by an individual involved] pretty damn much. He got worried she was too clingy (or he had another ho on the line waiting) so he arranged for the rich [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] guy to take her off his hands even though the [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] was a married man with kids. [Individual involved challenges the veracity of this description of the incident] MMY is one of the most immoral f*ckers I've ever known. He misuses his power in shockingly banal ways, kind of like an aging CEO with his secretaries. The guy has absolutely no style, no class. He's the classic backward Dravidian reactionary, sexually repressed, greedy, hypocritical, and a bald-faced liar.
Ned "Hey, 'Amy', [specific sexual practice deleted, challenged by individual involved]" Wynn
-------------------------
From Ned Wynn
This is the bare bones of what I know, personally, from both Jennifer and "Amy". This email was originally written to Rob so it may be a bit raw and flippant for you. But we (Rob, Casey, and I) are way past being amazed at this. I have known this for thirty years now. These girls told me (and Jane Goe, my former wife) these stories personally. Jennifer called us up and made it a point to come to our house and tell us this story. She was angry about it. She felt that she had been taken advantage of by MMY because of his power and the aura he had. Once the blinders were off she felt abused and cheated, as if she had been f*cked while in a stupor. "Amy"spent a week in our house. It was intimate. I have absolutely no reason to doubt them, though, when I was in your shoes, I doubted Mia Farrow who told me about MMY's overt sexual passes at her. I thought she was mistaken. I no longer believe that this stuff is untrue.
These things also happened, I believe (but have no first-hand knowledge) with April. And a South American woman who was around before we were. There are obviously a number of girls that he screwed that we know nothing about, and it went on for at least twenty years. Someone besides me has got to know this. Jerry, for one. the Australian girls, Bev and Fran. Devindra knew. Billy had to know.
-------------------------
From Ned Wynn
All the conversations with "Amy" (who stayed with Jane and me for a week in Santa Monica) and Jennifer (who lived in Santa Monica when she was first married, to a nice guy named Tim whom she later divorced) took place in our apartment on 19th Street in Santa Monica sometime in the early 70's. The girls were very explicit, there was no coy innuendo. They were forthright and anxious to tell it as it was definitely an unburdening to the only two people they apparently thought would give them a fair hearing and not be dismissive, etc. They did not sound like women who were making anything up or embellishing on a look they got or something. There was no doubting any of the substance of what they told me. These girls were not rumor-mongering or trying to self-aggrandize. they both had completely different points-of-view on Maharishi as I said in a previous email: Jennifer despised him, "Amy" loved him. They both f*cked him. I made sure to ask, did they actually have complete sex, they said yes, though it was less than thrilling to Jennifer.
Ned
-----------
The following is the full text of conversations between Rob McCutchean, Ned Wynn, and Casey Coleman, former personal secretaries of MMY, parts of which were excerpted above:
Thursday, August 29, 2002 6:27 AM
To: "Ned Wynn"
From: "Robert McCutchean"
Subject: Re: Hey
Ned, you are spot-on in what you say about Maharishi and the TM movement. My faith in Maharishi's supposed perfection dissipated when he got sexually involved with Jennifer. Then when she left him and went to hide out in Switzerland with Bev and Fran, I observed him reduced to the status of a quivering adolescent. Then followed a movement ever more dedicated to separating people according to how much money could be bilked from them. This reached its apogee with the recent one-month course that cost a cool million dollars. Poor people, no matter how pure and motivated, need not apply. MMY's personal failures and ever increasing avariciousness are now accompanied by political rants from the medieval ages. However, I shall always be grateful for learning to meditate, and for the opportunity to meet the wonderful seekers I did through the TM movement. Finally, I don't agree the earth was not made to house perfect men. It's just tough to be perfect in our imperfect (but evolving) world. Dr. Robert
-----------
Thursday, August 29, 2002 7:10 AM
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Hey
Jennifer and that other chick who was in love with the rich [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] guy, "Amy". MMY was gaga over her and f*cked her for a while as well. I got a blow-by-blow description of all this from "Amy" (and Jennifer).
I think the earth was made to house people who seek to perfect themselves (as well as to degrade themselves) but that when a person is as close as he can get, he leaves the earth. Of course, I am not a believer in the idea of bodhisattva, so I do not look for reincarnated holy men who may be perfect. I think the earth is a place to work it out and then hightail it to higher places.
You're right about John. He is trying desperately to reconcile two completely opposing systems in his own head. One is the system of madness ("King" Nader Raam, million-dollar courses on videotape, mad spewings that sound like they came from the anti-globalist Know-Nothings, etc. [which might be closer to cunning than madness, like much of fraud is]), the other of sanity (holiness). Where is the line? Is it OK for MMY to restrict the lessons of the spirit to the wealthy? Is this the lesson of Christ or Buddha? Or are the latter, as MMY has always implied, really some rungs down from himself?
Does this even make sense in the Darwinian concept of karma, which MMY cites when he dismisses the suffering of the world as nothing more than the soul in ignorance? The wealthy, in his view, are obviously more evolved, the poor, less. This is antique Indian caste thinking. Bob Gold told me a long time ago that as far as he was concerned, MMY was nothing more than the reflection of his culture, and an exemplar of all that is rigid and immovably hierarchical about India.
The meditation came along in a time in my life when I really needed it. For that I am truly thankful to MMY. But I paid my debt to him and them some by working for nothing for two years (was it three?). One does not owe the guru one's entire life. The meditation does not belong to the guru, much though he might have made it more accessible to more people (this was his greatest achievement whereas the restriction of the "advanced" or esoteric to the few is one of his greatest sins). The meditation belongs to the Spirit and it is men who need and use it. You thank your guru and you get on your way. If you see Buddha in the road, etc. John and the others who remain there are, as Rob says, frightened. They have allowed the guru to define not only their spiritual lives but also their physical, mental, and emotional lives as well.
Actually living in a compound as they do they reminds me of all the failed utopian cults that America was dotted with throughout the 19th Century. These experiments are always doomed to fail because they eventually become as rigid and unyielding to common sense as the most reactionary systems, which they were rebelling against in the first place. Hence all the bureaucratic idiocy that accompanies living in the Global Whatnot. John thinks that if he leaves the Global Whatnot he will never gain "enlightenment." This was the great fear of Brahmachari Devindra when I was with him in Majorca. Finally the man had the good sense to get out, but he could never completely separate himself from the guru. I really believe that one of the tests of spirituality is, in fact, the separation, total and complete, of the disciple from the teacher. Otherwise the teaching is a failure.
Ned
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Thu, 29 Aug 2002 14:08:22 -0700
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey Ned and Rob,
It would seem that if transcending time and space is a requirement for enlightenment then leaving the guru would be too!
Don Juan told Carlos that he owed him nothing. He said, " I gave you my attention and you gave me yours, it was a perfect trade."
Or some such thing.
Brother Casey
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Friday, August 30, 2002 7:28 AM
From: Rob McCutcheon"
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey
Ned, I think you need to write to John and give him the blow-by-blow descriptions you got from Jennifer and "Amy". We need to help this guy get his psychic shit together and extricate himself from the madness he cannot seem to escape. How can he believe MMY is perfect when he claims to be a lifelong celibate yet screwed young girls? And even though you might explain these sordid facts away by claiming that he was enlivening their Shakti or some such nonsense, nothing can explain away his adolescent angst and frantic attempts to convince Jennifer to come back. The movement came to a halt while he spent hours on the phone like a heartbroken teenager. But it all just goes to prove what the ancient Tantra Shastras say: Ain't nothing put a whuppin' on a man, Like the power of a pussy can.
------------------------
Fri, 30 Aug 2002 09:01:21 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
To: Rob
Subject: Re: Hey Ned and Rob,
I used to go get Jennifer the last thing at night so she could help MMY with the mail. She would be wearing a robe with just her underwear under it. I did not think anything of it. The ideal of the Bodhisattva is the same as Jesus' commend---love your neighbor. Brother Casey
---------------------
Fri, 30 Aug 2002 09:44:54 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
To: John Doe
Subject: E-mail and its power
John, Isn't e-mail incredible! Information moves very fast! As you have read Ned, Rob and I have been talking about you. We are all in the same boat: the boat on the way to enlightenment and as such we are in the dark as to exactly what the truth is. All of our paths will change before the goal is reached. You have to step out of the boat when you across the river! Thanks for continuing to send me great e-mails. Are you doing ok with George, Ned, Rob and I picking on you? I know you are!
---------------------
Fri, 30 Aug 2002 10:09:18 -0400
From: Rob McCutcheon,
To: Ned Wynn CC: brothercasey@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Hey
Ned, You are so fun to read. I didn't know you knew "Amy". She was in India the second course I was on. I was then the skin carrier, with a young Indian guy named Ashok. Every night after business was done, MMY would have Ashok and me go get "Amy" so she could "read him poetry" before bed. Ashok and I called her the poetry girl. Then I was so naive that I tried to block out the obvious -- but when things came down with Jennifer, I knew the same had gone on with "Amy", but I never talked with her about it. I am glad to know you did, cuz it confirms what my intuition told me. I know your Protestant deism does not accept the idea of the Bodhisattva, but I can't escape the conviction that if a person were realized, that would the proper course of action for them to take. Take care brother. Dr. Robert
---------------------
Fri, 30 Aug 2002 14:25:10 -0500
From: "George Burns"
To: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: da Babes Date:
One thing I thought of is this. A few years ago when John first mentioned the girls (after reading Ned's book), I just didn't believe it. Now, I could believe it, but it doesn't seem to make much difference to me (not nearly as much difference as him charging so much for TM). I don't think a little fooling around is as much of a sin as hiding this knowledge from the world. Another thing that came to my mind was this. A monk may have maximum power up in the mountains being 'singular'. But for achieving things in the material world, maybe it takes both the male and female energies working together to accomplish things. He may have had a close personal friendship with these girls (could have even been sexual if that's what it took), so that he could generate the type of energy necessary to create the effect needed to put things into motion in the material world. Sounds reasonable to me. Just a thought.
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Friday, August 30, 2002 2:46 PM
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey
One of the things that amazed me was the distaste with which Jennifer referred to her sex with MMY. She thought it was terrible, he was a shitty lover (of course) and she hated it but did it because well, she was Tom with tits, why else? As for "Amy", she was actually - she told me - in love with MMY. Actually infatuated love with him so she over-looked his premature ejaculations and his unwillingness to eat her maw maw. But he loved them [sexual act deleted due to a challenge to a made by an individual involved] pretty damn much. He got worried she was too clingy (or he had another ho on the line waiting) so he arranged for the rich [nationality deletedat the request of an individual involved] guy to take her off his hands even though the [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] was a married man with kids. MMY is one of the most immoral f*ckers I've ever known. He misuses his power in shockingly banal ways, kind of like an aging CEO with his secretaries. The guy has absolutely no style, no class. He's the classic backward Dravidian reactionary, sexually repressed, greedy, hypocritical, and a bald-faced liar.
Ned "Hey, "Amy", [specific sexual practice deleted, challenged by person involved]" Wynn
--------------
Friday, August 30, 2002 3:11 PM
From: John Doe
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
You haven't picked on me very much, and I wouldn't consider talking about any point a personal attack. I would appreciate getting some more details from Ned so I know these things really happened. It is mind blowing. I just got home. Later, John
--------------------
Fri, 30 Aug 2002 18:09:21 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Fwd: Re: Fw: Hey
John, Even though I am forwarding this to you I do want to say I think Ned is a little more negative than need be. "Amy" was very cute and any man would have had a hard time saying no to her if she was coming on to him. I do not think that MMY having sex says much about him at all except that he is human. I am not going to be the first person to throw the stone. As we learned from our last president all men will lie about sex and they can still be great and good men in spite on it.
Brother Casey PS. The [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] guy was very happy to take her back to [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] and set her in her own apt. as his mistress.
------------------
Fri, 30 Aug 2002 18:16:24 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
To: "John Doe" CC: "Robert McCutchean" ,"Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
John,
This is the bare bones of what I know, personally, from both Jennifer and "Amy". This email was originally written to Rob so it may be a bit raw and flippant for you. But we (Rob, Casey, and I) are way past being amazed at this. I have known this for thirty years now. These girls told me (and Jane Goe, my former wife) these stories personally. Jennifer called us up and made it a point to come to our house and tell us this story. She was angry about it. She felt that she had been taken advantage of by MMY because of his power and the aura he had. Once the blinders were off she felt abused and cheated, as if she had been f*cked while in a stupor. "Amy"spent a week in our house. It was intimate. I have absolutely no reason to doubt them, though, when I was in your shoes, I doubted Mia Farrow who told me about MMY's overt sexual passes at her. I thought she was mistaken. I no longer believe that this stuff is untrue.
These things also happened, I believe (but have no first-hand knowledge) with April. And a South American woman who was around before we were. There are obviously a number of girls that he screwed that we know nothing about, and it went on for at least twenty years. Someone besides me has got to know this. Jerry, for one. The Australian girls, Bev and Fran. Devindra knew. Billy had to know.
I did not publish this in my book out of deference to Maharishi, and I actually talked Jennifer out of taking it to a magazine at the time (early 70's). I would not do so now. There is absolutely no point in hanging onto an image of someone when it is this clear the image is false. It does not forward one's own trek toward enlightenment. MMY has always laughed this stuff off and made it seem like people are just trying to bring him down, etc. Or, as Rob says, he might claim it was the excitement of Shakti. Well, it's ALWAYS the excitement of Shakti, right? So what is the excuse? A dick is a dick, a pussy is a pussy, and ever the twain shall meet and splash around.
Casey is too kind to Maharishi. He is wrong. When a person in Maharishi's position, with status, personal power, and pretensions to enlightenment, uses his female disciples in this way it is scandalous and wrong. And when he lays a fake trip on his male disciples about celibacy and all that rot, it is wrong.
Ned
----------------
Friday, August 30, 2002 6:24 PM
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: da Babes
Paul, I would also think there is something to that. He wanted to be successful in the world and all the woman were coming on to him, it had to be hard on him. I also agree on the sex vs. money, his quest for name and fame and money are worse than any sexual indiscretions. And they were short term and temporary. Brother Casey
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Fri, 30 Aug 2002 18:50:03 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
Ned, Ned you can not stop trying to be entertaining and funny. I thought my time of celibacy then and now is and was very useful. I recommend it. Next life time I am going to be a monk right off! Unless "Amy" comes on to me. I would have a hard time saying no. It had to be unbelievably hard in the 60's to be celibate. And they were all coming on to him!! Don't we still love Bill Clinton? He was entertaining, Ned! And so was and is MMY! Brother Casey
-------------------------
Fri, 30 Aug 2002 19:21:01 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
To: "Casey Coleman" CC: "Robert McCutchean"
Subject: Re: da Babes
Paul, you are falling back into the rhythm that MMY wants you to. There is no point in thinking it is some kind of Vedic thing, either. Maharishi f*cked girls because he was horny. He used them. It was not equal, it was not enlivening to the women's spirits, whatever. Don't try and excuse this guy on these actions. He is a hypocrite. He tells us he is Brahmachari and he is not. He urges us to be celibate then he f*cks our chicks. Come on, man. If he had never pretended to be a Brahmachari then OK. In that case, he never said he wasn't f*cking them. But I am sure he used the ruse on them that his spiritual juice would lead them more quickly to enlightenment, or at least he let them think that it might. He was not forthright. Remember, this is a man in his fifties at the time, an adult. He was not a twenty-year old kid. He's got karma to pay, pure and simple.
It matters because as a disciple, I, and Rob and Casey, all bought his line and he used everyone up. The women were, of course, old enough to know better. But he had extraordinary power and he misused it. It is every bit as bad as the money, because it is about trust. You must absolutely be able to trust your guru. If he tells you flat out that he is celibate, then he better be celibate. If he slips, he has to cop to it and rethink who he is. When Maharishi was in Spain, I heard him say that many of the holy men in India used to say, "If Maharishi leaves India and goes out into the world, he is lost." Then Maharishi tossed his head back and laughed. The message was that those old Indian guys were fools, that MMY could not be corrupted by the "world." Well, they must have known him better than he did himself, because he is corrupt and he was corrupt then. That does not mean that he did not bring a valuable tool to us in the form of TM, but it does mean that for any true advancement in life, it is best to shake the dust of his movement, and his person, off your sandals and move on.
Ned
--------------------
Saturday, August 31, 2002 8:20 AM
To: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey
Ned, I can't but agree with your description of MMY. I am very interested to know when you talked with Jennifer and "Amy". Were we still all in Europe or did you talk with them later after we were stateside? Dr. Robert
---------------
Saturday, August 31, 2002 8:41 AM
To: "Ned Wynn" Cc: "Casey Coleman" ; "Robert McCutchean"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
Casey, Ned is absolutely right. Bill Clinton never claimed to be perfect -- MMY did. And in Jennifer's case, it really f*cked up her mind, she was badly hurt and damaged. And I do not believe that she came on to MMY. She was taken advantage of in a destructive and hurtful way, and that is not ok. Dr. Robert
-----------
Sat, 31 Aug 2002 10:40:13 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re another thing to consider :
Rob, Casey, John,
Remember something else: MMY claimed to hold Guru Dev in the highest esteem. He literally worshiped the guy. And remember also that he took vows of celibacy to this very guru and then broke them. One of the reasons I did not take the vows of celibacy with MMY in Majorca (I went all the way into the room with him where the Puja was to be done and told him I could not do it - Rob was outside the door and he was the first one I told about it when I came out) was because I knew instinctively I would not be able to keep them and I did not want to lie to Maharishi. Can you imagine the cataclysmic aftershock to a real, believing Hindu who lied and betrayed not only his disciples but his guru? WAKE UP!
When Paul says that the money was worse he is ignoring the above transgression of the guru/disciple/guru relationship and the sanctity of that bond. Either you are a truly religious man or you are not. Maharishi is not. So no one owes him one moment of loyalty from that point of view at least.
Ned
------------------
Sat, 31 Aug 2002 11:34:39 -0400
To: Ned Wynn
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power Ned, You are absolutely right. It is the misuse of power and the hypocrisy that is unforgivable that rankles. Dr. Robert
-----------
Sat, 31 Aug 2002 17:57:51 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: Re another thing to consider
Ned, Rob and John, Hurting another person with sex is sin or functioning under the influence of ignorance or a demon----no doubt about it! MMY was not perfect. And the last line of Ned's e-mail where he says we owe MMY no loyalty, I would comment on by quoting Emmet Fox.
"Remember that the Truth of Being concerns Itself with the infinite, the impersonal Principle of Life; and does not lend itself to the exploitation of particular organizations. You do not owe an a John of loyalty to anyone or anything in the universe except your own Indwelling Christ, your own spiritual integrity." Brother Casey
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Sat, 31 Aug 2002 10:33:18 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey
All the conversations with "Amy" (who stayed with Jane and me for a week in Santa Monica) and Jennifer (who lived in Santa Monica when she was first married, to a nice guy named Tim whom she later divorced) took place in our apartment on 19th Street in Santa Monica sometime in the early 70's. The girls were very explicit, there was no coy innuendo. They were forthright and anxious to tell it as it was definitely an unburdening to the only two people they apparently thought would give them a fair hearing and not be dismissive, etc. They did not sound like women who were making anything up or embellishing on a look they got or something. There was no doubting any of the substance of what they told me. These girls were not rumor-mongering or trying to self-aggrandize. they both had completely different points-of-view on Maharishi as I said in a previous email: Jennifer despised him, "Amy" loved him. They both f*cked him. I made sure to ask, did they actually have complete sex, they said yes, though it was less than thrilling to Jennifer.
Ned
--------------------
Saturday, August 31, 2002 6:09 PM
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
Rob,
Yes! it is an misuse of power and a hypocrisy, but unforgivable???????? Do you really mean that!! I doubt it. But if so, I would carefully reconsider your position in the light of the law of karma that says we are forgiven as we forgive.
Brother Casey
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Sat, 31 Aug 2002 20:50:43 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power Casey,
I agree, basically, with the thrust of Rob's message. Maharishi broke the sacred trust, the rule that bonds guru and disciple. Perhaps this was intentional (to make us leave), but either way, if it was intentional then the result is the same: break away, if not, break away. In the teleological sense, breaking away is required. Forgiveness, I think, is the choice of the individual, it is not a given. I don't feel the need to forgive MMY because I harbor no grudge against him. In a sense, I believe MMY's transgressions are actually against the Spirit, not against me or you. The disciples are the Spirit because they approach the guru in innocence and trust, just as the Spirit makes itself available to all who seek it, without partisanship. Rich, poor, old, young, male, female, black, white, the Spirit is open to all who seek it. The disciples, in the Hindu tradition, make themselves available to the guru to refine them and make them whole (holy). The guru welcomes the disciple and cares for him because the disciple brings the guru the greatest of gifts, love and obedience. By accepting the disciple the guru brings himself into contact with the Spirit. It is of tremendous spiritual import to the guru to have disciples. They are not petitioners, they are partners in the Spirit (as Christ said to his disciples, "I call you friends.") Christ even washed his disciples' feet. The guru is the Servant. He must be truly humble. If he lies and cheats, then he is violating an essential spiritual law. If he says he is Brahmachari and he is not, he transgresses a sacred boundary.
Maharishi needs to make amends. He needs to take to heart the lesson of submission, of surrender. Amendment of life when we have sinned against the Spirit is the greatest action we can take because it affirms our willingness to bow to the Spirit and to do the will of God. Maharishi never makes amends. He is arrogant and willful. I think it is completely reasonable for the disciple, disappointed in the guru's sinfulness, to be angry with him. And it is essential that the disciple, when he encounters a willfully disobedient guru, to leave that guru. If, later in life, the disciple comes to the conclusion that the guru was misguided (if, as you say, infested with a demon, or, as I think, compounded in his sin by ego and self-love), then the disciple may forgive the guru. But MMY continues in his sins, he wallows in his transgressions, and thus he has lost the love and care of the holy men in his own country. They know who he is. They warned him. But he thought he was above the rest. This is a problem that MMY will have to solve. So far I see no indication of anything in that direction. He remains grandiose, dictatorial, and unrepentant. When I speak of repentance I know that Rob will think, "Protestant Deist." But repentance is not foreign to Hinduism or Buddhism. It merely means a return to our right relationship with God, a relationship of complete surrender on our part and total Love on God's. Maharishi has no humility, and I think in the end that is his downfall. Sex is just a trap that is set to catch the arrogant and willful. Money, ditto. In and of themselves they are nothing. But, taken in the context we're exploring, they are indications of the unsuitability of Maharishi to be anyone's guru.
Ned
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Sun, 1 Sep 2002 10:17:28 -0400
From: "Casey Coleman"
To: Ned Wynn
Ned, I am sorry you talked her out of it, but I understand your impulse to protect her. Unfortunately, her silence enabled MMY to continue his nutty movement. In other movements where the guru's malfeasances did come out, there was hell to pay. I just read a book on the fall of Richard Baker, the head of the Zen temple in San Francisco. His followers chucked him out. In other cases, devotees left in droves when the truth came out about the misbehavior of their supposed perfect gurus. I myself planned to write a book about the subject. I even had an agent in New York who was sure the book would sell. My tentative title was "Robes of Silk, Feet Of Clay." I had the chapters all blocked out. But then I got a letter from Vernon Katz who, evidently at MMY's prompting, told me it was my responsibility as a former disciple to continue to respect the guru. I don't know why, but I found myself persuaded by Vernon, and I just couldn't go through with it, loving Vernon as I did. So it is to my discredit too. Robert
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Thu, 05 Sep 2002 08:57:09 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
My memory on the dates is not good at all. I couldn't even tell you the year. But at one point I had the job of being the door keeper to MMY. I let everyone in to see MMY and was with him as long as he was awake. I couldn't do this job for long because I needed more sleep than he did. I do not remember how many times (but something like four or five) the very last thing at night or early in the morning (2am) when everyone was gone and it was just me and him, he would tell me to go get Jennifer to do the mail. I would then go get her, she would be sleeping and would get up and come with me in her robe and underwear (I just happened to notice that she didn't have PJ'S under the robe) then the two of us would go into the room to do the mail. But after a few minutes MMY would tell me I could go rest, which I was very happy to do. The thought of them having sex never came into my mind. I have never talked to Jennifer about it. I have only heard about it second hand from Ned, Rob and Billy. But then thinking back on it I wonder why I couldn't have seen the obvious. But here is something also interesting. Right at this time MMY got all fired up that woman should not cook for him, that woman cooking for him or even being in his kitchen was having some negative effect on him. He started having John P cook for him. And John was told to keep all people out of the kitchen. I know this because I used to go and cook some food for myself in his kitchen and John found out about it and threatened me with a rolling pin! So I think he was trying to find the reason for the desires that were showing up in him. I hope this is helpful. Brother Casey
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Thu, 5 Sep 2002 09:11:22 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
To: "Casey Coleman" Gents,
Fascinating about MMY's search for reasons. What I wanted to say was that MMY was looking for some reason why he was horny, and settle on the fact that women were cooking for him. How absurd. Of course having John Pisculic do the cooking would put a crimp in anyone's sex life, but Maharishi refused to take responsibility for any of the things he did. Like f*cking his disciples. He did it because he was horny. Like the rest of us. Woman cook, man cook, the fact is that we are endowed with hormones and so are women and so we feel these things. Acting on them is entirely beyond the scope of who fries your chapattis. I am a married man. I love my wife. I would not cheat on her. But I still feel sexual desire for other women. It's the acting on the hormonal information that is at the root of MMY's trouble. And that is an element of self-control. His looking for some reason outside himself to blame is pure MMY. It's the whole "influence of karma" game. We know right from wrong. If we've done wrong we should try and alter our behavior instead of looking for mystical reasons and "sexual vibrations" coming from the kitchen.
Ned
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Thu, 05 Sep 2002 10:13:38 -0500
Dear John,
On jury duty, I'd heard before maybe on TV something about the saying in the law that there's nothing like cross i.e. cross-examination.
The opportunity to subject claims to scrutiny.
For me, I've received some emails about some claims from your friends according to your mutual friends. For all I know some hacker could be posing as you on the internet.
Or there may be a miscommunication or the perception of the two women may be clouded.
I know you're convinced.
But I've seen 12 ANGRY MEN many times and I majored in philosophy under a Methodist minister who had a PhD from Columbia U and had been the national debating champ at Emory and has the longest transcript of any witness (reluctant) ever to appear before the notorious HUAC (in July 1953 for 3 days.)
He emphasized question raising.
Clarification questions: what do you mean by this?
And critical questions: how can you say this here when you say that there or how can you say this is red when this established authority says it's blue.
It's all Nyaya. Rules of engagement. Defining terms.
There is nothing like cross.
Sometimes people lie under oath, break down on the stand, confess that their confessions were coerced, turn out to be multiple personalities.
Did you see Verdict with Paul Newman? Did you see Presumed Innocent with Harrison Ford.
I don't know these 2 women or the 3 guys from Adam even though maybe we've been on courses and the three guys ring a bell.
I recall a dark haired petite gal named "Amy", sort of a disciple type, but I don't recall her last name.
There is nothing like cross.
Children create stories of being molested. Women create stories of being raped. Gay lovers play head trips with each other.
My professor was smeared in college by a Presbyterian minister in Louisville who sent hate mail to students, faculty, alumni and parents resulting in an all campus meeting presided over by the then college president. Present were Enloe, Mary Drew, me, the entire campus, and Pierce Lively, an alum and person high in the judiciary system.
Brooks Landson, a student and now Chairman of the English Dept at U of Iowa in Iowa City asked the guy during Q & A about the commie literature he was waving. It gradually emerged that it was Quaker literature.
Those of present at that meeting will never forget that night and consider it one of the most memorable moments in our entire education.
Everyone spoke who wanted to. Anyone could ask the professor anything. I was his devoted student and friend and I asked right off, "Are you a Communist?" Not that it mattered.
There is nothing like cross.
And the presumption of innocence.
I have been the victim of many false stories in the movement which when I heard them, those I was lucky enough to hear, I had to laugh.
In these Ashcroft times, has M been informed of the charges, been given an opportunity to respond, been subjected to cross-examination? M says it's good to clear the air.
Ok, there is intuition and there are, for some, credible witnesses but for me I withhold judgment pending more information and even then I withhold judgment pending exploration of possible explanations.
Thank you for sharing all this with me but the effect, if not the intent of some accusers, is to discredit someone whose credibility is otherwise impeccable.
Remember when M said that after about 2 years of being around Guru Dev he wasn't making any mistakes, he'd locked in on the master's vibe.
Moreover, I hear no plausible explanation for this behavior.
Best,
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Thursday, September 05, 2002 10:47 AM
Dear Ned, If Casey is talking about the La Antilla courses then the time period is the first 6 months of 1971, right?? I wonder what date those courses ended and when Jennifer fled to Switzerland?? Were you and Rob also Door Keepers and did you also escort or see Jennifer go into MMY's room late at night?? John
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The 1972 - 1973 TTC's LaAntilla: October '72 to May '73. Punta Umbria: January '73 to May '73. Seelisberg: March '73 to May '73.
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Thu, 5 Sep 2002 11:18:47 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
To: "John Doe" CC: "Robert McCutchean" ,"Casey Coleman"
John,
Rob and I also were door keepers. Yes, we saw her go in late at night. April also went in late at night, but she never got the opportunity to tell anyone anything before the plane went down. I never put together the fact that Jennifer went in at night with anything sexual. I was totally blind to it. Now that I put it all together, Jennifer and "Amy" both would wander out of MMY's rooms at around 4:30 or 5 am (on different courses, of course, "Amy" was after Jennifer). What the hell were they doing up all night? Reading to him, of course, and taking dictation.
I was on at least three courses in Mallorca. I was at the very first course there, which would have started in early 1971, January, in fact. The last course I was on was in the summer of 1972. I was there the whole time except when I was sent to other countries to teach. When Jennifer left, Rob has hit it squarely. MMY was like a pimply-faced soul-sick geek. The whole floor was somber. Everyone was silent, looking around, worried, anxious. Jennifer is gone. Where is Jennifer? Where is Jennifer? Somebody will get her? Yes? Not here? But where she is?
I had no idea where she is. When Maharishi made these plaintive whines about her he would look at each of us as if we could produce her out of a hat. Or as if we had possibly conspired to help her (I did not, but some others may have had the guts to help her. I never knew that she was going. She was afraid to tell me, she said later, because she didn't know how deeply I was into the whole thing, and that I might tell MMY she was leaving and he would try and prevent her). Remember, MMY tried to get some of his monks to bring Mia Farrow back. They followed her practically to Goa!
Since I knew of two women first-hand, three if you count Mia, who said that she never f*cked him, they cannot be the only three he ever screwed. I remember in Humboldt there was a stunning South American woman holding some flowers and waiting for MMY to come out of his room. Someone whispered to me that she was rumored to be an ex-girlfriend of his. That means that he was into this shit way before we came on the scene. This lady hadn't been around for years. As far as I am concerned, if there was a rumor like that it had to be true. But in Humboldt I just brushed it off as a rumor.
Ned
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Thu, 5 Sep 2002 11:28:06 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn" John,
Most of those courses were three months long. If the dates are right then Jennifer fled to Switzerland in the Spring, like in March or April of 1971. I did not arrive back in the U.S. until July-August of 1972, and Jennifer did not talk to Jane and me until 1973 when we all lived in Santa Monica. Same with "Amy". I would say that "Amy" showed up sometime after she returned from [country deleted at the request of an individual involved] where she was with her rich, married [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] guy. That could have been 1973 or 1974. MMY had gotten rid of her. I have no idea who the next girl was. I believe that if anyone is still in contact with Billy, that he would know. I would be curious to know what Billy thinks of all this.
Ned
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Thu, 05 Sep 2002 16:52:18 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
Ned, Billy has his own stories to tell, he is much, much more negative than any of us. He was there longer and it cost him more money! And to you John I forgot to say that I heard about MMY's sexual adventures from Jane also. And she was the most convincing one of them all! Brother Casey
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Thu, 05 Sep 2002 20:41:13 -0500
Subject: Fwd: emails
From: "Ned Wynn"
Gents,
Obviously these emails are getting around. I didn't think, when I started yapping about all of this, what the ramifications might be, but the Internet is amazing. I hope that this info will help people to see clearly what they are into and make their decisions coolly, with eyes open. I am not at all unhappy with this, but I did not initially intend it. I have long since ceased to worry about how I am thought of in the TM movement. My book was published in 1989, so the little tidbit has been there for thirteen years. I am sure that I am on the hit list and have been for a long time. I consider it a badge of honor.
It has only been over the past five years or so, since Casey started sending me the garish magazines and all, that I saw how completely over-the-top this whole thing has gotten. Now with this King Nader character, it has become comedy, but the tragedy of people wasting their energy, their creativity, and their health in the service of MMY's grandiose visions is always present. John's view as a rational, if disturbed, insider is invaluable.
As it says in the King James (an actual King, BTW), "...And immediately there fell from his eyes as it had been scales: and he received sight forthwith, and arose." Acts 9:18
Ned
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Friday, September 06, 2002 6:50 AM
To: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Mo' frum da Lawd
Casey, You have brought up something important with the kitchen thing. If a man has extinguished ignorance and is living the bliss of Brahman, how can who cooked his food give him a hard on? This story demonstrates MMY's inability to take responsibility for his own shit, and to blame it on innocuous causes -- causes he should be above if he were really who he represents himself to be. Bro Robert
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Fri, 6 Sep 2002 09:30:12 -0400
From Rob McCutcheon
To: Casey Coleman
During this period of time I also was the door man. MMY ordered a number of expensive saris for Jennifer from India. He would have her dress up in them, and have her put on make up and come to his room late at night. Except that I did not get sent to bed. I had to wait outside the door until Jennifer left. She would appear rumpled and smeared. I also watched her mental state deteriorate. Clearly something bad was going on. Finally she snapped, and fled to Switzerland to hid out with Bev and Fran. When MMY found out she had left, he was beside himself. He would spend hours on the phone trying to coax her back. As I mentioned earlier, I also was the skin carrier in India. A similar scenario to the one Casey described with Jennifer took place with "Amy". When everyone had gone to bed, I would go get "Amy" so that she could "read poetry" to MMY. He would also have her dress up in fancy saris and paint her face. I was in a very strange state of mind about this. Ashok, the Indian boy with whom I was close, became contemptuous about MMY, but I somehow couldn't let the facts into my conscious mind. But I do remember how Ashok and I used to joke about the Poetry Girl in a ribald way that implied that more than poetry was being read. I never talked with "Amy" about this, but when I came to know what was going on with Jennifer I knew the same thing must have been true with "Amy", which Jennifer confirmed. I hope these sordid facts help you get some leverage on your present situation. Bro Robert
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Fri, 6 Sep 2002 09:46:31 -0400
Subject: Re: emails
Ned, Like you, my only connection with all of this has been through Casey. He would send me the movement mags occasionally and it just turned my stomach. But since we have gotten into all of this, I have been feeling badly for all of the people who have given their lives to this and are now materially and psychically harmed as a result. I hope your powerful emails get wide distribution in Oz.
Bro Robert
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Fri, 6 Sep 2002 16:08:30 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn" CC: "John Doe" ,"Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: Mo' frum da Lawd Rob,
What is interesting is that, while it is clear to us that Maharishi acted like a horny teenager (he was in his fifties, the girls in their twenties), to some others there arises a discussion of Brahman and ego, and intellect's incapacity to make decisions, etc. The facts are hard to confront without a curtain of metaphysics to hide behind.
Some things do not need to be over-explained. If a guru f*cks his disciples he is doing wrong. If he is supposed to be enlightened, then he is really doing wrong since he "knows" better. He is not living in ignorance and cannot use that as his excuse. It's hardly a question of when and how the individual decides to do right or wrong, it's a question, as Casey says, of having a moral code that tells him how to live and then essaying to live by it. Maharishi was indoctrinated in India with a strict moral code. Sex with one's disciples is not OK in that code. He knows the rules. All that seems to have happened is that he has decided that he is not bound by any of them, including the vow of celibacy he took to his revered Guru Dev. For those in the movement who put any store at all by vows given to one's guru, how is that permissible? And how, knowing MMY's behavior, would anyone honor any vow they might make to him? I believe that the very people who find all this so terrible and mean would hesitate before ever making the kind of commitment to him that many of us made back then.
I think it is understandable for people like John's friend to be upset and to lash out at us. As time goes along, and as these thoughts settle, it will become clearer why we are saying what we are saying. And again, to those who are listening in: this did not start out as a public service. These emails were circulated among a very few people and I personally never intended them to go farther. However, lest some think that I am shrinking from my position, I am glad they have. I now know there is a wider readership than I had heretofore imagined. I will continue to write these messages to Rob, Casey, and John, as I have been, with all the same arrogance and indiscretion I can muster. After all, it's my trademark.
Ned
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Fri, 6 Sep 2002 16:20:54 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn" To: "Casey Coleman" CC: "John Doe" ,"Robert McCutchean"
Rob,
This is by far the most revealing of all our emails. Without having to indulge in nasty, poo-poo dirty revelations, we see MMY in all his fetishistic grandeur. Dressing up his little American girls like little Indian girls, the saris, all the makeup, etc. And then having at them. Do I smell Madonna-Whore? Do I smell Oedipus? Your recounting of the way it worked is way more telling than anything I have said regarding what the girls revealed about the actual sexual encounters (which made Jennifer sick to her stomach to talk about). This is really at the crux of his psychological problems. He got to f*ck all those beautiful out-of-reach Indian women by tarting up some American girls to look like them, etc. And you know Ashok knew damn well what was up. So did Devindra though he would never say anything untoward. He would do it with looks. Too much of a gentleman, or just too damn scared.
This was some of your best writing, by the way.
Ned
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Mon, 9 Sep 2002 21:30:47 -0400
From: Robert McCutchean
To: Ned Wynn CC: Casey Coleman
Subject: Re: What is Enlightenment?
Ned, Definitely a Dick moment. I agree with Ned -- MMY is not enlightened, therefore sex with disciples is not ok. But if I believed he were enlightened, then as Ned points out, sex would be ok. For example, suppose Trungpa were Enlightened. We know he had sex with his disciples. But he wasn't a hypocrite about it. It is hard to say what made me finally conclude MMY wasn't an enlightened being. Certainly the sexcapades were part of it, and the hypocrisy, and the obvious attraction to money and elevation of those who had it, and the increasing paranoia/demonology, and the increasing bad taste of the names for increasing nutty programs, and the inflated and delusional claims to saving the world -- but you know what finally got me -- his cruelty to those who served him. I remember Angelika von Killischorn -- she was the first western brahmacharini just like I was the first Brahmachari, Casey second, and Ned would have been third except he had more sense than Casey or I. And one day MMY was getting ready to go somewhere, and A von K brought him a glass of water. And he took a big drink and then spit it all over her as if it were sulfuric acid. And then he told someone else to go get him water (from the same jug), and they brought it and he drank it, and I watched A von K die inside. Then I watched her deteriorate into madness -- she was somehow unworthy to bring the master water -- he had to spit it all over her. She may still be in a mental institution. And something in me said that an enlightened man should be able to drink a glass of water brought to him by anyone -- provided it wasn't sulfuric acid. And in that moment the seamless garment of MMY's perfection began to unravel. Bro Robert
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Mon, 16 Sep 2002 15:30:47 -0500
Dear Casey, Joe Schmoe just told me a story that kind of scared me. I sent the emails to both Joe and Jane Doe. On the first or second day she saw Joe and asked him what he thought. Now Joe says he said it was 30 years ago and he doesn't know what happened or cares that much. And Joe said MMY is a man and anything could be possible. Jane went mad that Joe didn't condemn the ideas. Joe went to the dome that night and 2 guys came up to him and said they hear he is spreading rumors about MMY. Joe conveyed that Jane Doe went many times more nuts than I could imagine. This is slightly scary. Later, John
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Tue, 17 Sep 2002 10:36:57 -0500
http://www.ex-premie.org/papers/gp_quotes.htm
"Gurus do give special attention to those with wealth or power; having celebrities in one's entourage increases coffers, influence, and membership."(p.89)
"In the realm of sexuality, the two prevalent ways control is exerted are through promulgating either celibacy or promiscuity...both serve the same function: they minimize the possibilities of people bonding deeply with each other, thus reducing factors that compete with the guru for attention." (p.92)
"Celibacy does allow one to maintain a certain kind of control of one's energy and emotions. It also conforms with images of purity. Therefore, it is far easier for a guru to gain and maintain power if he is celibate - or pretends to be."(p.92)
"Gurus who preach celibacy while secretly engaging in sexuality present sex as an esoteric initiation ritual or advanced spiritual exercise that must be kept hidden... But it is the lie, not the sex, that's the real issue. The lie indicates the guru's entire persona is a lie, that his image as selfless and beyond ego is a core deception."(p.95)
"The standards of purity necessary for the role of guru must bring unconscious repression and filtering mechanisms that ensure deceit and hypocrisy around self-interest,"(p.106)
Being a guru "...creates a feedback-proof system where the guru always needs to be right and cannot be shown to be wrong - which is where learning comes from." (p.107)
"Why would even the most realized of beings want people to become reliant on his wisdom instead of their own?" (p.108)
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Wednesday, October 23, 2002 12:31 PM
Subject: Re: Pebbles and Sandcastles
Brothers, This last email brought to mind an earlier email where the subject of the difference between Religion and Spirituality was broached. This discussion about MMY lying about the mantras seems to me to fall into a category of a mixing or confusion or definition about the realms or boundaries of Religion and Spirituality. Where as Religion could be characterized as a collection of dogma, Spirituality could be characterized as a matter of Intent. A matter of clarity and experience of Intent. These discussions seem to argue on a deeper level Maharishi's Intent. It seems to me that what brings us together is Intent. Some kind of collective Intent. Could Maharishi's Intent have changed? Has each one of our Intents have changed since we started Meditation?
For me all the "scientific gobledy gook" of the movement seemed to obscure the original Intent. I was always interested in "God" and "Truth" and "Knowledge" and "Wisdom." I can remember when I went to my first TM lecture and I thought the lecturer was not very clear or conscious of what the actual Intent of the meditation was. I thought that it was because he had not had a clear enough "Spiritual" experience.
What I hear from each of you is a deeper and clearer explanations of your Intents. Of what "God", "Truth", "Knowledge" and "Wisdom" mean to you. Once I heard Maharishi say that "Evolution means Growth of Love." That matched my Intent precisely. Perhaps I would say "Life is for Growth of Love."
Om, Becky
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Saturday, October 26, 2002 11:48 AM
From: Ned Wynn Sent: Subject: Re: Pebbles and Sandcastles
Beck,
Let me throw a bit more Hoffer at you in preamble to my own thoughts on this:
"The [leader of a mass movement] is eclectic in the methods he uses to endow the new order with stability and permanence. He borrows from near and far and from friend and foe. He even goes back to the old order which preceded the movement and appropriates from it many techniques of stability, thus...establishing continuity with the past. The institution of an absolute dictator...is as much the deliberate employment of a device [a 'king', a 'government', 'advanced techniques'] as the manifestation of a sheer hunger for power. Byzantinism is likely to be conspicuous at the...decline of an organization." Eric Hoffer, The True Believer brackets are mine
In my mind the movement has been in its latter, (stagnating) phase for some years. The active phase was over by 1975 or earlier. I would date the beginning of the decline to the institution of the siddhas, whenever that was. Hence, any changes that we see now are the result of the increasing "Byzantinism" of the movement. This is meant to hold the true believers together (against the "outside" world, hence Burns classic true believer outburst against us "doobie" smokers who point our "little fingers" at him, etc.), keeping them meek (the girls lining up for the 'king'), convinced (Burns), and in place (John, Burns, the rest, especially those at Fairfield and other TM enclaves), while at the same time rewarding the ambitious, career-minded Officers-of-Rank (only within the confines of the movement itself) with more titles and perks (nothing "real" nothing in the outside world, hence the utter failure of the Natural Law Party to ever win anything, the failure to actually get any government to accept this in the schools or government institutions, etc.); creating "necessary" institutional "improvements" to facilitate the establishment of Global Peace; blaring out, through a megaphone named Powell Woods, Goebbels-like "urgent" new directives (nothing urgent about them at all. Totally bogus. I mean totally, utterly bogus) for which the believers must suddenly be galvanized to new action, to extend/protect the goals of the movement (and to continue to think they - the believers - are important, that they "count;" they do count, but not for the reasons they think. They are merely a source of money).
Never expect anything in the movement to be pure anything. It was the search for purity that brought most of us in the first place, but we never encountered it (purity) there. It was in reaction to the outside, impure, world. The world was too grotesque, corrupt, painful, wrong, greedy, mean, warlike, nasty, brutish and short. So we responded to something that was advertised as the root of all right action, the basis for a new beginning, based, as Casey points out, on the Sanatana Dharma (not stated in the beginning of TM as such) or "original intent" of all spiritual learning and living. Becky points out the disjunction between religion and spirituality. I think it is endemic to the teaching. The spirituality of TM is the religion. You can try and separate them, but the mantras, the pujas, all that, they are religious.
My point is this: there never really was anything "pure" about TM, including the intent. To think that is to continue to safeguard our own early days, our own ideas about ourselves, to assume that we were, once, attached to something good and wonderful which was then corrupted. I don't believe this is right anymore. I now think the corruption was inherent in the original moment of its (TM's) creation. MMY set out to deceive from the beginning - for whatever reasons, to save the world, whatever, deception was at its core. We were part of that deception though we did not then know exactly what it was or how it worked.
I certainly understood from the beginning that there was some "stretching" of the truth when we lectured and when we initiated. But, as with all true believers, I chose to go along with this because I had bought into the idea that the end justified the means. I could behave in a not-altogether-forthright manner (i.e., I could lie) because a greater truth was being served. There was no such thing as cheating or being unfaithful as there was only one thing that demanded our faith - MMY and TM, inextricably bound. Everything else was up for grabs. Hence the idea of cheating in business. I remember Jerry Jarvis wondering aloud in Kashmir why the Muslims could cheat us so readily and without any apparent pangs of conscience. I said to him that, what I understood was that to the Muslims, we were the Infidel. We did not have the standing in the universe that the Muslim did. The Infidel may be cheated, lied to, killed. All with impunity. To a lesser extent, this mindset exists in the TM movement today.
This is how all mass movements work, it is how they gain adherents, especially in the early days. If I did not have this willingness in me, this willingness to bow to a "greater" authority (not God, mind you, a human authority, a guru), I would never have been involved in the movement. I would have meditated, taken what I could from that, and moved on. So I do not bemoan anything that is taking place in the movement today. The movement, seen objectively, is almost a cliché of all mass movements. Each phase is mirrored in some already clearly understood and delineated outline of mass movement behavior. It's a well-recognized pattern. Rob has a fascinating article he wrote concerning the ways in which TM follows a predictable course. It (the course of the movement) is not unusual, in fact it is the norm. TM is on schedule. It will finally sink, irretrievably, into the black hole of failed ideas once MMY has exhausted all avenues of financial annuity, and he dies. No Bevan Morris or a guy named Nader Raam or a Keith Wallace is going to save it.
I have taken this tack because I think I need to be clearer on my own behavior. George Burns has illustrated to me what I used to be like. I argued as he does, I thought I was the one who was clear and it was others who were wrong. They just didn't get it. As Casey put it to him, all the scriptures, all the philosophers, all the Hindus, everyone in history is wrong, but George is right. That argument has no weight with George. He is still perceiving reality from inside the bubble. Maya has many levels. One level of Maya is the level in which one thinks he has escaped Maya. He has become a "knower of reality." That was one of MMY's early sucker plays. In order to keep a mass movement going, the leader separates the believers from all the "others," the unbelievers (see radical Islam), the ignorant non-meditators, the unenlightened, those who are somehow "asleep." Once isolated, he inoculates the believers with more dope (advanced meditations, siddhis, separate habitations, new habits, rules about how to build a house, how to live in it, etc.) so that the believer's own sense of his specialness is enhanced. I am this temple of the knowledge of the ancients, a vessel of truth. Now the believer has a lot invested. His very consciousness is invested in the movement. What happens to him if he leaves? He will shrivel. He will die. Burns has a lot to protect. John ditto. I understand. I thought I did too.
Ned
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Thu, 02 Jan 2003 22:12:23 -0500
Yes, the Mia incident at Rishikesh could be taken as an innocent thing, but because Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, in the greater context of the time, was an aggressive sex maniac, the correct interpretation is that it was a sexual advance. Also it is very inappropriate to take a lady alone into your basement and put your arms around her. Also I think it is significant how much time MMY had spent courting her every day for weeks before the incident. Long last the truth comes out on why Beatles left. Because Mia told them what MMY did to her.
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The end, for now.
Note: I have edited the post below at the request of an individual involved. This individual objected to certain factual errors—as well as concern that family might read it.In publishing this document, readily available on the Internet, it was not my intent to harm the individuals involved. My focus was on what I consider to be highly hypocritical behavior by a man who urged celibacy on his followers, going so far as to say full enlightenment was not possible without strict life-long celibacy.Namely, the Maharishi.I deeply apologize to any individuals who felt harmed by this post. If you were directly involved in the incidents or emails I posted, please feel free to email me to discuss edits that make you more comfortable.
In a BBC Interview in 1969 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/audiointerviews/profilepages/maharishi1.shtml), Maharishi said he took vows to renounce worldly life because that was the traditional understanding he came from, but that he has since discovered that spiritual life does not require giving up worldly life, only that one meditates regularly, morning and evening. He apparently applied this discovery to his own life, as there is ample evidence that throughout most of 1960’s and early 1970’s, he was sexually active with a number of young women, while still proclaiming publicly that he was a life celibate. The following is a compilation of information regarding these sexual activities. Some of these accounts come directly from one of the women involved. Others come from men who served as Maharishi’s personal secretaries, and who often escorted women to and from his room late at night. Excerpts from email conversations between former personal secretaries Rob McCutchean, Ned Wynn, and Casey Coleman, are sprinkled throughout the following text. The full text of these emails is included at the end of this document. Still other accounts come second or even third hand from people who spoke with one or another of the women, or a friend of one of them. Any one of these latter accounts, in isolation, could easily be dismissed, but taken together, from different times and places, they tend to reinforce each other. An attempt has been made to put this information in chronological order. Reportedly, two of the women (Jennifer and "Amy") are collaborating on a book, which they intend to publish after Maharishi dies.
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The earliest account comes from the end of Chapter 13 of the book "Call No Man Master," by Joyce Collin-Smith, which can be downloaded for free from http://www.isleofavalon.co.uk/joyce.html. The section on MMY starts with Chapter 9 and the whole book is an interesting read. The time frame referred to in the last paragraph of the following excerpt is the early 1960’s, soon after MMY came to England, during which the author was his personal assistant:
"Around this time something came out in the news that was completely astonishing to me. Lennon suddenly denounced Maharishi in a press conference in the USA, partly on the grounds that he apparently had a considerable sex life.
"There was a big hullabaloo about him trying to rape Mia Farrow and a few other women, and things like that", he said. "We stayed up all night discussing, was it true or not? We went to see Maharishi, the whole gang of us, the next day. I was the spokesman. I said: "We're leaving." He gave me a look like: 'I'll kill you, you bastard'. I knew then, because he gave me such a look, I had called his bluff."
Although there is a tradition of religious eroticism in India, Maharishi came from a celibate line of spiritual brothers, who deny the body and have few physical needs. When we first knew him he ate little, slept little, wore little clothing against the cold, had few possessions. He seemed all Spirit, all Light. I don't think any of us who were around him then and looked after him, ever associated him in our minds with sexuality. He did not touch us, we did not touch him. He was as unsexy as a young child.
Yet, once the gossip began, some of us started to cast our minds back, and to see for the first time the significance of a period when he first began locking his door in the afternoons, closeted alone with one young woman or another. Although the hypnotic influence seemed to have kept us unaware of what was going on at the time - we thought him to be giving 'special tuition' to chosen devotees - we now realized something different. There was a certain wide-eyed, fair-skinned type of girl to whom the dark-skinned Indian is frequently attracted. We now saw something he had intended to conceal. He had departed from the Holy Tradition of his Masters as worldly needs had gradually got a hold on him."
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From a businessman on the East Coast:
I have a friend in this area whose wife told my wife and me a story recently. She said her initiator, an English woman, with whom she was very close over a period of years, was with Maharishi in the early days and was acting as a personal assistant to him. She helped him with his personal things in his room, etc. Maharishi had her massage him and then asked her to massage him in a sexual way. I don't know more details since at the time when we were having dinner in a restaurant she didn't want to talk more about it. I really would like to get the more complete story, including the initiator’s name, which I heard but don't remember. I'd like to get all the facts straight. However she made it abundantly clear that she was positive that Maharishi got or attempted to get sexual with this woman, and that she had the utmost confidence that her initiator/friend told her the truth.
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Conny Larsson was MMY's secretary in the early 70's and later spent years with Sai Baba. Conny is Swedish; hence the funny grammar. Here is a letter he sent to his friend David, who became an initiator on an early Rishikesh course:
Dear David.
I have information about MMY of the kind that supports your exposé stories that are going around, but I have promised the lady that you even know well to be silent until she has decided how to handle her situation since she already has been targeted out by the TM-organization and also slandered by the groups around the expose of MMY.
She was for very long a close partner to MMY in all ways but loved him immensely and does not want to hurt him now when he is so old. He will of course not live so many years more and she is therefore writing her book to told as a first hand story. This will be given out after MMY has left his body, till then she is silent.
I myself was so very stupid and innocent in the beginning of me being an MMY-secretary or skin boy, but I couldn't miss wondering since I was the night boy all the girls that came when I was finished with the massage at around 2-3.00 in the morning.
He then used to call one girl every now and then and I always thought he was dictating a letter or something in the middle of the night. The girls that came last in the night never looked happy when she came out from the 30 minutes audience but never thought of it to be a pleasure or sexual meeting.
Knowing what I now know I feel just embarrassed that my Master didn't stand up for his sexual lust or love to women. That would have been perfectly OK with me anyhow. But to hide and lie and create an M-group that I and many other boy belonged to was just a soap opera I now think.
Jemima Pitman knew it all the time, but she was so in love with a [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] Professor and MMY let this pass just in front of his eyes without doing anything even if the professor was married and had children.
In service and duty
Conny
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Another one from Conny
Dear David!
Regarding MMY's guilt, he is all aware of it, for one day after a great f**k on the roof of his villa under the moonlight and in the protection of the mosquito-net he called for Tatwalababa, the naked yogi, for his protection and for his cleansing of the ashram, this was what he explained to the lady he f**ked with. They loved each other for years. Look at the group-picture from one of your photos which MMY did in Rishikesh when you where there, you are in the picture and so are MMY and the women he loved and f**ked with for several years.
So he knows and what he does with peoples' money is not of any interest to me.
Everything will come out in the end of this year or in the beginning of next year when my book is published, it is in two parts and the first part is only missing one chapter right now. It’s done in a month or so. 400 pages in each. but it has already hit Sweden since I have read some part of it on the Radio. You see in Sweden today I'm a well-known man even if I'm not that loved as I wanted to be, due to my uttermost frankness. I can't stand lies and I can't let people step on the poor or weak, and Jesus, that gives me enemies from high and low, but I don't care since I don't need them for my survival.
Well dear friend, write me soon again, I'm very happy to have connected again.
Love
Conny
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Most of us first heard of MMY's alleged sexual interests in the Rolling Stone interview with John Lennon in the spring of 1970. John's friend 'Magic Alex' had heard rumors about Maharishi, and convinced John that he was going around propositioning all the young ladies, and was only interested in the Beatles for their money. When they questioned him about it, he feigned innocence and asked them why they were leaving, to which John replied: "If you're so cosmic, you'll know why." He later recalled that: "There was this big hullabaloo about him trying to rape Mia Farrow or somebody and trying to get off with a few other woman and things like that. We went to see him after we stayed up all night discussing whether it was true or not. When George started thinking it might be true, I thought well, it must be true; because if George started thinking it might be true there must be something in it." TM loyalists concluded that Lennon was unstressing and that Mia Farrow misinterpreted whatever it was MMY did. In her book "A Twist of Lennon," Cynthia Lennon defended Maharishi, saying that Magic Alex had made up the story to try to get the Beatles away from Maharishi. The book "Beyond Gurus," by Nancy Cooke de Herrera offered a similar theory.
Here is Ned Wynn's account (Ned was MMY’s personal secretary in Mallorca):
Yes, I had direct contact with Mia and a very clear and direct conversation with her regarding MMY's advances. She told me (and Nini White Winquist) that MMY got her alone in his pad at Rishikesh, put his arms around her and tried to get her to lie down with him. She was confused for about three seconds then she jumped up, ran out, told Paul and John and some other people, then she took off for Goa. She said that MMY had her followed for weeks by some of his brahmacharis. She was actually scared of them. She said it was clear he wanted her to engage in sex with him. I didn't believe her at first because I had the proto-Fairfield disease. But clearly, she was telling me the truth. After all, this was the chick that married Frank Sinatra. Like, she didn't know when some guy was making a move? Duh!
Ned
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From a former member of the Purusha program:
It started like this: I was sitting after a retreat, and we were talking about the integrity of Gurus (or lack thereof), and I was saying that at least I was confident that my former Guru, MMY, was clean as far as sex goes. One woman challenged me, and said that she knew of a woman who could tell a different story. I asked her to tell me who that woman was; she said she could not, as that woman certainly did not want anyone to know a thing about it. I said, please can you contact that woman and ask her if she would talk to me, as this would be very important for me to know, having spent so many years with the assumption that my Guru was clean that way. She said she would call that woman and ask her.
After about an hour, a woman whom I had known well, and who had known very well about my involvement with Maharishi and my respect and love for him, came up to me and said, "I heard that you wanted to talk to me". I said I did not know what it was about, that I did not ask to talk to her. But then I understood, that this was the woman who had some experience with Maharishi. I was very surprised, because she never told me that she knew Maharishi.
She was among a group of young college students who went to hear Maharishi when he came to Australia in the late sixties. It is possible that this is before the Beatles were involved, I don't know. Anyway, at one point Maharishi was flying somewhere with Divendra, to a different town, and he asked a few of them (all young girls, interestingly enough) to join him. Which they did, happily. He had given his talk there and flew back, with them in the plane. They then accompanied him to the hotel. At one point he turned to that woman and told her - "come, I'll give you my love". She was not sure what it meant, but she did not respond. She thought, "no, it could not be what I think it is". And she let it slide, dismissing any thoughts about it.
Although she did not consider herself a disciple of Maharishi, she went to hear him talk a year later. Again, after the lecture he invited her to come with him, and repeated his enigmatic offer. She said she was curious what he meant, and accompanied him to his room. She said he hugged her and kissed her - and that her thought at the time was that he did not know anything about women and very inexperienced. She said she felt very flattered - she was 19 or so - and confused. And she asked him, "but are you not a monk?" And he let go, and smiled, and said yes, I am a monk. I don't remember how the conversation continued between them.
However, she was very careful to say: 1. That nothing actually transpired (i.e., she never went to bed with him) 2. He was very gentle, he did not try to force her into anything.
She described his room with quite some detail, and I could satisfy myself that at least she was in his bedroom (with the Puja set and all that). As for how reliable she is, I have no idea.
I asked her why she wanted to be so secretive about it. She said, that she did not want to make people who innocently following him disillusioned about him. She said, that she would have never told me anything about it, had I not asked for it in the say that I did. I am not 100% sure what her motivations for hiding the story are, maybe there's more to it than she was willing to say. But anyway, you have it now.
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from Conny’s friend David:
Hello, working my way through it all. I intend trying to make contact with Linda W She gave an interview in 1977 with a South African newspaper of how MMY told her not to have hang-ups about sex and then screwed her. Young, attractive English girl at the time, probably 1970.
I think it would be a pity if the story only broke AFTER his death. Not necessary for punishment reasons but so he can deal with it in whatever way he wants. I really believe we need to deal with our secrets. It is part of growth. Also I think people who still devote their lives to TM and the Organization deserve the chance to rethink. I know of people who devoted most of their life to this. People who probably turned down the chances for a sexually fulfilled relationship or some glory in the outer world. This might have caused some hardship. I don't like the idea of people scrimping and saving to do expensive courses and yagyas and have the fun channeled into folly, fantasy and family members.
My own position is really clear to me. I had a wonderful time around him and enjoyed him and his teachings. I feel no need personally to bring him down. My memories are all positive. I quit before things turned really sour. Thus I have benefited from my contact with him and feel warm to him because of that. I hold precious many experiences that came from my TM meditations. Thus I take a very neutral position in this debate. Except I would love to know WHY! Though I doubt whether he will ever openly and fully discuss it. As the Beatles said, as far as sexual things went, it appears true he was just a man.
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Jennifer’s story:
At the end of TTC (the 1st course in Majorca) MMY asked Jennifer, Jennifer's brother and about 5 others to go to England to give TM intros. After their time in England MMY asked them to return to Spain. They did so for a short while, at which time Jennifer's brother returned to the U.S. to the west coast.
MMY asked Jennifer to stay in Europe. She did, not knowing what MMY had in mind. Several of MMY's staff, including Jennifer and MMY, were on an outing in a car. They stopped for lunch. Jennifer didn't go in to the restaurant and MMY decided not to go in also.
While outside MMY was talking to her and by the look he was giving her, it was "obvious" to Jennifer what he wanted. She fell under his spell, and so the affair began.
It lasted for at least a couple of weeks. While it was going on, "Amy" and April approached Jennifer, for they saw what was happening, and told Jennifer that she would be just one of numerous women that MMY had already had. This caused Jennifer to flee.
She said that one night while leaving MMY's room Devendra saw her and shook his head, suspecting what was going on. This would explain why he went back to India before MMY went to Switzerland.
MMY gave her "a lot" of money, all in Spanish currency, in hopes of keeping her from leaving. She said Jerry Jarvis delivered the package of money to her. She said, "He was really 'pissed' at having to do it".
She went to Switzerland, fleeing from MMY's people who were looking for her. Here she called her brother in the TM center in Oregon. She was crying, explaining some details of the affair with MMY.
Here are some recent comments from Jennifer:
Someone asked: "How can a man around whom women must not show an inch of skin, for whom celibacy is such a core espoused value, and about whom Larry Domash once said that he never thinks for even one moment about anything other than helping the world, fall into such a pit?"
Jennifer responded:
The thing I find interesting about his whole discussion are the allegations that "Amy" and I might be lying. Actually if you read the stories carefully, what the men knew is all that they should have known-they got me from my room-MMY asked for me. I have not told any story yet. I did talk to Ned, but his memory is not complete. Jane, his former wife, was very dear to me. I have no incentive to lie. In fact, my brother and his wife were just coming to Spain to join the MMY insiders when I decided to run away. I had to call them and tell them what had happened and why I needed to leave. April, who helped me leave the course, was sent home when MMY found out she gave me money to leave and drove me to the airport. She later died in a plane crash with Joe Clarke and someone else when they were looking for property for the University. The phone calls from MMY to me in Switzerland were overheard by a number of people and interestingly, I posed the question to MMY that he poses in his email: "How can a man around whom women must not show an inch of skin, for whom celibacy is such a core espoused value, and about whom Larry Domash once said that he never thinks for even one moment about anything other than helping the world, fall into such a pit?" Only not in the exact same words, of course.
Someone asked:
How did MMY answer this question? Do you feel that MMY ever did any real soul searching over his behavior?
Jennifer responded:
Yes he did-earlier. A young man died on our course in Mallorca. I recall that he was mentally challenged and on the course with his mother. One morning he was found dead down on the rocks near the ocean. MMY was distraught and told me that he thought this happened because of his karma and because of his wrong conduct. In the phone call he was just upset and begging me to return.
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From an old-time TM teacher:
I remember when she (Jennifer) showed up at Humboldt '72 with the intent of exposing MMY's sex escapades with her but then quickly left without having done so. I had long wondered where she went after that. She was pretty, bright, and clearly very capable, and I don't know how I would have reacted to details on MMY and sex then because she was someone who, to me at least, had credibility. When she suddenly left without confronting anyone we were able to sweep it under the rug.
I did not see her at Humboldt '72, but I have maintained a very clear memory since then of being told by one of my TTC friends when I arrived at Humboldt (Jennifer had been on our TTC) that Jennifer was there with the intent of confronting those on the course with details of sexual experiences with MMY. I recall that the person who told me surmised that she must have joined a fundamentalist Christian group, but that possibility seemed to me wholly outside of her character. I suppose I might so clearly remember being told about this both because the information was so incongruous with my image of MMY and because, as I indicated before, Jennifer was someone who I considered a pretty straight arrow. Like many (if not all) TTC courses, ours had many participants with loose screws (I recall one guy we called "Orangeman" because he ate only oranges), but no one who I knew would have so characterized Jennifer. I don't know how widespread the knowledge was at Humboldt of her intentions, and my recollection is that she left so quickly that we just settled into the rounding and the course that nothing came of it. (The big news coming out of that course was the increase of the course fee to $75 for students and $125 for adults, which we fought mightily at Jerry's urging until Jerry told us to stop.) Perhaps someone did confront and frighten her there, and that's why she left. When she never again showed up at any ATR I maintained some question in the back of my mind as to whether she might actually have left the movement because she had been sexually involved with MMY, but that didn't come up again until '78 or '79, when there was a sudden flurry of talk about her and others, some of which even included speculation that MMY might also have been, or at least tried to be, involved with April Clemons before she and (East Coast Regional Coordinator) Joe (Clarke) died in the plane crash with Ron M. Years ago I thought about contacting April's brother Tommy to learn whether he knew about any of this, but never did and have no idea where he is now.
You aren't the first to wonder whether MMY had some role in the plane crash, although that always has seemed a stretch. Your information that April assisted Jennifer and thus must have known about her and MMY is interesting. My recollection is that April had been with MMY in Fiuggi when she came back to the States and went with Joe to NC to view the land. I think she may actually have left at that time with some bad feelings -- at least I have some faint memory to that effect. Anyway, Joe and April had become an item by then, although perhaps not publicly. Charlie (Donahue), who was then Midwest Regional Coordinator, was supposed to meet Joe in Boston a week or two after the NC trip to go to the Cape for a weekend visit (I think Joe's family had a house on the Cape). That did not happen due to Joe's death. (I was with Charlie when Joe died -- needless to say, he could not have been more upset). In '78-'79 when the MMY & sex stuff arose with some force, Charlie recalled that Joe had called him shortly before the NC trip saying that he had learned something very troubling that he had to talk about with Charlie, and my recollection is that it was something that April had told Joe. Joe said it was very big, and they decided to put off discussing it until they met up on the Cape. Charlie theorized that perhaps Joe had been intending to tell him that he had learned from April that MMY had been sexually involved with women. At the time, the whole thing was troubling to many of us, including Charlie. I know that he has no interest in it at all now, however, having contacted him with the "skin boys" dialogue that has been reproduced on FFL. I think I can fairly say that he considers it irrelevant to MMY's importance as a spiritual master. As to whether the legalities would change after MMY dies, I would think whatever flimsy basis there might be for a lawsuit before he dies would die with him.
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From another old-timer:
Here is what I heard in the late 70's from a TM teacher who had originally worked at the Cambridge Center, then in Manhattan and was part of Charlie and Mark Lerner's etc. crowd. He told me that April called someone she was close to (probably Charlie?) at the Cambridge Center after she had arrived in N Carolina. She was with Joe and sounded hysterical. She said she had some very upsetting news about MMY and would not discuss any more on the phone. She said that as soon as she and Joe finished looking for land in N Carolina they would come to Boston and explain it all. I am not clear about this part but my memory was that she and Joe then got on the airplane and it crashed, I just don't know if there was a space of a few days between the phone call and the crash, or whether it happened immediately after the call.
When I heard this story, my hair literally stood on end. I asked the person if he thought the crash was some cosmic intention of MMY's and he said he did not know what to believe. However, this person did stay involved in the TMO for many years more.
Also, this conversation I had with him was in the context of my telling him about the rumors of sexual misconduct that I had heard via Chuckie Blitz. After I explained what I had heard, my friend said he had heard them too, and then proceeded to tell me the story of April.
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From Billy Clayton. (Maharishi's former secretary):
Maharishi was spending a lot of time with Jennifer; she spent a couple hours every morning in his room "reading him his mail," though sometimes there wasn't any mail or very little. Maharishi was buying clothes for her and suggesting how she should dress. Once, when a man who had been her boyfriend came to visit the course (a wealthy guy who came to give money), Maharishi was very grumpy, and after taking the gift, dismissed the man abruptly. A few nights later, with an urgent question for MMY, Billy and his fellow secretary knocked on Maharishi's door. They heard a noise, and since they were used to walking into M's room, they tried to open the door and go in but Maharishi jumped up and blocked it with his foot. They didn't claim to have seen the linga in the yoni but it was clear that Maharishi was not fully dressed. Apparently, he had just grabbed his dhoti and jumped up when he realized they were coming in. He told them to come back later. At the time neither of them really opened their eyes to what was going on and they didn't discuss it. In fact, they never discussed it.
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From Robert McCutchean: (Maharishi's former secretary)
Ned, you are spot-on in what you say about Maharishi and the TM movement. My faith in Maharishi's supposed perfection dissipated when he got sexually involved with Jennifer. Then when she left him and went to hide out in Switzerland with Bev and Fran, I observed him reduced to the status of a quivering adolescent.
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From Ned Wynn
Jennifer and that other chick who was in love with the rich [nationality deleted at the request of individual involved] guy, "Amy". MMY was gaga over her and f*cked her for a while as well. I got a blow-by-blow description of all this from "Amy" (and Jennifer). [Sentence deleted due to a challenge to a sexual act made by an individual involved.]
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From Rob McCutcheon
Ned, I think you need to write to John and give him the blow-by-blow descriptions you got from Jennifer and "Amy". How can he believe MMY is perfect when he claims to be a lifelong celibate yet screwed young girls? And even though you might explain these sordid facts away by claiming that he was enlivening their Shakti or some such nonsense, nothing can explain away his adolescent angst and frantic attempts to convince Jennifer to come back. The movement came to a halt while he spent hours on the phone like a heartbroken teenager.
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From Casey Coleman (Maharishi's former secretary)
My memory on the dates is not good at all. I couldn't even tell you the year. But at one point I had the job of being the doorkeeper to MMY. I let everyone in to see MMY and was with him as long as he was awake. I couldn't do this job for long because I needed more sleep than he did. I do not remember how many times (but something like four or five) the very last thing at night or early in the morning (2am) when everyone was gone and it was just me and him, he would tell me to go get Jennifer to do the mail. I would then go get her, she would be sleeping and would get up and come with me in her robe and underwear (I just happened to notice that she didn't have PJ'S under the robe) then the two of us would go into the room to do the mail. But after a few minutes MMY would tell me I could go rest, which I was very happy to do. The thought of them having sex never came into my mind. I have never talked to Jennifer about it. I have only heard about it second hand from Ned, Rob and Billy. But then thinking back on it I wonder why I couldn't have seen the obvious. But here is something also interesting. Right at this time MMY got all fired up that woman should not cook for him, that woman cooking for him or even being in his kitchen was having some negative effect on him. So I think he was trying to find the reason for the desires that were showing up in him. Brother Casey
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From: Robert McCutchean
Certainly the sexcapades were part of it, and the hypocrisy, and the obvious attraction to money and elevation of those who had it, and the increasing paranoia/demonology, and the increasing bad taste of the names for increasing nutty programs, and the inflated and delusional claims to saving the world -- but you know what finally got me -- his cruelty to those who served him. I remember Angelika von Killischorn -- she was the first western brahmacharini just like I was the first Brahmachari, Casey second, and Ned would have been third except he had more sense than Casey or I. And one day MMY was getting ready to go somewhere, and A von K brought him a glass of water. And he took a big drink and then spit it all over her as if it were sulfuric acid. And then he told someone else to go get him water (from the same jug), and they brought it and he drank it, and I watched A von K die inside. Then I watched her deteriorate into madness -- she was somehow unworthy to bring the master water -- he had to spit it all over her. She may still be in a mental institution. And something in me said that an enlightened man should be able to drink a glass of water brought to him by anyone -- provided it wasn't sulfuric acid. And in that moment the seamless garment of MMY's perfection began to unravel. Bro Robert
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From Ned Wynn
Rob and I also were doorkeepers. Yes, we saw her go in late at night. April also went in late at night, but she never got the opportunity to tell anyone anything before the plane went down. I never put together the fact that Jennifer went in at night with anything sexual. I was totally blind to it. Now that I put it all together, Jennifer and "Amy" both would wander out of MMY's rooms at around 4:30 or 5 am (on different courses, of course, "Amy" was after Jennifer). What the hell were they doing up all night? Reading to him, of course, and taking dictation.
I was on at least three courses in Mallorca. I was at the very first course there, which would have started in early 1971, January, in fact. The last course I was on was in the summer of 1972. I was there the whole time except when I was sent to other countries to teach. When Jennifer left, Rob has hit it squarely. MMY was like a pimply-faced soul-sick geek. The whole floor was somber. Everyone was silent, looking around, worried, anxious. Jennifer is gone. Where is Jennifer? Where is Jennifer? Somebody will get her? Yes? Not here? But where she is?
I had no idea where she was. When Maharishi made these plaintive whines about her he would look at each of us as if we could produce her out of a hat. Or as if we had possibly conspired to help her (I did not, but some others may have had the guts to help her. I never knew that she was going. She was afraid to tell me, she said later, because she didn't know how deeply I was into the whole thing, and that I might tell MMY she was leaving and he would try and prevent her). Remember, MMY tried to get some of his monks to bring Mia Farrow back. They followed her practically to Goa!
Since I knew of two women first-hand, three if you count Mia, (who said that she never f*cked him), they cannot be the only three he ever screwed. I remember in Humboldt there was a stunning South American woman holding some flowers and waiting for MMY to come out of his room. Someone whispered to me that she was rumored to be an ex-girlfriend of his. That means that he was into this shit way before we came on the scene. This lady hadn't been around for years. As far as I am concerned, if there was a rumor like that it had to be true. But in Humboldt I just brushed it off as a rumor.
Ned
-------------------------
From Rob McCutcheon
During this period of time I also was the doorman. MMY ordered a number of expensive saris for Jennifer from India. He would have her dress up in them, and have her put on make up and come to his room late at night. Except that I did not get sent to bed. I had to wait outside the door until Jennifer left. She would appear rumpled and smeared. I also watched her mental state deteriorate. Clearly something bad was going on. Finally she snapped, and fled to Switzerland to hid out with Bev and Fran. When MMY found out she had left, he was beside himself. He would spend hours on the phone trying to coax her back. As I mentioned earlier, I also was the skin carrier in India. A similar scenario to the one Casey described with Jennifer took place with "Amy". When everyone had gone to bed, I would go get "Amy" so that she could "read poetry" to MMY. He would also have her dress up in fancy saris and paint her face. I was in a very strange state of mind about this. Ashok, the Indian boy with whom I was close, became contemptuous about MMY, but I somehow couldn't let the facts into my conscious mind. But I do remember how Ashok and I used to joke about the Poetry Girl in a ribald way that implied that more than poetry was being read. I never talked with "Amy" about this, but when I came to know what was going on with Jennifer I knew the same thing must have been true with "Amy", which Jennifer confirmed. I hope these sordid facts help you get some leverage on your present situation. Bro Robert
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From Rob McCutcheon
"Amy" was in India the second course I was on. I was then the skin carrier, with a young Indian guy named Ashok. Every night after business was done, MMY would have Ashok and me go get "Amy" so she could "read him poetry" before bed. Ashok and I called her the poetry girl. Then, I was so naive that I tried to block out the obvious -- but when things came down with Jennifer, I knew the same had gone on with "Amy", but I never talked with her about it. I am glad to know you did, cuz it confirms what my intuition told me.
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From Ned Wynn
One of the things that amazed me was the distaste with which Jennifer referred to her sex with MMY. She thought it was terrible, he was a shitty lover (of course) and she hated it but did it because well, she was Tom with tits, why else? As for "Amy", she was actually - she told me - in love with MMY. Actually infatuated love with him so she over-looked his premature ejaculations and his unwillingness to eat her maw maw. But he loved them [sexual act deleted, challenged by an individual involved] pretty damn much. He got worried she was too clingy (or he had another ho on the line waiting) so he arranged for the rich [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] guy to take her off his hands even though the [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] was a married man with kids. [Individual involved challenges the veracity of this description of the incident] MMY is one of the most immoral f*ckers I've ever known. He misuses his power in shockingly banal ways, kind of like an aging CEO with his secretaries. The guy has absolutely no style, no class. He's the classic backward Dravidian reactionary, sexually repressed, greedy, hypocritical, and a bald-faced liar.
Ned "Hey, 'Amy', [specific sexual practice deleted, challenged by individual involved]" Wynn
-------------------------
From Ned Wynn
This is the bare bones of what I know, personally, from both Jennifer and "Amy". This email was originally written to Rob so it may be a bit raw and flippant for you. But we (Rob, Casey, and I) are way past being amazed at this. I have known this for thirty years now. These girls told me (and Jane Goe, my former wife) these stories personally. Jennifer called us up and made it a point to come to our house and tell us this story. She was angry about it. She felt that she had been taken advantage of by MMY because of his power and the aura he had. Once the blinders were off she felt abused and cheated, as if she had been f*cked while in a stupor. "Amy"spent a week in our house. It was intimate. I have absolutely no reason to doubt them, though, when I was in your shoes, I doubted Mia Farrow who told me about MMY's overt sexual passes at her. I thought she was mistaken. I no longer believe that this stuff is untrue.
These things also happened, I believe (but have no first-hand knowledge) with April. And a South American woman who was around before we were. There are obviously a number of girls that he screwed that we know nothing about, and it went on for at least twenty years. Someone besides me has got to know this. Jerry, for one. the Australian girls, Bev and Fran. Devindra knew. Billy had to know.
-------------------------
From Ned Wynn
All the conversations with "Amy" (who stayed with Jane and me for a week in Santa Monica) and Jennifer (who lived in Santa Monica when she was first married, to a nice guy named Tim whom she later divorced) took place in our apartment on 19th Street in Santa Monica sometime in the early 70's. The girls were very explicit, there was no coy innuendo. They were forthright and anxious to tell it as it was definitely an unburdening to the only two people they apparently thought would give them a fair hearing and not be dismissive, etc. They did not sound like women who were making anything up or embellishing on a look they got or something. There was no doubting any of the substance of what they told me. These girls were not rumor-mongering or trying to self-aggrandize. they both had completely different points-of-view on Maharishi as I said in a previous email: Jennifer despised him, "Amy" loved him. They both f*cked him. I made sure to ask, did they actually have complete sex, they said yes, though it was less than thrilling to Jennifer.
Ned
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The following is the full text of conversations between Rob McCutchean, Ned Wynn, and Casey Coleman, former personal secretaries of MMY, parts of which were excerpted above:
Thursday, August 29, 2002 6:27 AM
To: "Ned Wynn"
From: "Robert McCutchean"
Subject: Re: Hey
Ned, you are spot-on in what you say about Maharishi and the TM movement. My faith in Maharishi's supposed perfection dissipated when he got sexually involved with Jennifer. Then when she left him and went to hide out in Switzerland with Bev and Fran, I observed him reduced to the status of a quivering adolescent. Then followed a movement ever more dedicated to separating people according to how much money could be bilked from them. This reached its apogee with the recent one-month course that cost a cool million dollars. Poor people, no matter how pure and motivated, need not apply. MMY's personal failures and ever increasing avariciousness are now accompanied by political rants from the medieval ages. However, I shall always be grateful for learning to meditate, and for the opportunity to meet the wonderful seekers I did through the TM movement. Finally, I don't agree the earth was not made to house perfect men. It's just tough to be perfect in our imperfect (but evolving) world. Dr. Robert
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Thursday, August 29, 2002 7:10 AM
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Hey
Jennifer and that other chick who was in love with the rich [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] guy, "Amy". MMY was gaga over her and f*cked her for a while as well. I got a blow-by-blow description of all this from "Amy" (and Jennifer).
I think the earth was made to house people who seek to perfect themselves (as well as to degrade themselves) but that when a person is as close as he can get, he leaves the earth. Of course, I am not a believer in the idea of bodhisattva, so I do not look for reincarnated holy men who may be perfect. I think the earth is a place to work it out and then hightail it to higher places.
You're right about John. He is trying desperately to reconcile two completely opposing systems in his own head. One is the system of madness ("King" Nader Raam, million-dollar courses on videotape, mad spewings that sound like they came from the anti-globalist Know-Nothings, etc. [which might be closer to cunning than madness, like much of fraud is]), the other of sanity (holiness). Where is the line? Is it OK for MMY to restrict the lessons of the spirit to the wealthy? Is this the lesson of Christ or Buddha? Or are the latter, as MMY has always implied, really some rungs down from himself?
Does this even make sense in the Darwinian concept of karma, which MMY cites when he dismisses the suffering of the world as nothing more than the soul in ignorance? The wealthy, in his view, are obviously more evolved, the poor, less. This is antique Indian caste thinking. Bob Gold told me a long time ago that as far as he was concerned, MMY was nothing more than the reflection of his culture, and an exemplar of all that is rigid and immovably hierarchical about India.
The meditation came along in a time in my life when I really needed it. For that I am truly thankful to MMY. But I paid my debt to him and them some by working for nothing for two years (was it three?). One does not owe the guru one's entire life. The meditation does not belong to the guru, much though he might have made it more accessible to more people (this was his greatest achievement whereas the restriction of the "advanced" or esoteric to the few is one of his greatest sins). The meditation belongs to the Spirit and it is men who need and use it. You thank your guru and you get on your way. If you see Buddha in the road, etc. John and the others who remain there are, as Rob says, frightened. They have allowed the guru to define not only their spiritual lives but also their physical, mental, and emotional lives as well.
Actually living in a compound as they do they reminds me of all the failed utopian cults that America was dotted with throughout the 19th Century. These experiments are always doomed to fail because they eventually become as rigid and unyielding to common sense as the most reactionary systems, which they were rebelling against in the first place. Hence all the bureaucratic idiocy that accompanies living in the Global Whatnot. John thinks that if he leaves the Global Whatnot he will never gain "enlightenment." This was the great fear of Brahmachari Devindra when I was with him in Majorca. Finally the man had the good sense to get out, but he could never completely separate himself from the guru. I really believe that one of the tests of spirituality is, in fact, the separation, total and complete, of the disciple from the teacher. Otherwise the teaching is a failure.
Ned
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Thu, 29 Aug 2002 14:08:22 -0700
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey Ned and Rob,
It would seem that if transcending time and space is a requirement for enlightenment then leaving the guru would be too!
Don Juan told Carlos that he owed him nothing. He said, " I gave you my attention and you gave me yours, it was a perfect trade."
Or some such thing.
Brother Casey
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Friday, August 30, 2002 7:28 AM
From: Rob McCutcheon"
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey
Ned, I think you need to write to John and give him the blow-by-blow descriptions you got from Jennifer and "Amy". We need to help this guy get his psychic shit together and extricate himself from the madness he cannot seem to escape. How can he believe MMY is perfect when he claims to be a lifelong celibate yet screwed young girls? And even though you might explain these sordid facts away by claiming that he was enlivening their Shakti or some such nonsense, nothing can explain away his adolescent angst and frantic attempts to convince Jennifer to come back. The movement came to a halt while he spent hours on the phone like a heartbroken teenager. But it all just goes to prove what the ancient Tantra Shastras say: Ain't nothing put a whuppin' on a man, Like the power of a pussy can.
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Fri, 30 Aug 2002 09:01:21 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
To: Rob
Subject: Re: Hey Ned and Rob,
I used to go get Jennifer the last thing at night so she could help MMY with the mail. She would be wearing a robe with just her underwear under it. I did not think anything of it. The ideal of the Bodhisattva is the same as Jesus' commend---love your neighbor. Brother Casey
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Fri, 30 Aug 2002 09:44:54 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
To: John Doe
Subject: E-mail and its power
John, Isn't e-mail incredible! Information moves very fast! As you have read Ned, Rob and I have been talking about you. We are all in the same boat: the boat on the way to enlightenment and as such we are in the dark as to exactly what the truth is. All of our paths will change before the goal is reached. You have to step out of the boat when you across the river! Thanks for continuing to send me great e-mails. Are you doing ok with George, Ned, Rob and I picking on you? I know you are!
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Fri, 30 Aug 2002 10:09:18 -0400
From: Rob McCutcheon,
To: Ned Wynn CC: brothercasey@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Hey
Ned, You are so fun to read. I didn't know you knew "Amy". She was in India the second course I was on. I was then the skin carrier, with a young Indian guy named Ashok. Every night after business was done, MMY would have Ashok and me go get "Amy" so she could "read him poetry" before bed. Ashok and I called her the poetry girl. Then I was so naive that I tried to block out the obvious -- but when things came down with Jennifer, I knew the same had gone on with "Amy", but I never talked with her about it. I am glad to know you did, cuz it confirms what my intuition told me. I know your Protestant deism does not accept the idea of the Bodhisattva, but I can't escape the conviction that if a person were realized, that would the proper course of action for them to take. Take care brother. Dr. Robert
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Fri, 30 Aug 2002 14:25:10 -0500
From: "George Burns"
To: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: da Babes Date:
One thing I thought of is this. A few years ago when John first mentioned the girls (after reading Ned's book), I just didn't believe it. Now, I could believe it, but it doesn't seem to make much difference to me (not nearly as much difference as him charging so much for TM). I don't think a little fooling around is as much of a sin as hiding this knowledge from the world. Another thing that came to my mind was this. A monk may have maximum power up in the mountains being 'singular'. But for achieving things in the material world, maybe it takes both the male and female energies working together to accomplish things. He may have had a close personal friendship with these girls (could have even been sexual if that's what it took), so that he could generate the type of energy necessary to create the effect needed to put things into motion in the material world. Sounds reasonable to me. Just a thought.
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Friday, August 30, 2002 2:46 PM
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey
One of the things that amazed me was the distaste with which Jennifer referred to her sex with MMY. She thought it was terrible, he was a shitty lover (of course) and she hated it but did it because well, she was Tom with tits, why else? As for "Amy", she was actually - she told me - in love with MMY. Actually infatuated love with him so she over-looked his premature ejaculations and his unwillingness to eat her maw maw. But he loved them [sexual act deleted due to a challenge to a made by an individual involved] pretty damn much. He got worried she was too clingy (or he had another ho on the line waiting) so he arranged for the rich [nationality deletedat the request of an individual involved] guy to take her off his hands even though the [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] was a married man with kids. MMY is one of the most immoral f*ckers I've ever known. He misuses his power in shockingly banal ways, kind of like an aging CEO with his secretaries. The guy has absolutely no style, no class. He's the classic backward Dravidian reactionary, sexually repressed, greedy, hypocritical, and a bald-faced liar.
Ned "Hey, "Amy", [specific sexual practice deleted, challenged by person involved]" Wynn
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Friday, August 30, 2002 3:11 PM
From: John Doe
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
You haven't picked on me very much, and I wouldn't consider talking about any point a personal attack. I would appreciate getting some more details from Ned so I know these things really happened. It is mind blowing. I just got home. Later, John
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Fri, 30 Aug 2002 18:09:21 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Fwd: Re: Fw: Hey
John, Even though I am forwarding this to you I do want to say I think Ned is a little more negative than need be. "Amy" was very cute and any man would have had a hard time saying no to her if she was coming on to him. I do not think that MMY having sex says much about him at all except that he is human. I am not going to be the first person to throw the stone. As we learned from our last president all men will lie about sex and they can still be great and good men in spite on it.
Brother Casey PS. The [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] guy was very happy to take her back to [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] and set her in her own apt. as his mistress.
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Fri, 30 Aug 2002 18:16:24 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
To: "John Doe" CC: "Robert McCutchean" ,"Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
John,
This is the bare bones of what I know, personally, from both Jennifer and "Amy". This email was originally written to Rob so it may be a bit raw and flippant for you. But we (Rob, Casey, and I) are way past being amazed at this. I have known this for thirty years now. These girls told me (and Jane Goe, my former wife) these stories personally. Jennifer called us up and made it a point to come to our house and tell us this story. She was angry about it. She felt that she had been taken advantage of by MMY because of his power and the aura he had. Once the blinders were off she felt abused and cheated, as if she had been f*cked while in a stupor. "Amy"spent a week in our house. It was intimate. I have absolutely no reason to doubt them, though, when I was in your shoes, I doubted Mia Farrow who told me about MMY's overt sexual passes at her. I thought she was mistaken. I no longer believe that this stuff is untrue.
These things also happened, I believe (but have no first-hand knowledge) with April. And a South American woman who was around before we were. There are obviously a number of girls that he screwed that we know nothing about, and it went on for at least twenty years. Someone besides me has got to know this. Jerry, for one. The Australian girls, Bev and Fran. Devindra knew. Billy had to know.
I did not publish this in my book out of deference to Maharishi, and I actually talked Jennifer out of taking it to a magazine at the time (early 70's). I would not do so now. There is absolutely no point in hanging onto an image of someone when it is this clear the image is false. It does not forward one's own trek toward enlightenment. MMY has always laughed this stuff off and made it seem like people are just trying to bring him down, etc. Or, as Rob says, he might claim it was the excitement of Shakti. Well, it's ALWAYS the excitement of Shakti, right? So what is the excuse? A dick is a dick, a pussy is a pussy, and ever the twain shall meet and splash around.
Casey is too kind to Maharishi. He is wrong. When a person in Maharishi's position, with status, personal power, and pretensions to enlightenment, uses his female disciples in this way it is scandalous and wrong. And when he lays a fake trip on his male disciples about celibacy and all that rot, it is wrong.
Ned
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Friday, August 30, 2002 6:24 PM
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: da Babes
Paul, I would also think there is something to that. He wanted to be successful in the world and all the woman were coming on to him, it had to be hard on him. I also agree on the sex vs. money, his quest for name and fame and money are worse than any sexual indiscretions. And they were short term and temporary. Brother Casey
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Fri, 30 Aug 2002 18:50:03 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
Ned, Ned you can not stop trying to be entertaining and funny. I thought my time of celibacy then and now is and was very useful. I recommend it. Next life time I am going to be a monk right off! Unless "Amy" comes on to me. I would have a hard time saying no. It had to be unbelievably hard in the 60's to be celibate. And they were all coming on to him!! Don't we still love Bill Clinton? He was entertaining, Ned! And so was and is MMY! Brother Casey
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Fri, 30 Aug 2002 19:21:01 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
To: "Casey Coleman" CC: "Robert McCutchean"
Subject: Re: da Babes
Paul, you are falling back into the rhythm that MMY wants you to. There is no point in thinking it is some kind of Vedic thing, either. Maharishi f*cked girls because he was horny. He used them. It was not equal, it was not enlivening to the women's spirits, whatever. Don't try and excuse this guy on these actions. He is a hypocrite. He tells us he is Brahmachari and he is not. He urges us to be celibate then he f*cks our chicks. Come on, man. If he had never pretended to be a Brahmachari then OK. In that case, he never said he wasn't f*cking them. But I am sure he used the ruse on them that his spiritual juice would lead them more quickly to enlightenment, or at least he let them think that it might. He was not forthright. Remember, this is a man in his fifties at the time, an adult. He was not a twenty-year old kid. He's got karma to pay, pure and simple.
It matters because as a disciple, I, and Rob and Casey, all bought his line and he used everyone up. The women were, of course, old enough to know better. But he had extraordinary power and he misused it. It is every bit as bad as the money, because it is about trust. You must absolutely be able to trust your guru. If he tells you flat out that he is celibate, then he better be celibate. If he slips, he has to cop to it and rethink who he is. When Maharishi was in Spain, I heard him say that many of the holy men in India used to say, "If Maharishi leaves India and goes out into the world, he is lost." Then Maharishi tossed his head back and laughed. The message was that those old Indian guys were fools, that MMY could not be corrupted by the "world." Well, they must have known him better than he did himself, because he is corrupt and he was corrupt then. That does not mean that he did not bring a valuable tool to us in the form of TM, but it does mean that for any true advancement in life, it is best to shake the dust of his movement, and his person, off your sandals and move on.
Ned
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Saturday, August 31, 2002 8:20 AM
To: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey
Ned, I can't but agree with your description of MMY. I am very interested to know when you talked with Jennifer and "Amy". Were we still all in Europe or did you talk with them later after we were stateside? Dr. Robert
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Saturday, August 31, 2002 8:41 AM
To: "Ned Wynn" Cc: "Casey Coleman" ; "Robert McCutchean"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
Casey, Ned is absolutely right. Bill Clinton never claimed to be perfect -- MMY did. And in Jennifer's case, it really f*cked up her mind, she was badly hurt and damaged. And I do not believe that she came on to MMY. She was taken advantage of in a destructive and hurtful way, and that is not ok. Dr. Robert
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Sat, 31 Aug 2002 10:40:13 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re another thing to consider :
Rob, Casey, John,
Remember something else: MMY claimed to hold Guru Dev in the highest esteem. He literally worshiped the guy. And remember also that he took vows of celibacy to this very guru and then broke them. One of the reasons I did not take the vows of celibacy with MMY in Majorca (I went all the way into the room with him where the Puja was to be done and told him I could not do it - Rob was outside the door and he was the first one I told about it when I came out) was because I knew instinctively I would not be able to keep them and I did not want to lie to Maharishi. Can you imagine the cataclysmic aftershock to a real, believing Hindu who lied and betrayed not only his disciples but his guru? WAKE UP!
When Paul says that the money was worse he is ignoring the above transgression of the guru/disciple/guru relationship and the sanctity of that bond. Either you are a truly religious man or you are not. Maharishi is not. So no one owes him one moment of loyalty from that point of view at least.
Ned
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Sat, 31 Aug 2002 11:34:39 -0400
To: Ned Wynn
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power Ned, You are absolutely right. It is the misuse of power and the hypocrisy that is unforgivable that rankles. Dr. Robert
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Sat, 31 Aug 2002 17:57:51 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: Re another thing to consider
Ned, Rob and John, Hurting another person with sex is sin or functioning under the influence of ignorance or a demon----no doubt about it! MMY was not perfect. And the last line of Ned's e-mail where he says we owe MMY no loyalty, I would comment on by quoting Emmet Fox.
"Remember that the Truth of Being concerns Itself with the infinite, the impersonal Principle of Life; and does not lend itself to the exploitation of particular organizations. You do not owe an a John of loyalty to anyone or anything in the universe except your own Indwelling Christ, your own spiritual integrity." Brother Casey
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Sat, 31 Aug 2002 10:33:18 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Fw: Hey
All the conversations with "Amy" (who stayed with Jane and me for a week in Santa Monica) and Jennifer (who lived in Santa Monica when she was first married, to a nice guy named Tim whom she later divorced) took place in our apartment on 19th Street in Santa Monica sometime in the early 70's. The girls were very explicit, there was no coy innuendo. They were forthright and anxious to tell it as it was definitely an unburdening to the only two people they apparently thought would give them a fair hearing and not be dismissive, etc. They did not sound like women who were making anything up or embellishing on a look they got or something. There was no doubting any of the substance of what they told me. These girls were not rumor-mongering or trying to self-aggrandize. they both had completely different points-of-view on Maharishi as I said in a previous email: Jennifer despised him, "Amy" loved him. They both f*cked him. I made sure to ask, did they actually have complete sex, they said yes, though it was less than thrilling to Jennifer.
Ned
--------------------
Saturday, August 31, 2002 6:09 PM
From: "Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power
Rob,
Yes! it is an misuse of power and a hypocrisy, but unforgivable???????? Do you really mean that!! I doubt it. But if so, I would carefully reconsider your position in the light of the law of karma that says we are forgiven as we forgive.
Brother Casey
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Sat, 31 Aug 2002 20:50:43 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: E-mail and its power Casey,
I agree, basically, with the thrust of Rob's message. Maharishi broke the sacred trust, the rule that bonds guru and disciple. Perhaps this was intentional (to make us leave), but either way, if it was intentional then the result is the same: break away, if not, break away. In the teleological sense, breaking away is required. Forgiveness, I think, is the choice of the individual, it is not a given. I don't feel the need to forgive MMY because I harbor no grudge against him. In a sense, I believe MMY's transgressions are actually against the Spirit, not against me or you. The disciples are the Spirit because they approach the guru in innocence and trust, just as the Spirit makes itself available to all who seek it, without partisanship. Rich, poor, old, young, male, female, black, white, the Spirit is open to all who seek it. The disciples, in the Hindu tradition, make themselves available to the guru to refine them and make them whole (holy). The guru welcomes the disciple and cares for him because the disciple brings the guru the greatest of gifts, love and obedience. By accepting the disciple the guru brings himself into contact with the Spirit. It is of tremendous spiritual import to the guru to have disciples. They are not petitioners, they are partners in the Spirit (as Christ said to his disciples, "I call you friends.") Christ even washed his disciples' feet. The guru is the Servant. He must be truly humble. If he lies and cheats, then he is violating an essential spiritual law. If he says he is Brahmachari and he is not, he transgresses a sacred boundary.
Maharishi needs to make amends. He needs to take to heart the lesson of submission, of surrender. Amendment of life when we have sinned against the Spirit is the greatest action we can take because it affirms our willingness to bow to the Spirit and to do the will of God. Maharishi never makes amends. He is arrogant and willful. I think it is completely reasonable for the disciple, disappointed in the guru's sinfulness, to be angry with him. And it is essential that the disciple, when he encounters a willfully disobedient guru, to leave that guru. If, later in life, the disciple comes to the conclusion that the guru was misguided (if, as you say, infested with a demon, or, as I think, compounded in his sin by ego and self-love), then the disciple may forgive the guru. But MMY continues in his sins, he wallows in his transgressions, and thus he has lost the love and care of the holy men in his own country. They know who he is. They warned him. But he thought he was above the rest. This is a problem that MMY will have to solve. So far I see no indication of anything in that direction. He remains grandiose, dictatorial, and unrepentant. When I speak of repentance I know that Rob will think, "Protestant Deist." But repentance is not foreign to Hinduism or Buddhism. It merely means a return to our right relationship with God, a relationship of complete surrender on our part and total Love on God's. Maharishi has no humility, and I think in the end that is his downfall. Sex is just a trap that is set to catch the arrogant and willful. Money, ditto. In and of themselves they are nothing. But, taken in the context we're exploring, they are indications of the unsuitability of Maharishi to be anyone's guru.
Ned
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Sun, 1 Sep 2002 10:17:28 -0400
From: "Casey Coleman"
To: Ned Wynn
Ned, I am sorry you talked her out of it, but I understand your impulse to protect her. Unfortunately, her silence enabled MMY to continue his nutty movement. In other movements where the guru's malfeasances did come out, there was hell to pay. I just read a book on the fall of Richard Baker, the head of the Zen temple in San Francisco. His followers chucked him out. In other cases, devotees left in droves when the truth came out about the misbehavior of their supposed perfect gurus. I myself planned to write a book about the subject. I even had an agent in New York who was sure the book would sell. My tentative title was "Robes of Silk, Feet Of Clay." I had the chapters all blocked out. But then I got a letter from Vernon Katz who, evidently at MMY's prompting, told me it was my responsibility as a former disciple to continue to respect the guru. I don't know why, but I found myself persuaded by Vernon, and I just couldn't go through with it, loving Vernon as I did. So it is to my discredit too. Robert
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Thu, 05 Sep 2002 08:57:09 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
My memory on the dates is not good at all. I couldn't even tell you the year. But at one point I had the job of being the door keeper to MMY. I let everyone in to see MMY and was with him as long as he was awake. I couldn't do this job for long because I needed more sleep than he did. I do not remember how many times (but something like four or five) the very last thing at night or early in the morning (2am) when everyone was gone and it was just me and him, he would tell me to go get Jennifer to do the mail. I would then go get her, she would be sleeping and would get up and come with me in her robe and underwear (I just happened to notice that she didn't have PJ'S under the robe) then the two of us would go into the room to do the mail. But after a few minutes MMY would tell me I could go rest, which I was very happy to do. The thought of them having sex never came into my mind. I have never talked to Jennifer about it. I have only heard about it second hand from Ned, Rob and Billy. But then thinking back on it I wonder why I couldn't have seen the obvious. But here is something also interesting. Right at this time MMY got all fired up that woman should not cook for him, that woman cooking for him or even being in his kitchen was having some negative effect on him. He started having John P cook for him. And John was told to keep all people out of the kitchen. I know this because I used to go and cook some food for myself in his kitchen and John found out about it and threatened me with a rolling pin! So I think he was trying to find the reason for the desires that were showing up in him. I hope this is helpful. Brother Casey
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Thu, 5 Sep 2002 09:11:22 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
To: "Casey Coleman" Gents,
Fascinating about MMY's search for reasons. What I wanted to say was that MMY was looking for some reason why he was horny, and settle on the fact that women were cooking for him. How absurd. Of course having John Pisculic do the cooking would put a crimp in anyone's sex life, but Maharishi refused to take responsibility for any of the things he did. Like f*cking his disciples. He did it because he was horny. Like the rest of us. Woman cook, man cook, the fact is that we are endowed with hormones and so are women and so we feel these things. Acting on them is entirely beyond the scope of who fries your chapattis. I am a married man. I love my wife. I would not cheat on her. But I still feel sexual desire for other women. It's the acting on the hormonal information that is at the root of MMY's trouble. And that is an element of self-control. His looking for some reason outside himself to blame is pure MMY. It's the whole "influence of karma" game. We know right from wrong. If we've done wrong we should try and alter our behavior instead of looking for mystical reasons and "sexual vibrations" coming from the kitchen.
Ned
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Thu, 05 Sep 2002 10:13:38 -0500
Dear John,
On jury duty, I'd heard before maybe on TV something about the saying in the law that there's nothing like cross i.e. cross-examination.
The opportunity to subject claims to scrutiny.
For me, I've received some emails about some claims from your friends according to your mutual friends. For all I know some hacker could be posing as you on the internet.
Or there may be a miscommunication or the perception of the two women may be clouded.
I know you're convinced.
But I've seen 12 ANGRY MEN many times and I majored in philosophy under a Methodist minister who had a PhD from Columbia U and had been the national debating champ at Emory and has the longest transcript of any witness (reluctant) ever to appear before the notorious HUAC (in July 1953 for 3 days.)
He emphasized question raising.
Clarification questions: what do you mean by this?
And critical questions: how can you say this here when you say that there or how can you say this is red when this established authority says it's blue.
It's all Nyaya. Rules of engagement. Defining terms.
There is nothing like cross.
Sometimes people lie under oath, break down on the stand, confess that their confessions were coerced, turn out to be multiple personalities.
Did you see Verdict with Paul Newman? Did you see Presumed Innocent with Harrison Ford.
I don't know these 2 women or the 3 guys from Adam even though maybe we've been on courses and the three guys ring a bell.
I recall a dark haired petite gal named "Amy", sort of a disciple type, but I don't recall her last name.
There is nothing like cross.
Children create stories of being molested. Women create stories of being raped. Gay lovers play head trips with each other.
My professor was smeared in college by a Presbyterian minister in Louisville who sent hate mail to students, faculty, alumni and parents resulting in an all campus meeting presided over by the then college president. Present were Enloe, Mary Drew, me, the entire campus, and Pierce Lively, an alum and person high in the judiciary system.
Brooks Landson, a student and now Chairman of the English Dept at U of Iowa in Iowa City asked the guy during Q & A about the commie literature he was waving. It gradually emerged that it was Quaker literature.
Those of present at that meeting will never forget that night and consider it one of the most memorable moments in our entire education.
Everyone spoke who wanted to. Anyone could ask the professor anything. I was his devoted student and friend and I asked right off, "Are you a Communist?" Not that it mattered.
There is nothing like cross.
And the presumption of innocence.
I have been the victim of many false stories in the movement which when I heard them, those I was lucky enough to hear, I had to laugh.
In these Ashcroft times, has M been informed of the charges, been given an opportunity to respond, been subjected to cross-examination? M says it's good to clear the air.
Ok, there is intuition and there are, for some, credible witnesses but for me I withhold judgment pending more information and even then I withhold judgment pending exploration of possible explanations.
Thank you for sharing all this with me but the effect, if not the intent of some accusers, is to discredit someone whose credibility is otherwise impeccable.
Remember when M said that after about 2 years of being around Guru Dev he wasn't making any mistakes, he'd locked in on the master's vibe.
Moreover, I hear no plausible explanation for this behavior.
Best,
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Thursday, September 05, 2002 10:47 AM
Dear Ned, If Casey is talking about the La Antilla courses then the time period is the first 6 months of 1971, right?? I wonder what date those courses ended and when Jennifer fled to Switzerland?? Were you and Rob also Door Keepers and did you also escort or see Jennifer go into MMY's room late at night?? John
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The 1972 - 1973 TTC's LaAntilla: October '72 to May '73. Punta Umbria: January '73 to May '73. Seelisberg: March '73 to May '73.
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Thu, 5 Sep 2002 11:18:47 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn"
To: "John Doe" CC: "Robert McCutchean" ,"Casey Coleman"
John,
Rob and I also were door keepers. Yes, we saw her go in late at night. April also went in late at night, but she never got the opportunity to tell anyone anything before the plane went down. I never put together the fact that Jennifer went in at night with anything sexual. I was totally blind to it. Now that I put it all together, Jennifer and "Amy" both would wander out of MMY's rooms at around 4:30 or 5 am (on different courses, of course, "Amy" was after Jennifer). What the hell were they doing up all night? Reading to him, of course, and taking dictation.
I was on at least three courses in Mallorca. I was at the very first course there, which would have started in early 1971, January, in fact. The last course I was on was in the summer of 1972. I was there the whole time except when I was sent to other countries to teach. When Jennifer left, Rob has hit it squarely. MMY was like a pimply-faced soul-sick geek. The whole floor was somber. Everyone was silent, looking around, worried, anxious. Jennifer is gone. Where is Jennifer? Where is Jennifer? Somebody will get her? Yes? Not here? But where she is?
I had no idea where she is. When Maharishi made these plaintive whines about her he would look at each of us as if we could produce her out of a hat. Or as if we had possibly conspired to help her (I did not, but some others may have had the guts to help her. I never knew that she was going. She was afraid to tell me, she said later, because she didn't know how deeply I was into the whole thing, and that I might tell MMY she was leaving and he would try and prevent her). Remember, MMY tried to get some of his monks to bring Mia Farrow back. They followed her practically to Goa!
Since I knew of two women first-hand, three if you count Mia, who said that she never f*cked him, they cannot be the only three he ever screwed. I remember in Humboldt there was a stunning South American woman holding some flowers and waiting for MMY to come out of his room. Someone whispered to me that she was rumored to be an ex-girlfriend of his. That means that he was into this shit way before we came on the scene. This lady hadn't been around for years. As far as I am concerned, if there was a rumor like that it had to be true. But in Humboldt I just brushed it off as a rumor.
Ned
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Thu, 5 Sep 2002 11:28:06 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn" John,
Most of those courses were three months long. If the dates are right then Jennifer fled to Switzerland in the Spring, like in March or April of 1971. I did not arrive back in the U.S. until July-August of 1972, and Jennifer did not talk to Jane and me until 1973 when we all lived in Santa Monica. Same with "Amy". I would say that "Amy" showed up sometime after she returned from [country deleted at the request of an individual involved] where she was with her rich, married [nationality deleted at the request of an individual involved] guy. That could have been 1973 or 1974. MMY had gotten rid of her. I have no idea who the next girl was. I believe that if anyone is still in contact with Billy, that he would know. I would be curious to know what Billy thinks of all this.
Ned
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Thu, 05 Sep 2002 16:52:18 -0700
From: "Casey Coleman"
Ned, Billy has his own stories to tell, he is much, much more negative than any of us. He was there longer and it cost him more money! And to you John I forgot to say that I heard about MMY's sexual adventures from Jane also. And she was the most convincing one of them all! Brother Casey
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Thu, 05 Sep 2002 20:41:13 -0500
Subject: Fwd: emails
From: "Ned Wynn"
Gents,
Obviously these emails are getting around. I didn't think, when I started yapping about all of this, what the ramifications might be, but the Internet is amazing. I hope that this info will help people to see clearly what they are into and make their decisions coolly, with eyes open. I am not at all unhappy with this, but I did not initially intend it. I have long since ceased to worry about how I am thought of in the TM movement. My book was published in 1989, so the little tidbit has been there for thirteen years. I am sure that I am on the hit list and have been for a long time. I consider it a badge of honor.
It has only been over the past five years or so, since Casey started sending me the garish magazines and all, that I saw how completely over-the-top this whole thing has gotten. Now with this King Nader character, it has become comedy, but the tragedy of people wasting their energy, their creativity, and their health in the service of MMY's grandiose visions is always present. John's view as a rational, if disturbed, insider is invaluable.
As it says in the King James (an actual King, BTW), "...And immediately there fell from his eyes as it had been scales: and he received sight forthwith, and arose." Acts 9:18
Ned
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Friday, September 06, 2002 6:50 AM
To: "Ned Wynn"
Subject: Re: Mo' frum da Lawd
Casey, You have brought up something important with the kitchen thing. If a man has extinguished ignorance and is living the bliss of Brahman, how can who cooked his food give him a hard on? This story demonstrates MMY's inability to take responsibility for his own shit, and to blame it on innocuous causes -- causes he should be above if he were really who he represents himself to be. Bro Robert
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Fri, 6 Sep 2002 09:30:12 -0400
From Rob McCutcheon
To: Casey Coleman
During this period of time I also was the door man. MMY ordered a number of expensive saris for Jennifer from India. He would have her dress up in them, and have her put on make up and come to his room late at night. Except that I did not get sent to bed. I had to wait outside the door until Jennifer left. She would appear rumpled and smeared. I also watched her mental state deteriorate. Clearly something bad was going on. Finally she snapped, and fled to Switzerland to hid out with Bev and Fran. When MMY found out she had left, he was beside himself. He would spend hours on the phone trying to coax her back. As I mentioned earlier, I also was the skin carrier in India. A similar scenario to the one Casey described with Jennifer took place with "Amy". When everyone had gone to bed, I would go get "Amy" so that she could "read poetry" to MMY. He would also have her dress up in fancy saris and paint her face. I was in a very strange state of mind about this. Ashok, the Indian boy with whom I was close, became contemptuous about MMY, but I somehow couldn't let the facts into my conscious mind. But I do remember how Ashok and I used to joke about the Poetry Girl in a ribald way that implied that more than poetry was being read. I never talked with "Amy" about this, but when I came to know what was going on with Jennifer I knew the same thing must have been true with "Amy", which Jennifer confirmed. I hope these sordid facts help you get some leverage on your present situation. Bro Robert
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Fri, 6 Sep 2002 09:46:31 -0400
Subject: Re: emails
Ned, Like you, my only connection with all of this has been through Casey. He would send me the movement mags occasionally and it just turned my stomach. But since we have gotten into all of this, I have been feeling badly for all of the people who have given their lives to this and are now materially and psychically harmed as a result. I hope your powerful emails get wide distribution in Oz.
Bro Robert
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Fri, 6 Sep 2002 16:08:30 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn" CC: "John Doe" ,"Casey Coleman"
Subject: Re: Mo' frum da Lawd Rob,
What is interesting is that, while it is clear to us that Maharishi acted like a horny teenager (he was in his fifties, the girls in their twenties), to some others there arises a discussion of Brahman and ego, and intellect's incapacity to make decisions, etc. The facts are hard to confront without a curtain of metaphysics to hide behind.
Some things do not need to be over-explained. If a guru f*cks his disciples he is doing wrong. If he is supposed to be enlightened, then he is really doing wrong since he "knows" better. He is not living in ignorance and cannot use that as his excuse. It's hardly a question of when and how the individual decides to do right or wrong, it's a question, as Casey says, of having a moral code that tells him how to live and then essaying to live by it. Maharishi was indoctrinated in India with a strict moral code. Sex with one's disciples is not OK in that code. He knows the rules. All that seems to have happened is that he has decided that he is not bound by any of them, including the vow of celibacy he took to his revered Guru Dev. For those in the movement who put any store at all by vows given to one's guru, how is that permissible? And how, knowing MMY's behavior, would anyone honor any vow they might make to him? I believe that the very people who find all this so terrible and mean would hesitate before ever making the kind of commitment to him that many of us made back then.
I think it is understandable for people like John's friend to be upset and to lash out at us. As time goes along, and as these thoughts settle, it will become clearer why we are saying what we are saying. And again, to those who are listening in: this did not start out as a public service. These emails were circulated among a very few people and I personally never intended them to go farther. However, lest some think that I am shrinking from my position, I am glad they have. I now know there is a wider readership than I had heretofore imagined. I will continue to write these messages to Rob, Casey, and John, as I have been, with all the same arrogance and indiscretion I can muster. After all, it's my trademark.
Ned
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Fri, 6 Sep 2002 16:20:54 -0700
From: "Ned Wynn" To: "Casey Coleman" CC: "John Doe" ,"Robert McCutchean"
Rob,
This is by far the most revealing of all our emails. Without having to indulge in nasty, poo-poo dirty revelations, we see MMY in all his fetishistic grandeur. Dressing up his little American girls like little Indian girls, the saris, all the makeup, etc. And then having at them. Do I smell Madonna-Whore? Do I smell Oedipus? Your recounting of the way it worked is way more telling than anything I have said regarding what the girls revealed about the actual sexual encounters (which made Jennifer sick to her stomach to talk about). This is really at the crux of his psychological problems. He got to f*ck all those beautiful out-of-reach Indian women by tarting up some American girls to look like them, etc. And you know Ashok knew damn well what was up. So did Devindra though he would never say anything untoward. He would do it with looks. Too much of a gentleman, or just too damn scared.
This was some of your best writing, by the way.
Ned
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Mon, 9 Sep 2002 21:30:47 -0400
From: Robert McCutchean
To: Ned Wynn CC: Casey Coleman
Subject: Re: What is Enlightenment?
Ned, Definitely a Dick moment. I agree with Ned -- MMY is not enlightened, therefore sex with disciples is not ok. But if I believed he were enlightened, then as Ned points out, sex would be ok. For example, suppose Trungpa were Enlightened. We know he had sex with his disciples. But he wasn't a hypocrite about it. It is hard to say what made me finally conclude MMY wasn't an enlightened being. Certainly the sexcapades were part of it, and the hypocrisy, and the obvious attraction to money and elevation of those who had it, and the increasing paranoia/demonology, and the increasing bad taste of the names for increasing nutty programs, and the inflated and delusional claims to saving the world -- but you know what finally got me -- his cruelty to those who served him. I remember Angelika von Killischorn -- she was the first western brahmacharini just like I was the first Brahmachari, Casey second, and Ned would have been third except he had more sense than Casey or I. And one day MMY was getting ready to go somewhere, and A von K brought him a glass of water. And he took a big drink and then spit it all over her as if it were sulfuric acid. And then he told someone else to go get him water (from the same jug), and they brought it and he drank it, and I watched A von K die inside. Then I watched her deteriorate into madness -- she was somehow unworthy to bring the master water -- he had to spit it all over her. She may still be in a mental institution. And something in me said that an enlightened man should be able to drink a glass of water brought to him by anyone -- provided it wasn't sulfuric acid. And in that moment the seamless garment of MMY's perfection began to unravel. Bro Robert
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Mon, 16 Sep 2002 15:30:47 -0500
Dear Casey, Joe Schmoe just told me a story that kind of scared me. I sent the emails to both Joe and Jane Doe. On the first or second day she saw Joe and asked him what he thought. Now Joe says he said it was 30 years ago and he doesn't know what happened or cares that much. And Joe said MMY is a man and anything could be possible. Jane went mad that Joe didn't condemn the ideas. Joe went to the dome that night and 2 guys came up to him and said they hear he is spreading rumors about MMY. Joe conveyed that Jane Doe went many times more nuts than I could imagine. This is slightly scary. Later, John
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Tue, 17 Sep 2002 10:36:57 -0500
http://www.ex-premie.org/papers/gp_quotes.htm
"Gurus do give special attention to those with wealth or power; having celebrities in one's entourage increases coffers, influence, and membership."(p.89)
"In the realm of sexuality, the two prevalent ways control is exerted are through promulgating either celibacy or promiscuity...both serve the same function: they minimize the possibilities of people bonding deeply with each other, thus reducing factors that compete with the guru for attention." (p.92)
"Celibacy does allow one to maintain a certain kind of control of one's energy and emotions. It also conforms with images of purity. Therefore, it is far easier for a guru to gain and maintain power if he is celibate - or pretends to be."(p.92)
"Gurus who preach celibacy while secretly engaging in sexuality present sex as an esoteric initiation ritual or advanced spiritual exercise that must be kept hidden... But it is the lie, not the sex, that's the real issue. The lie indicates the guru's entire persona is a lie, that his image as selfless and beyond ego is a core deception."(p.95)
"The standards of purity necessary for the role of guru must bring unconscious repression and filtering mechanisms that ensure deceit and hypocrisy around self-interest,"(p.106)
Being a guru "...creates a feedback-proof system where the guru always needs to be right and cannot be shown to be wrong - which is where learning comes from." (p.107)
"Why would even the most realized of beings want people to become reliant on his wisdom instead of their own?" (p.108)
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Wednesday, October 23, 2002 12:31 PM
Subject: Re: Pebbles and Sandcastles
Brothers, This last email brought to mind an earlier email where the subject of the difference between Religion and Spirituality was broached. This discussion about MMY lying about the mantras seems to me to fall into a category of a mixing or confusion or definition about the realms or boundaries of Religion and Spirituality. Where as Religion could be characterized as a collection of dogma, Spirituality could be characterized as a matter of Intent. A matter of clarity and experience of Intent. These discussions seem to argue on a deeper level Maharishi's Intent. It seems to me that what brings us together is Intent. Some kind of collective Intent. Could Maharishi's Intent have changed? Has each one of our Intents have changed since we started Meditation?
For me all the "scientific gobledy gook" of the movement seemed to obscure the original Intent. I was always interested in "God" and "Truth" and "Knowledge" and "Wisdom." I can remember when I went to my first TM lecture and I thought the lecturer was not very clear or conscious of what the actual Intent of the meditation was. I thought that it was because he had not had a clear enough "Spiritual" experience.
What I hear from each of you is a deeper and clearer explanations of your Intents. Of what "God", "Truth", "Knowledge" and "Wisdom" mean to you. Once I heard Maharishi say that "Evolution means Growth of Love." That matched my Intent precisely. Perhaps I would say "Life is for Growth of Love."
Om, Becky
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Saturday, October 26, 2002 11:48 AM
From: Ned Wynn Sent: Subject: Re: Pebbles and Sandcastles
Beck,
Let me throw a bit more Hoffer at you in preamble to my own thoughts on this:
"The [leader of a mass movement] is eclectic in the methods he uses to endow the new order with stability and permanence. He borrows from near and far and from friend and foe. He even goes back to the old order which preceded the movement and appropriates from it many techniques of stability, thus...establishing continuity with the past. The institution of an absolute dictator...is as much the deliberate employment of a device [a 'king', a 'government', 'advanced techniques'] as the manifestation of a sheer hunger for power. Byzantinism is likely to be conspicuous at the...decline of an organization." Eric Hoffer, The True Believer brackets are mine
In my mind the movement has been in its latter, (stagnating) phase for some years. The active phase was over by 1975 or earlier. I would date the beginning of the decline to the institution of the siddhas, whenever that was. Hence, any changes that we see now are the result of the increasing "Byzantinism" of the movement. This is meant to hold the true believers together (against the "outside" world, hence Burns classic true believer outburst against us "doobie" smokers who point our "little fingers" at him, etc.), keeping them meek (the girls lining up for the 'king'), convinced (Burns), and in place (John, Burns, the rest, especially those at Fairfield and other TM enclaves), while at the same time rewarding the ambitious, career-minded Officers-of-Rank (only within the confines of the movement itself) with more titles and perks (nothing "real" nothing in the outside world, hence the utter failure of the Natural Law Party to ever win anything, the failure to actually get any government to accept this in the schools or government institutions, etc.); creating "necessary" institutional "improvements" to facilitate the establishment of Global Peace; blaring out, through a megaphone named Powell Woods, Goebbels-like "urgent" new directives (nothing urgent about them at all. Totally bogus. I mean totally, utterly bogus) for which the believers must suddenly be galvanized to new action, to extend/protect the goals of the movement (and to continue to think they - the believers - are important, that they "count;" they do count, but not for the reasons they think. They are merely a source of money).
Never expect anything in the movement to be pure anything. It was the search for purity that brought most of us in the first place, but we never encountered it (purity) there. It was in reaction to the outside, impure, world. The world was too grotesque, corrupt, painful, wrong, greedy, mean, warlike, nasty, brutish and short. So we responded to something that was advertised as the root of all right action, the basis for a new beginning, based, as Casey points out, on the Sanatana Dharma (not stated in the beginning of TM as such) or "original intent" of all spiritual learning and living. Becky points out the disjunction between religion and spirituality. I think it is endemic to the teaching. The spirituality of TM is the religion. You can try and separate them, but the mantras, the pujas, all that, they are religious.
My point is this: there never really was anything "pure" about TM, including the intent. To think that is to continue to safeguard our own early days, our own ideas about ourselves, to assume that we were, once, attached to something good and wonderful which was then corrupted. I don't believe this is right anymore. I now think the corruption was inherent in the original moment of its (TM's) creation. MMY set out to deceive from the beginning - for whatever reasons, to save the world, whatever, deception was at its core. We were part of that deception though we did not then know exactly what it was or how it worked.
I certainly understood from the beginning that there was some "stretching" of the truth when we lectured and when we initiated. But, as with all true believers, I chose to go along with this because I had bought into the idea that the end justified the means. I could behave in a not-altogether-forthright manner (i.e., I could lie) because a greater truth was being served. There was no such thing as cheating or being unfaithful as there was only one thing that demanded our faith - MMY and TM, inextricably bound. Everything else was up for grabs. Hence the idea of cheating in business. I remember Jerry Jarvis wondering aloud in Kashmir why the Muslims could cheat us so readily and without any apparent pangs of conscience. I said to him that, what I understood was that to the Muslims, we were the Infidel. We did not have the standing in the universe that the Muslim did. The Infidel may be cheated, lied to, killed. All with impunity. To a lesser extent, this mindset exists in the TM movement today.
This is how all mass movements work, it is how they gain adherents, especially in the early days. If I did not have this willingness in me, this willingness to bow to a "greater" authority (not God, mind you, a human authority, a guru), I would never have been involved in the movement. I would have meditated, taken what I could from that, and moved on. So I do not bemoan anything that is taking place in the movement today. The movement, seen objectively, is almost a cliché of all mass movements. Each phase is mirrored in some already clearly understood and delineated outline of mass movement behavior. It's a well-recognized pattern. Rob has a fascinating article he wrote concerning the ways in which TM follows a predictable course. It (the course of the movement) is not unusual, in fact it is the norm. TM is on schedule. It will finally sink, irretrievably, into the black hole of failed ideas once MMY has exhausted all avenues of financial annuity, and he dies. No Bevan Morris or a guy named Nader Raam or a Keith Wallace is going to save it.
I have taken this tack because I think I need to be clearer on my own behavior. George Burns has illustrated to me what I used to be like. I argued as he does, I thought I was the one who was clear and it was others who were wrong. They just didn't get it. As Casey put it to him, all the scriptures, all the philosophers, all the Hindus, everyone in history is wrong, but George is right. That argument has no weight with George. He is still perceiving reality from inside the bubble. Maya has many levels. One level of Maya is the level in which one thinks he has escaped Maya. He has become a "knower of reality." That was one of MMY's early sucker plays. In order to keep a mass movement going, the leader separates the believers from all the "others," the unbelievers (see radical Islam), the ignorant non-meditators, the unenlightened, those who are somehow "asleep." Once isolated, he inoculates the believers with more dope (advanced meditations, siddhis, separate habitations, new habits, rules about how to build a house, how to live in it, etc.) so that the believer's own sense of his specialness is enhanced. I am this temple of the knowledge of the ancients, a vessel of truth. Now the believer has a lot invested. His very consciousness is invested in the movement. What happens to him if he leaves? He will shrivel. He will die. Burns has a lot to protect. John ditto. I understand. I thought I did too.
Ned
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Thu, 02 Jan 2003 22:12:23 -0500
Yes, the Mia incident at Rishikesh could be taken as an innocent thing, but because Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, in the greater context of the time, was an aggressive sex maniac, the correct interpretation is that it was a sexual advance. Also it is very inappropriate to take a lady alone into your basement and put your arms around her. Also I think it is significant how much time MMY had spent courting her every day for weeks before the incident. Long last the truth comes out on why Beatles left. Because Mia told them what MMY did to her.
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The end, for now.
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