Here is yet another lens through which to view Maharishi Mahesh's many promises. He told us that regular practice of TM would lead to both continued and permanent improvements in ones life, and that attending TM retreats would lead to exponentially quicker growth. But what were the actual results? What were the results for me? What were the results for you?
Cumulative results? When I first learned TM, I felt calmer, more productive, more energetic. Every day I felt better than the day before. That continued for about 2 months. After that, even though I kept meditating twice a day, I didn't feel any continued improvement. I plateaued. Mahesh promised us that by practicing TM twice a day, we were on our way toward "the unfoldment of our true potential," but after those first 2 months, I didn't notice any additional changes.
Permanent results? When I learned the TM-Sidhis technique, sometimes I felt euphoric, at one with the universe, more confident, joyful, loving and energetic. But when I stopped doing the TM-Sidhis, I went back to feeling the same way I had felt before I had started. (In addition, when I stopped, I went through a period where I felt emptiness and panic . It felt like descriptions I have read of people withdrawing from opiates. I suspect that the TM-Sidhis was activating a brain chemical similar to the one that opiates and addictive behaviors activate).
What about "rounding?" "Rounding" is the procedure for meditating more than two times a day. It is done on TM retreats ("residence courses"). In my day, one "round" consisted of yoga postures, then yogic breathing, then TM, then lying down. Mahesh promised us that rounding exponentially speeded up one's growth. That is, doing TM eight times in one weekend was supposed to lead to more personal growth than doing TM eight times over the course of four days. But actually, I never saw any fast growth from residence courses. I would often get relaxed on retreats, and the relaxedness would continue for a while after I returned. After a a weekend retreat, I'd be mellow for 3 days; after a six-month retreat, I'd be mellow for about a month. But after that, I'd be back to my usual self.
What about you? Did TM fulfill its promises of cumulative benefits, lasting benefits, and more rapid benefits from rounding?
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Friday, December 31, 2010
Transcendental Meditation's Testimonials
"I lost 150 pounds in 4 weeks!" (RESULTS NOT TYPICAL.)
When I look at pro-Transcendental Meditation websites, I often find testimonials of people pleased with the results of TM. Some of these testimonials are deeply moving, even heart-wrenching.
Scientists call testimonials "anecdotal evidence," and it is poor science. That's because while a testimony is suggestive of what may be worth studying, it is far from proof. Testimonials do not take into account that for every one person with a positive experience, there may be many with a neutral or even negative experience. They do not take into account the long-term effects of the product. They do not take into account the subjectivity of the testifier. (Note, for example, the paper about TM commonly called the "German Study," which observes that some TMers extolled the efficacy of TM while ignoring their increased anxiety and depression.) There are many reasons why anecdotal evidence is a poor scientific tool.
But for those of us who were deeply involved in the TM movement, positive opinions about TM may have been the only opinions we heard. After living on a TM course for 1.5 years and hearing only positive testimonials, I came to believe that everyone who learned TM had positive results. And for non-TMers who are looking for ways to improve their lives, these testimonials may seem quite convincing.
"I was always afraid. Now I am peaceful inside - and
I am getting A's." - Student
"For years I was tortured by my memories. Now I have a way out of the darkness." - Former soldier
"I am winning my battle with demons of drugs. Thank
you for this, David Lynch." - Homeless person
(from the davidlynchfoundation.org website.)
I am sorry for these people's suffering, and I am glad they found some relief through TM. But are these results universal? Are they typical? Are they even frequent? Can other modalities accomplish the same or better results more effectively or less expensively?
So to help recovering TMers who may have been mind-controlled into believing that TM is the answer for everybody, and to help non-TMers who are trying to decide if they want to learn TM, here is my own compilation of TM testimonials. And I didn't even solicit or pick over testimonies to find critical ones. They are just quotes or paraphrases from random acquaintances whom I have met over the years:
"When I learned TM, it didn't seem like anything special. There were other types of meditations I had learned that, from the first time I did them, I knew they were a practice I wanted to continue for a long time. I didn't feel that way about TM." - Social worker, 2008.
"When I first learned TM, I thought it was great and wanted to become a TM teacher. Except I felt the organization was too cult-like. Years later I learned to relax using biofeedback, and I couldn't believe the experience. I had never had such deep profound relaxation in my life." - Psychotherapist, 2010
"I was one of those people TM didn't work for." - Lawyer, 2008
"The first three days of TM was fabulous. It got me higher than the recreational drugs I used. But after a few days the high wore off, so I stopped meditating." - College student, 1972
"What results have I gotten from TM? Well, I used to take a nap when I got home from work every day. Now after work I do TM instead of taking a nap. No, no other benefits." - Elementary school teacher, 1974
"When I first started TM, I stopped taking drugs and drinking. But after a few years, I went back to the drugs and alcohol. Years later, I learned a different type of meditation. That got me off substances permanently. Also, TM left me feeling spacey, but the new meditation left me feeling grounded." - Retired secretary, 2008
"I started TM because I was a compulsive gambler and was desperate to stop. I saw the research charts on TMers stopping alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, so I thought maybe it could help me. Four months in, and I'm sorry to report it has done me no good." - Engineer, 1974
Now it's your turn. Would you like to share your TM results, or the results of people you know? Or your experiences with being mislead by TM publicity? Or anything else?
When I look at pro-Transcendental Meditation websites, I often find testimonials of people pleased with the results of TM. Some of these testimonials are deeply moving, even heart-wrenching.
Scientists call testimonials "anecdotal evidence," and it is poor science. That's because while a testimony is suggestive of what may be worth studying, it is far from proof. Testimonials do not take into account that for every one person with a positive experience, there may be many with a neutral or even negative experience. They do not take into account the long-term effects of the product. They do not take into account the subjectivity of the testifier. (Note, for example, the paper about TM commonly called the "German Study," which observes that some TMers extolled the efficacy of TM while ignoring their increased anxiety and depression.) There are many reasons why anecdotal evidence is a poor scientific tool.
But for those of us who were deeply involved in the TM movement, positive opinions about TM may have been the only opinions we heard. After living on a TM course for 1.5 years and hearing only positive testimonials, I came to believe that everyone who learned TM had positive results. And for non-TMers who are looking for ways to improve their lives, these testimonials may seem quite convincing.
"I was always afraid. Now I am peaceful inside - and
I am getting A's." - Student
"For years I was tortured by my memories. Now I have a way out of the darkness." - Former soldier
"I am winning my battle with demons of drugs. Thank
you for this, David Lynch." - Homeless person
(from the davidlynchfoundation.org website.)
I am sorry for these people's suffering, and I am glad they found some relief through TM. But are these results universal? Are they typical? Are they even frequent? Can other modalities accomplish the same or better results more effectively or less expensively?
So to help recovering TMers who may have been mind-controlled into believing that TM is the answer for everybody, and to help non-TMers who are trying to decide if they want to learn TM, here is my own compilation of TM testimonials. And I didn't even solicit or pick over testimonies to find critical ones. They are just quotes or paraphrases from random acquaintances whom I have met over the years:
"When I learned TM, it didn't seem like anything special. There were other types of meditations I had learned that, from the first time I did them, I knew they were a practice I wanted to continue for a long time. I didn't feel that way about TM." - Social worker, 2008.
"When I first learned TM, I thought it was great and wanted to become a TM teacher. Except I felt the organization was too cult-like. Years later I learned to relax using biofeedback, and I couldn't believe the experience. I had never had such deep profound relaxation in my life." - Psychotherapist, 2010
"I was one of those people TM didn't work for." - Lawyer, 2008
"The first three days of TM was fabulous. It got me higher than the recreational drugs I used. But after a few days the high wore off, so I stopped meditating." - College student, 1972
"What results have I gotten from TM? Well, I used to take a nap when I got home from work every day. Now after work I do TM instead of taking a nap. No, no other benefits." - Elementary school teacher, 1974
"When I first started TM, I stopped taking drugs and drinking. But after a few years, I went back to the drugs and alcohol. Years later, I learned a different type of meditation. That got me off substances permanently. Also, TM left me feeling spacey, but the new meditation left me feeling grounded." - Retired secretary, 2008
"I started TM because I was a compulsive gambler and was desperate to stop. I saw the research charts on TMers stopping alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, so I thought maybe it could help me. Four months in, and I'm sorry to report it has done me no good." - Engineer, 1974
Now it's your turn. Would you like to share your TM results, or the results of people you know? Or your experiences with being mislead by TM publicity? Or anything else?
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Book Review. In the Shadow of Fame: A Memoir by the Daughter of Erik H. Erikson by Sue Erikson Bloland, 2005, 219 pages.
Commentors and contributors to TM-Free have been recommending relevant books for some time. I have recently read a few of these, and thought you might enjoy some book reviews. This review is fourth in a series.
Erik H. Erikson, Ph.D., was a renowned psychologist of the "second generation" after Freud. He was a child psychologist, author and theorist. He added to Freud's theories by positing that the social and cultural environment, and not only the intrapsychic environment (inner drives, etc.) influence the child and help determine what sort of strengths and weaknesses the individual will come to have. He also disagreed with Freud regarding the developmental stages of human life, replacing Freud's "psychosexual stages of development" (oral, anal, phallic stages) with "psychosocial stages" (hope, will, purpose, competence, etc.) Therapists today tend to favor Erikson's, rather than Freud's, theory of developmental stages.
This is the autobiography of Erik H. Erikson's daughter, who grew up in the giant shadow cast by a man idolized by the psychological community of his day. His public face, seen through movies, lectures, interviews, and books, radiated a "compassionate paternal authority" as the "quintessential parent and provider of emotional nourishment to the young." But Bloland grew up with the "real" Erikson, and he was very different.
Bloland went on to become a psychologist herself, and her life experience "in the shadow" of her father led her to specialize in the study of fame. Here are some of the things she discovered:
1. A person's public face can be very different from their private face.
2. They can exhibit greatness in their public life and mediocrity in their private life.
3. Fame does not heal core issues, such as loneliness and insecurity.
4. Fame does not imply inner greatness.
5. Unresolved issues can lie surprisingly close to the person's area of expertise.
Bloland got to see the all-too-human side of her father, who was a distant and mediocre parent. He was insecure and uncomfortable in social situations, and most comfortable and capable of intimacy only when he was at work or discussing his work. He had low self-esteem, didn't turn to therapists when he had personal problems, and lied to his children to save himself the awkwardness of having to deal with their feelings.
Bloland also observed a "system" by which people were eager to idealize Erikson as a godlike figure. Sometimes when she introduced herself to psychologists as Eric H. Erikson's daughter, they would say, "May I touch you?" Erikson abetted their idealization because he was brought to life by their adoration. The family also abetted in preserving his public image. Bloland's mother, for example, would not confide freely to her best friend because "it would hurt Dad's reputation."
Bloland discovered that sometimes fame is an outcome of a painful childhood. While childhood trauma often makes people less functional, sometimes it causes the child to bury him/herself in a study or practice in order to avoid the intolerability of home life. Mikhail Baryshnikov, the ballet dancer, who was raised by his curt, cold soldier father, is an example of this. Or sometimes a child will fanatically pursue a field in order to make a connection with a parent who is otherwise unavailable. Charlie Chaplin fell into this catagory, pursuing acting to connect to his mother, who was an actress before she descended into mental illness.
Fame can be an addiction. It produces a "high." The public's adoration can temporarily fill the void left by parental neglect. The comedian Jerry Lewis reported that applause sounded like "Good baby, good baby." But like other drugs, the sense of well-being only lasts briefly, and then the person is left to face their inner pain again. They need another dose; and like other addictive substances, the person needs ever larger doses to feed their emptiness. They never feel they've ever really made it, (although they believe their role models have.) For that reason, retirement is problematic for them, for they never have a sense that enough has been accomplished.
Fame does not provide healing, because the person experiences the fame as directed towards their public persona, not their true being. On the other hand, even minor criticism, is experienced as a critique of the real self. The more spectacular the grandiose image, the more self-contempt and shame the person may feel for the extent of their duplicity.
The anthropologist and philosopher Ernest Becker wrote in his book The Denial of Death, "We must have heroes...because the real world is simply too terrible to face without them." We are born helpless and vulnerable. It is intolerable to believe that our parents will not protect us. Idealization lets us feel safe enough to grow and discover our real self. But the people we idealize are only slightly different from ourselves. The price we pay, noted Erich Fromm, the social psychologist and philosopher, is that we diminish our belief in ourselves, which heightens our anxiety and helplessness.
Bloland says that we never fully lose the tendency to idealize others. Despite her expertise on fame, she found she could hardly breathe when she met Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Bloland suggests that what we need to do is to continue to examine our idealizations, and ponder how they may be inhibiting our growth. She says a particularly useful approach is to notice our anger at how our idealization deprives us of ourselves.
Erik H. Erikson, Ph.D., was a renowned psychologist of the "second generation" after Freud. He was a child psychologist, author and theorist. He added to Freud's theories by positing that the social and cultural environment, and not only the intrapsychic environment (inner drives, etc.) influence the child and help determine what sort of strengths and weaknesses the individual will come to have. He also disagreed with Freud regarding the developmental stages of human life, replacing Freud's "psychosexual stages of development" (oral, anal, phallic stages) with "psychosocial stages" (hope, will, purpose, competence, etc.) Therapists today tend to favor Erikson's, rather than Freud's, theory of developmental stages.
This is the autobiography of Erik H. Erikson's daughter, who grew up in the giant shadow cast by a man idolized by the psychological community of his day. His public face, seen through movies, lectures, interviews, and books, radiated a "compassionate paternal authority" as the "quintessential parent and provider of emotional nourishment to the young." But Bloland grew up with the "real" Erikson, and he was very different.
Bloland went on to become a psychologist herself, and her life experience "in the shadow" of her father led her to specialize in the study of fame. Here are some of the things she discovered:
1. A person's public face can be very different from their private face.
2. They can exhibit greatness in their public life and mediocrity in their private life.
3. Fame does not heal core issues, such as loneliness and insecurity.
4. Fame does not imply inner greatness.
5. Unresolved issues can lie surprisingly close to the person's area of expertise.
Bloland got to see the all-too-human side of her father, who was a distant and mediocre parent. He was insecure and uncomfortable in social situations, and most comfortable and capable of intimacy only when he was at work or discussing his work. He had low self-esteem, didn't turn to therapists when he had personal problems, and lied to his children to save himself the awkwardness of having to deal with their feelings.
Bloland also observed a "system" by which people were eager to idealize Erikson as a godlike figure. Sometimes when she introduced herself to psychologists as Eric H. Erikson's daughter, they would say, "May I touch you?" Erikson abetted their idealization because he was brought to life by their adoration. The family also abetted in preserving his public image. Bloland's mother, for example, would not confide freely to her best friend because "it would hurt Dad's reputation."
Bloland discovered that sometimes fame is an outcome of a painful childhood. While childhood trauma often makes people less functional, sometimes it causes the child to bury him/herself in a study or practice in order to avoid the intolerability of home life. Mikhail Baryshnikov, the ballet dancer, who was raised by his curt, cold soldier father, is an example of this. Or sometimes a child will fanatically pursue a field in order to make a connection with a parent who is otherwise unavailable. Charlie Chaplin fell into this catagory, pursuing acting to connect to his mother, who was an actress before she descended into mental illness.
Fame can be an addiction. It produces a "high." The public's adoration can temporarily fill the void left by parental neglect. The comedian Jerry Lewis reported that applause sounded like "Good baby, good baby." But like other drugs, the sense of well-being only lasts briefly, and then the person is left to face their inner pain again. They need another dose; and like other addictive substances, the person needs ever larger doses to feed their emptiness. They never feel they've ever really made it, (although they believe their role models have.) For that reason, retirement is problematic for them, for they never have a sense that enough has been accomplished.
Fame does not provide healing, because the person experiences the fame as directed towards their public persona, not their true being. On the other hand, even minor criticism, is experienced as a critique of the real self. The more spectacular the grandiose image, the more self-contempt and shame the person may feel for the extent of their duplicity.
The anthropologist and philosopher Ernest Becker wrote in his book The Denial of Death, "We must have heroes...because the real world is simply too terrible to face without them." We are born helpless and vulnerable. It is intolerable to believe that our parents will not protect us. Idealization lets us feel safe enough to grow and discover our real self. But the people we idealize are only slightly different from ourselves. The price we pay, noted Erich Fromm, the social psychologist and philosopher, is that we diminish our belief in ourselves, which heightens our anxiety and helplessness.
Bloland says that we never fully lose the tendency to idealize others. Despite her expertise on fame, she found she could hardly breathe when she met Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Bloland suggests that what we need to do is to continue to examine our idealizations, and ponder how they may be inhibiting our growth. She says a particularly useful approach is to notice our anger at how our idealization deprives us of ourselves.
I read this book wondering if it could give me some insight into Maharishi. Does Maharishi match the template of someone pathologically driven by the hunger for fame? Like Erikson, Maharishi's charismatic, saintly public face differed greatly from his "off-duty" persona. I had to read comments from former members of his staff to learn what an "average," "human" sort of person he was in private.
Like Bloland's family, we who idealized Maharishi covered for him to keep him looking good. We didn't ask him the embarrassing questions, we made excuses for his inconsistent behavior. Like Erikson's admirers, we thought his touch could bless. "Will you touch my coral beads?"
Like Bloland's fame seekers, Maharishi never felt he had accomplished enough. He kept adding ideas, teachings, beliefs, organizations, titles, plans to his movement. Two months before his death at age 89, he was still expanding his dream. Like other famous people, he believed that his role model, Guru Dev, had achieved true greatness. (Incidentally, Guru Dev did not seem afflicted by the hunger for fame.)
Did Maharishi experience criticism to be directed at his true self, as Bloland writes? Possibly. I recall on my Teacher Training Course in 1974, a student told Maharishi that Maharishi was mistaken about something. Maharishi drew himself up to his full height and anger flamed from his eyes. "I?! I am mistaken about something?!" he demanded.
Bloland noted that a great deceiver feels shame around their deception. Could this explain why Maharishi felt contempt for those who idolized him?
Bloland says that sometimes fame springs from an unhappy childhood. We know little about Maharishi's childhood, but we do know that he had an older brother who was so bullying that Maharishi left home at an early age to live with an uncle.
Finally, Bloland notes that unresolved issues can lie surprisingly close to the area of expertise. I am reminded that, despite Maharishi's supposed expertise in the area of ayurvedic medicine, when he had a heart attack, he turned to western medicine.
So what do you think? What need or needs drove Maharishi? The desire for fame? The desire for power? Sex? Money? To feel loved? To feel like a good person? To spiritually uplift humanity? To create world peace? Revenge? What?
Sunday, June 22, 2008
the second sutra of the yoga sutras
yogaś citta vṛtti nirodhaḥ
The difficult word, of course, is vṛtti. Yoga is the cessation of the vṛtti of the citta, mind.
The ways in which this has been explained have mounted up like dunes in a great desert. Do any of the explanations work (help us produce useful results)? Patañjali himself offers explanation in the following sutras, but just why his explanations seem to go unnoticed or unexplored remains a mystery to me. Many people seem to think he is saying that yoga is stopping the mind! Yet, it is perfectly clear that he is saying that yoga is stopping the vṛtti OF the mind.
One way to understand vṛtti is through a simple example: suppose you are looking through a kaleidescope. You can stop the light/citta/mind easily enough. But then what do you have? Nothing. It’s very difficult to make do with nothing.
Or, you can take the kaleidescope away and you are left with light/citta/mind. This is much more useful, especially in the dark. Yoga is taking away, removing, just dropping like something useless the distractions to the light.
All well and good. You don’t stop thought, you stop the distractions that obscure the thought. What is thought? For me, Mahesh has been woefully inadequate in clarifying this. We all, of course, say we experience thought. No mystery there. However, what are we experiencing and what are we calling “thought”?
If we remove the kaleidescope/vṛtti then what remains? We can make vague references to consciousness, but what is that? What is it that tells us about what we see when we look through the kaleidescope? Awareness, I think, is something relatively uncomplicated here. How do I know I am aware? Obviously, I only need to ask myself what I am aware OF.
When I take away the thing I am aware OF, then there is just awareness. When I let the vṛtti subside, then what is left? Awareness.
Yoga is letting the kaleidescope of the mind simply fall away, yoga is abandoning the obscurations to awareness. “Letting” is an important word here. We are not “trying” to do anything, to make something happen or cease happening. That is built-in, automatic and something even Mahesh had to recognize in his checking procedure.
We notice quiet and silence. It is just there. It always has been.
We do not have to add any more steps by adding some new distraction, some “better” kaleidescope. Some name of a god, as if that somehow greased the wheels of some mechanism or some meaningless word, which itself seems kind of meaningless when you think it through.
What we really and truly need, we have always had.
We only have to rest in the awareness of our own awareness. No big deal, yet a very big deal, indeed. Almost all of life’s activity is based upon what we are aware OF as opposed to awareness itself. Yes, we have unknowingly let awareness itself become obscured, like dust gathering on a surface as opposed to awareness itself unobscured being the primary mover in the processes of living our lives.
Cultivating yoga, then is a really good thing. We were born with awareness. We don’t need Mahesh’s more and more obscuring it. We only need to be aware of it, just as it is.
There is no other purpose in writing this than to demonstrate how simple Patañjali’s teaching is and how unnecessary the sand dunes of Maheshism are. Paul has beautifully demonstrated his understanding of Patañjali and Hugo has confirmed that he does not find it unrewarding.
The real secret is that there is no secret. You have always known the secret, you just didn't know you knew! Now, you do.
The difficult word, of course, is vṛtti. Yoga is the cessation of the vṛtti of the citta, mind.
The ways in which this has been explained have mounted up like dunes in a great desert. Do any of the explanations work (help us produce useful results)? Patañjali himself offers explanation in the following sutras, but just why his explanations seem to go unnoticed or unexplored remains a mystery to me. Many people seem to think he is saying that yoga is stopping the mind! Yet, it is perfectly clear that he is saying that yoga is stopping the vṛtti OF the mind.
One way to understand vṛtti is through a simple example: suppose you are looking through a kaleidescope. You can stop the light/citta/mind easily enough. But then what do you have? Nothing. It’s very difficult to make do with nothing.
Or, you can take the kaleidescope away and you are left with light/citta/mind. This is much more useful, especially in the dark. Yoga is taking away, removing, just dropping like something useless the distractions to the light.
All well and good. You don’t stop thought, you stop the distractions that obscure the thought. What is thought? For me, Mahesh has been woefully inadequate in clarifying this. We all, of course, say we experience thought. No mystery there. However, what are we experiencing and what are we calling “thought”?
If we remove the kaleidescope/vṛtti then what remains? We can make vague references to consciousness, but what is that? What is it that tells us about what we see when we look through the kaleidescope? Awareness, I think, is something relatively uncomplicated here. How do I know I am aware? Obviously, I only need to ask myself what I am aware OF.
When I take away the thing I am aware OF, then there is just awareness. When I let the vṛtti subside, then what is left? Awareness.
Yoga is letting the kaleidescope of the mind simply fall away, yoga is abandoning the obscurations to awareness. “Letting” is an important word here. We are not “trying” to do anything, to make something happen or cease happening. That is built-in, automatic and something even Mahesh had to recognize in his checking procedure.
We notice quiet and silence. It is just there. It always has been.
We do not have to add any more steps by adding some new distraction, some “better” kaleidescope. Some name of a god, as if that somehow greased the wheels of some mechanism or some meaningless word, which itself seems kind of meaningless when you think it through.
What we really and truly need, we have always had.
We only have to rest in the awareness of our own awareness. No big deal, yet a very big deal, indeed. Almost all of life’s activity is based upon what we are aware OF as opposed to awareness itself. Yes, we have unknowingly let awareness itself become obscured, like dust gathering on a surface as opposed to awareness itself unobscured being the primary mover in the processes of living our lives.
Cultivating yoga, then is a really good thing. We were born with awareness. We don’t need Mahesh’s more and more obscuring it. We only need to be aware of it, just as it is.
There is no other purpose in writing this than to demonstrate how simple Patañjali’s teaching is and how unnecessary the sand dunes of Maheshism are. Paul has beautifully demonstrated his understanding of Patañjali and Hugo has confirmed that he does not find it unrewarding.
The real secret is that there is no secret. You have always known the secret, you just didn't know you knew! Now, you do.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Shattering the Glass House
The cultic relationship, or so it seems to me, is far more transparent than our own perception - at least our perception at the time of dwelling in what is, essentially, a glass house. So many can see in and so few can see out, yet the glass remains glass, not more, not less.
One of our contributors suggested looking into compiling statements about what was the "last straw" or the "golden wakeup moment" that "liberated" us from that dwelling or mind-set. I thought it might be useful to compile those stories, if anyone cares to share, in one place. I have put the rudiments of a beginning together, here. Perhaps, at some point, this entire thread can be put somewhere in the material on the right of our Blog for future reference or reporting -
(Sudarsha, another research project for you?) to learn what was the "final straw" for each individual who left the TM movement. ...
Laurie | 06.06.08 - 11:06 am |
Very interesting, Laurie. I hadn't thought of this particular body of possible data. For myself, I'm not exactly when the straw came along, the "golden wakeup moment" -
Maybe when I asked Mahesh for something to help me get stronger and he more or less laughed at me and said 'first get stronger and then ask' that started the ball rolling, The rolling stone actually had been gathering moss for a long time and now it was getting too obvious to not see.
But, I really don't know.
If people are interested in contributing their "exit" stories, their "golden wakeup moment[s]" I'd be happy to put them in some form (don't know what yet).
Anyone who is interested can send stories to
sudarshaisnamaskar@gmail.com
But I think maybe it would also be good to share them here as well because it might be helpful for everyone.
Sudarsha | 06.06.08 - 12:08 pm |
My wake up call came when my good friend who was one of MMY's lawyers and also a Siddhi instructor quit the biz because he realized he "wasn't teaching anything" AND confessed that it was his job to procure chicks for the Rish.
I called my bestest buddy, who had worked at the center with me and gone to teacher training with me, at MIU, and told her about MMY's lack of fidelity to his supposed celibacy and she hung up on me.
I never heard from her again......all the friends are gone.....and I started waking up with a 'start'!
ANANDA | 06.06.08 - 2:59 pm |
I sense in your words, Ananda, that you have successfully balanced loss and gain, past and present, present and future. If we are dying of thirst, even the most evil person we know can give us a glass of water. Whether or not such a person chooses to might be another story, of course. But what Mahesh gave or with held is not the case. What is the case is that we chose, we decided we took charge and broke the cultic relationship.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Dr. Benson and the Faith Factor
I remember when Dr. Benson was one of the performing acts in the TMO circus. Of course, then, it was called an SCI Symposium. Dr. Benson was brilliant. I remember enjoying his very extensive talk. And I remember that he wasn't interested in being one of Mahesh's "acts" (like Orm-Johnson and Hagelin, et al.). It must also be noted that Dr. Benson specifically did not learn TM so that it would not interfere with his opinions or prejudice his research, I do not believe that this is something that the people who have turned out the 600+ TM "scientific studies" are able to legitimately affirm as part of their research protocol.
Then, of course, heresy of heresies, Dr. Benson took Mahesh up on his suggestion to study TM. I'm sure the current take on this by the TMO is extensively edited. But it was indeed Mahesh who recommended that Dr. Benson study the results of TM.
Dr. Benson did just this. And for the benefit of many Dr. Benson formulated the Relaxation Response. Actually, Dr. Benson formulated a simple, natural method to elicit the relaxation response, deep but conscious rest.
The text The Relaxation Response is still a best seller and can be learned quite successfully and inexpensively from the text or from many health care facilities in the US and Canada.
I recommend, for example, http://www.vhl.org/newsletter/vhl1997/97dafait.htm as an interesting source for seeing what the basics are all about and how faith and belief influence our daily lives. As well, please take a look at the Benson-Henry Instutite for Mind Body Medicine (http://www.mbmi.org/home/).
Best wishes to all of our readers for a healthy and prosperous New Year, one free from cult thought and cult mind control.
Sudarsha and the Editors of TM-Free
Then, of course, heresy of heresies, Dr. Benson took Mahesh up on his suggestion to study TM. I'm sure the current take on this by the TMO is extensively edited. But it was indeed Mahesh who recommended that Dr. Benson study the results of TM.
Dr. Benson did just this. And for the benefit of many Dr. Benson formulated the Relaxation Response. Actually, Dr. Benson formulated a simple, natural method to elicit the relaxation response, deep but conscious rest.
The text The Relaxation Response is still a best seller and can be learned quite successfully and inexpensively from the text or from many health care facilities in the US and Canada.
I recommend, for example, http://www.vhl.org/newsletter/vhl1997/97dafait.htm as an interesting source for seeing what the basics are all about and how faith and belief influence our daily lives. As well, please take a look at the Benson-Henry Instutite for Mind Body Medicine (http://www.mbmi.org/home/).
Best wishes to all of our readers for a healthy and prosperous New Year, one free from cult thought and cult mind control.
Sudarsha and the Editors of TM-Free
Monday, October 29, 2007
ADULT CHILDREN OF CULT MEMBERS
The therapeutic needs of adult children of cult members (ACOCMs) are quite different from those of cult members who joined as adults. The primary task of an adult cult member in recovery is to reconnect with his or her persona as it existed before joining the cult. An ACOCM, who was exposed to a cult from birth or before 14 years old, has no pre-cult identity to fall back on. Their plight has received much less attention from cult scholars until recently.
In my work with therapy clients who are adult children of cult members (ACOCMs), I have been struck by the similarities of their characteristics and those of adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs). I was drawn to explore this connection because I observed that many adult children appeared to protect their parents from any blame for what my clients endured as children — and continue to suffer as adults. This tendency is very prevalent among ACOAs and has been noted in the literature for years. The more I researched ACOAs, the more parallels I found.
The items below are adapted freely from similar characteristic lists publicly available for ACOAs. I also wish to gratefully acknowledge Gina Catena, MS, herself an ACOCM, for her patience, generosity, and persistence in offering her insights and suggestions, as well as allowing me the privilege of reviewing an unpublished manuscript on ACOCMs. It was Ms. Catena that pointed out the central similarity between addiction psychology and cultic abuse psychology: In time, an addiction comes to determine one's total life direction; in time, a cultic obsession/compulsion can similarly restrict a cultic relationship. I must also thank my clients who have all been a source of inspiration for me in so many ways.
It is also important to note that the International Cultic Studies Association asserts that addiction psychology does not reflect the themes of cultic abuse psychology. (Also, they use the term "Second-Generation Adults" to refer to adult children. I do not use this term because it is not easily understood by readers outside of an academic audience.) While I respect and admire the research and history of ICSA, my observations have led me to different conclusions, and I hope to write more on this topic in the near future.
Below I outline the challenges facing adult children that I've observed — along with corresponding strengths they appear to exhibit. I also include tasks I believe they must accomplish to recover from their cultic relationships.
I caution readers from treating the items below as a laundry list of symptoms — and, at that, drawn from a fairly small and narrow group of individuals. Many of my clients have left Transcendental Meditation, because of my background with TM, but others have left other, similar groups. I observe similarities in the challenges veterans of all these groups face. I, however, am not aware of any research on this topic, so please treat this material as a starting point for discussion and research only. Please also note that no clients exhibit all these characteristics.
Characteristics of Adult Children of Cult Members
Loosely adapted from Characteristics of the Problems of ALANONs and ACOAs, with gratefully acknowledged additions and corrections from Gina Catena, MS and my clients.
John M. Knapp, LMSW
KnappFamilyCounseling.com
In my work with therapy clients who are adult children of cult members (ACOCMs), I have been struck by the similarities of their characteristics and those of adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs). I was drawn to explore this connection because I observed that many adult children appeared to protect their parents from any blame for what my clients endured as children — and continue to suffer as adults. This tendency is very prevalent among ACOAs and has been noted in the literature for years. The more I researched ACOAs, the more parallels I found.
The items below are adapted freely from similar characteristic lists publicly available for ACOAs. I also wish to gratefully acknowledge Gina Catena, MS, herself an ACOCM, for her patience, generosity, and persistence in offering her insights and suggestions, as well as allowing me the privilege of reviewing an unpublished manuscript on ACOCMs. It was Ms. Catena that pointed out the central similarity between addiction psychology and cultic abuse psychology: In time, an addiction comes to determine one's total life direction; in time, a cultic obsession/compulsion can similarly restrict a cultic relationship. I must also thank my clients who have all been a source of inspiration for me in so many ways.
It is also important to note that the International Cultic Studies Association asserts that addiction psychology does not reflect the themes of cultic abuse psychology. (Also, they use the term "Second-Generation Adults" to refer to adult children. I do not use this term because it is not easily understood by readers outside of an academic audience.) While I respect and admire the research and history of ICSA, my observations have led me to different conclusions, and I hope to write more on this topic in the near future.
Below I outline the challenges facing adult children that I've observed — along with corresponding strengths they appear to exhibit. I also include tasks I believe they must accomplish to recover from their cultic relationships.
I caution readers from treating the items below as a laundry list of symptoms — and, at that, drawn from a fairly small and narrow group of individuals. Many of my clients have left Transcendental Meditation, because of my background with TM, but others have left other, similar groups. I observe similarities in the challenges veterans of all these groups face. I, however, am not aware of any research on this topic, so please treat this material as a starting point for discussion and research only. Please also note that no clients exhibit all these characteristics.
Characteristics of Adult Children of Cult Members
- Challenge: Some adult children of cult members (ACOCMs) may tend to feel sorry for their parents, feeling they were not to blame for their cult involvement. In fact, the adult child may see parents as victims that he or she needs to protect. The ACOCM may have been parentified at an early age, becoming responsible for adult tasks because the cult member parents were not capable of performing them.
Strengths: Adult children may tend to "take charge" of their lives.
Recovery Tasks:- To reclaim the appropriate emotions, desires, and experiences that they may have missed as children.
- To allow significant others to care for them when appropriate.
- To learn to see parents as flawed human beings who have made both healthy and unhealthy choices in their lives — and who must take responsibility for changing any dysfunctional behaviors.
- Challenge: Some adult children may be isolated from friends, family, and community.
Strength: These individuals may form independent, self-reliant lives at an early age.
Recovery Tasks:- To avoid unnecessary emotional cutoffs of family and friends.
- To see family and friends as complete human beings — with both strengths and weaknesses — and to love them for who they are and what they can give us.
- Challenge: Some adult children may fear taking part in groups, no matter how benign, such as churches or self-help groups.
Strength: Society needs its independent thinkers. Intelligent, sensitive outsiders have had unique viewpoints to offer others throughout history — think Buckminster Fuller, Nikola Tesla.
Recovery Task:- To distinguish between coercive groups, which threaten one's self-knowledge and identity, and benign, supportive groups, which can be valuable emotional supports.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may fear authority figures. This may lead to difficulties in keeping and holding jobs, completing education, and so forth.
Strength: The ability to question authority appropriately and by conscious choice can lead to strong personal beliefs — especially having survived lifelong coercive techniques.
Recovery Task:- To learn when challenging authority can lead to productive outcomes — and when it will not.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may seek the approval of others more than adults who did not grow up in a cult.
Strength: ACOCMs may use appropriate recognition for their efforts as a spur to ambition and achievement in their lives.
Recovery Task:- To learn to "check in" with oneself and recognize when seeking the approval of others conflicts with meeting one's own needs and desires.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may be unsure of their identity, core values, likes and dislikes having had dysfunctional cult beliefs forced on them from childhood.
Strength: Adult children may be more likely to consciously examine their core values — leading to a thoughtful approach to life.
Recovery Task:- To explore, as an adult, values and beliefs that will form a strong, functional core identity — a task usually completed during childhood and adolescence.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may be frightened by angry people, strong emotions, or those who express themselves forcefully.
Strengths: Adult children may be sensitive to imposing conflict on others — a strength in interpersonal relations.
Recovery Tasks:- To learn to assert one's needs and desires productively when appropriate.
- To learn to be comfortable when others assert themselves.
- To know when conflict crosses the line into aggression, which is healthy to avoid.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may be especially sensitive to even slight personal criticism due to harsh judgments thrust on them growing up in a totalist cult. Adult children may have a tendency toward crippling perfectionism.
Strength: A quest for excellence can spur one to achieving great things.
Recovery Task:- Develop a clear-eyed appraisal of one's abilities that allows one to excel — without hindering one with unachievable expectations or self-defeating behaviors.
- Challenge: Adult children may judge themselves harshly. They may suffer from low self-esteem.
Strength: Such individuals can learn to have a balanced appraisal of their strengths and weaknesses.
Recovery Tasks:- To learn not to "disqualify the positive," in Aaron T. Beck's phrase.
- To learn to value themselves.
- Challenge: Cult leaders do not recognize boundaries and tend to create environments in which everything exists to serve them. As a result, ACOCMs may be raised by parents who have trouble drawing appropriate boundaries. This may carry on to the next generation: ACOCMs may have trouble recognizing boundaries. Some ACOCM's were raised with loose or highly rigid sexual rules, which can interfere with adult intimacy and healthy boundaries.
Strength: Once channeled, the ability to be flexible with boundaries is an important skill for family and intimate relationships.
Recovery Task:- To successfully develop intimacy, without becoming enmeshed inappropriately with others.
- Challenge: Because we learn what we live growing up, ACOCMs may become emotionally attached to other cult members, alcoholics, or other compulsive personalities, such as workaholics, to fill needs created when their parents abandoned them.
Strength: Adult children may be especially successful at "healing relationships" — relationships in which both members bear significant wounds, but who work to heal each other through compassion and commitment.
Recovery Task:- To learn to value relationships free from compulsions.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may view themselves as a victims — and be attracted to similar weaknesses in their friendships and love relationships. They may feel a need to "rescue" others. They may be attracted to helping and healing professions.
Strengths: Society holds helpers and healers in special esteem.
Recovery Tasks:- To learn to meet one's own needs first, before inappropriately trying to rescue others.
- Also see item "k."
- Challenge: ACOCMs may tend to confuse love and pity.
Strength: This tendency can be the basis for developing a mature sense of empathy.
Recovery Tasks:- To avoid pity, which can trap one into a feeling of superiority.
- To develop relationships founded on mutual respect.
- Challenge: Totalist cults tend to indoctrinate their members with inappropriate, unachievable missions to save the world. ACOCMs may feel a restless need to "make a difference in society" — to "save the world."
Strength: Blessed are the peacemakers, the visionaries, the dreamers.
Recovery Tasks:- To channel these high aspirations into achievable goals — possibly working with established organizations.
- To reframe goals to apply within manageable limits, such as working with family, friends, and neighbors, or otherwise size one's aspirations to match one's abilities.
- Challenge: Adult children may have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. It may be easier for one to help others than it is to help oneself. This enables some ACOCMs to avoid looking closely at their own faults and needs.
Strength: Matured and modified, the impulse to caretake can form a solid basis for work in the helping and healing fields.
Recovery Task:- To acknowledge those things one is truly responsible for, that is events and actions that one can realistically change, while learning to let go of things that are the responsibilities of others.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may feel guilty when they stand up for themselves, instead of giving in to others.
Strength & Recovery Task:- See discussion on assertiveness in item "g."
- Challenge: Because they grew up surrounded by the chaos of constantly changing and capricious demands in a cult, ACOCMs may become addicted to excitement. They may be prone to addictive behaviors, such as spending sprees, gambling, drugs, promiscuity, alcohol, and other compulsions.
Strength: Many people who achieve greatness are driven by a desire to explore new places, ideas, people.
Recovery Task:- To channel the need for excitement into a creative, not destructive, force in one's life.
- Challenge: Some adult children have strong needs for order and control in their lives because these were lacking in their childhoods.
Strength: The ability to organize and prioritize can be important assets for success in life.
Recovery Task:- In the words of Reinhold Niebuhr's famous "Serenity Prayer," to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things that should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may not have developed social skills appropriate to living in mainstream culture, having only been exposed to nontraditional social mores within their cult.
Strength: Like all visitors to a foreign land, adult children may, in time, develop a unique understanding of and sensitivity to social customs that others merely take for granted.
Recovery Task:- To consciously develop manners, attitudes, habits of their newly adopted culture: mainstream society.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may have stuffed their feelings, particularly anger and abandonment, from their traumatic childhoods. Strong emotions that are ignored and unexpressed can lead to a host of psychological and physical ills in later life.
Strength: The ability to compartmentalize, when under conscious control, can be an important survival technique in career, education, and family life.
Recovery Task:- To learn to express feelings appropriately, productively, gracefully in or near the moment that they occur.
- Challenge: Adult children may have lost — or never developed — the ability to feel or express their feelings because it hurts so much. They may live in denial or have nearly delusional beliefs about their lives, their abilities, or their place in society.
Strength & Recovery Task:- See item "t."
- Challenge: ACOCMs may tend to be dependent on others and be unusually fearful of abandonment. They may suffer from a series of unstable love and friendship relationships. Their abandonment may spring from what it felt like to live in an unhealthy family with people who were never there for them emotionally.
Strength: Adult children may feel extraordinary compassion for the emotional needs of others because of the extremes they experienced.
Recovery Task:- To learn emotional management strategies that allow adult children to fulfill more of their own needs.
- Challenge: ACOCMs may tend to be reactors rather than actors in their own life. This may be due to the need to anticipate the chaotic emotions of parents and cult leaders to emotionally survive childhood.
Strength: Adult children may be strongly intuitive about the needs and feelings of others.
Recovery Tasks:- To learn to be Self-centered rather than other-centered.
- To learn to recognize and express one's own needs, feelings, and values while also truly valuing others'.
- Challenge: Just as children of alcoholics experience alcoholism as a family disease, ACOCMs may continue to express the characteristics of cult members — even long after they have left their family's cult.
Strength & Recovery Task:- Adult children may be in a unique position to consciously decide which cult-based values and beliefs they want to honor — and which they wish to discard.
Loosely adapted from Characteristics of the Problems of ALANONs and ACOAs, with gratefully acknowledged additions and corrections from Gina Catena, MS and my clients.
John M. Knapp, LMSW
KnappFamilyCounseling.com
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Detailed "Program" for Stopping Meditating
I recently received a request -- inspired by my previous post, "TM and Trance Addiction, for advice on how to cut back or stop meditating. Polished up and shortened, this was my reply:
I'll share my experience with you. After stopping TM in 1996, I didn't practice any form of meditation for roughly a year. I, like you, experienced a number of symptoms of trance addiction. I decided I wanted to know what life was like without TM -- and that I would decide later whether it added or detracted from my life when I had a TM-free period of my life to compare it to. After about a year, I began experimenting with doing TM as well as other forms of meditation. I found that every form of meditation I tried -- Buddhist, Hindu, Christian, and the Relaxation Response -- took me to essentially the same place. The only differences I noted were subtle differences in how long it took to get there. I won't share which meditation that I settled on. I don't want to influence you in any way as you try to figure out how you would like to fashion your life with or without meditation. Suffice it to say, I chose to do another form of meditation, not TM, and am very happy with my experiences.
Okay, enough speechifying.
There are four aspects to reducing meditation time: physiological, psychological, social/environmental, and spiritual.
As to the simplest: the physical addiction. Here is a method to try to cut back your meditation time. On long-rounding courses, the Maharishi had us gradually decrease the number of times we meditated in preparation for going back to 2x20.
I recommend that you cut back your program time by 5 minutes a day. This means in a few weeks you will be meditating 2x20. But you have to ease the discomfort caused by the addictive side effects as you cut back. Do this by adding 5 minutes of physical exercise every day to replace the meditation time you lose. This could be working out with weights (my favorite suggestion) or simply going for a stimulating walk. The idea is that you want to exercise to the point of at least starting to faintly sweat. This has several effects. It pumps you full of good chemicals -- like endorphins -- that tend to replace the feelings you have become addicted to during TM. Exercise tends also to lift the mood, which can help alleviate any traces of depression you might experience from ceasing meditation. Finally, it gives you something to do. It's a distraction, much like chewing gum helps people quitting smoking. (This routine is based on some observations that Pat Ryan of TM-Ex made years ago.)
After you have successfully reduced your meditation as much as you want, you can begin reducing your exercise time (unless you enjoy it and want to continue!). The whole process shouldn't take longer than a month.
Make sure you get plenty of sleep, but don't take naps during the day as you reduce your meditation. Naps have a nasty habit of turning into meditation sessions as your mind and body try to grab meditative moments because of the addiction.
Also try to schedule in plenty of relaxation time. I have some suggestions for relaxation routines on my counseling web site.
This brings us to the second aspect of reducing meditation: the mental. Like quitting any addictive behavior, you have to be committed to the process to have any hope of making it work. To help you build commitment and keep it, I suggest talking about your decision with a loved or trusted friend. Talking about a decision with someone else tends to make it more concrete for us, and we're more likely to follow through. You might also consider journaling about your experiences and writing affirmations, such as "I can have a happy and fulfilled life without TM" or whatever your own selection would be.
As to the social/environmental: You may have to decide what kind of environment you surround yourself with during this difficult time. In my counseling experience, people who surround themselves with friends who continue to meditate -- or at least support the TM Movement and the Maharishi -- have a difficult time cutting back or ceasing meditation. Just as an alcoholic has to choose to avoid bars and drinking parties -- even drinking friends, it is possible, although not certain, you may need to change your social environment to successfully cease TM.
Finally, let's talk about the spiritual need that TM may have filled for you. Spirituality means so many different things to different people. I try to use the broadest definition possible: the need to identify with something larger than the self. This can be God, but it certainly doesn't have to be. For some it is science, for others, nature, friends, family, volunteer work, meditation, prayer, so many different things. Most likely, even if you feel you didn't get too involved in the TM movement, TM played some spiritual role in your life. As you reduce your TM time, you'll have time to reflect on the role TM played for you. If you hope to continue with a reduced TM time -- and not slip back into addictive behavior -- you'll need to fill the hole that losing TM creates in your life. This is something you will have to fashion for yourself. But I can mention things that have worked for people that I've counseled in the past. What makes these suggestions works is again commitment. Consider scheduling these activities into your calendar and then making sure you follow through on them. Spend more time with family. Take trips and walks in nature. Consider reconnecting with the religion you were raised in -- or another religion. Consider attending AA meetings, a very spiritual experience for many addicted individuals whether or not they were addicted to alcohol. Immerse yourself in fine art, writing, or music. Consider volunteering time with your favorite charitable organization -- after all, you're going to have a lot more time in your life once you cut out an hour or two a day from your TM schedule. Offer comfort to a friend. Call friends you haven't contacted in a long time. There are probably dozens of things that might occur to you that will fill the emotional and spiritual needs that TM is currently fulfilling for you.
It's my hope, that you will get sufficient inspiration from this letter to make the changes you want to make. But don't be discouraged if that doesn't happen right away. I've worked with so many people who have gone through what you are going through. Many easily either ceased or reduced their meditation times on their own. Some others have sought help. It is possible that a little help from someone experienced in this process may give you the extra boost you need to make a change if it's too difficult at first.
Okay, this has turned into a really long letter. My thanks if you lasted all the way through and read this far.
I just want to leave you with one final thought. I admire your courage in having the strength to ask for help both in contacting me and in working with your therapist. My guess is that it was a hard decision to make. In my experience, the people who have the wisdom to seek out help are the ones who recover from whatever difficulty they are having recover most quickly and gracefully.
John M. Knapp, LMSW
KnappFamilyCounseling.com
Friday, April 13, 2007
Response to "Request for Help"
Response to Request for Help
Gina Catena, M.S.
Dear Ms. "X":
You lived as a second-hand cult member. Ouch! You survived a confusing and painful period with a loved one.
Please take whatever you find useful from below and discard the rest. You are not alone in the confusing period you lived. Nor are your children. There are many who struggle with similar situations.
You are affected by a psychological phenomenon that is not yet labeled by the American Psychological Association (APA). Some forward thinking therapists are studying this.
I expect there will eventually be a diagnosis category in Psychiatry's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Meanwhile, I choose to call this Cult Affected Personality Disorder (CAPD).
Dr. Philip Zimbardo and other leading psychologists and social psychologists have written extensively about cult thought reform. Very few have written about cult members' effects on loved ones.
Unlike other personality disorders, it is possible to recover from what I half-joking call CAPD. And like any other personality disorder, there is a broad spectrum of manifestations.
You are not crazy, even though you may have felt as if you were. You were given confusing mixed messages, and judgements that had nothing to do with objective reality.
With three generations of my family influenced by devout TMers, I likewise have ongoing influence from gradations of what you describe. There is always more to learn, and I am continually humbled by both our brains’ resilience and vulnerability.
TM practitioners have a broad expression spectrum. There are “lifers” on monastic programs who cannot function in the working world, to those barely affected who meditated for a few years but never disclosed their mantra.
You believe your ex-husband's noble intentions and well-rehearsed philosophy. The nobility contrasts greatly with his behavior. His intentions are good! This contrast creates dissonance in you, the outsider.
Some experts claim that cult members behave as those who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You can find help for living with a Borderline Personality Disorder person in your life through BPD Central.
IMHO, your ex was addicted to the "bliss of meditation" - his meditation endorphin induced high - refocus.org offers helpful tips for recovering from trance-addiction.
His anger after meditation was likely in response to mental shock when jumping out of his trance state into full-on real functioning.
You asked how he could be so angry after meditating six hours daily for six years? That statement originates from TM's promises that prolonged meditations would magically dissolve inner anger. Not so.
In actuality meditating for six hours daily does not cure anger or frustration, if anything it will be the CAUSE of frustration when he tries to function in the real world (as a "householder" in TM terminology). Everyday life is a continual bombardment that interferes with the "feel the bliss."
Your husband believed that he wanted to "witness" life, to experience total bliss internally and observe the world around him. The Beatles described that state "and the eyes in his head see the world spinning round."
His failure to maintain that state when interacting with you, or anyone else, frustrated him! So, anger lashed out. His anger was his own frustration from being pulled out of trance.
He tries carefully to live "an evolutionary life in support of nature" such that the simplest variation from his narrow view could provoke anxiety, another cause of anger. You were the recipient because you happened to be there. Nothing more.
Of course, you didn't know that, and probably wondered what you did to provoke his anger. Merely asking him where the newspaper is could provoke agitation when he is in that state.
In my experience, any attempt at truly rational conversation with a devoted cult member will result in angry arguments. (read conversations in our "comments" and on TM online groups for ongoing examples).
Again, I acknowledge everyone's experience is unique. However, many have shared similar experiences with me.
There are many many such cases documented by the International Cultic Studies Association.
As to your theory of his frozen emotional development - I would say a resounding "Yes".. for political correctness, I should say "Probably".
Once again, ICSA studies found that cult members are regressed (or in your ex-husband's case frozen) at approximately the age of a fifteen. A devoted cult member will trust first and foremost in the cult leader(s), who are not held accountable to anyone. After all, to whom would a voice of God or spiritual Master be accountable?
A cult member who puts wholehearted trust in the cult leader(s), or methodology (Maharishi, SCI, and the lifestyle) as the answer to life problems is unable to navigate the difficult terrain of moral decisions, gradations of right and wrong and personal prioritization.
Trusting in this divine leadership, the cult member/devotee/thought reformed individual lives according to the group's higher purpose.
In TM this higher purpose manifests as a narcissistic drive to enlightenment and global world peace through large group meditations. The devout TMer believes in the nobility of these goals. S/he does not see the apparently narcissistic drive to maintain their trance-induced high.
Most who join cults are of above average intelligence, somewhat idealistic and were caught at a vulnerable time of life (IQ is not a protective factor for thought reform susceptibility). Many, as we know, continue to function well in the business world or other facets of their life. Many, however, fail abysmally. Just like any addiction manifestation spectrum.
The promised allure, like Pizarro's mythic fountain of youth, "TM is a scientific method for deep rest, increased intelligence, improved test scores, happiness, infinite support of the laws of nature, enlightenment, world peace, perfect health, flying, and invincibility” may entice someone at a vulnerable time of life. (Has MMY promised followers they can walk on water or rise from the dead yet?)
The lure of support from this noble group is slow but sure for those vulnerable to the trance state, or looking a higher meaning or perfect support group.
Arthur Deikman in "Them and Us" describes the lure to remain in
childlike innocence, trusting someone else to lead the way. He compares cult mentality to that of a child sleeping peacefully in the back seat of a car, trusting in the parent to drive safely.
True adulthood is not lived in the back seat of one's own life. True adulthood involves taking the driver's seat - usually without a roadmap. For someone who has been in a cult for decades, that IS frightening!
When leaving TM, the organization or the technique, a "walk away" has not necessarily left the mentality or neuro-programming that occurred during the years (decades?) of TM involvement. The depth of involvement will determine the extent of needed recovery. Many seek other so-called spiritual teachers to provide direction. Many become cult-hoppers after learning of TM’s false promises, only to commit themselves to another leader.
Undoing the brainwash takes concerted effort. Other studies show between 18 months to three years to undo the effects for someone who obtains appropriate exit counseling or self education about thought reform.
For someone who does not invest in cult-recovery, the patterns may continue as a permanent part of their personality. (See
Rick Ross' website for his booklist- unfortunately, Rick is upgrading his website and it may not be currently accessible.)
If your TMer left the Movement and technique, but has not learned what happened to him and how his mind and behavior were controlled for decades, he will continue to function as if still from the TM trance-induced mentality, regardless of what other form of meditation he practices.
Physical neural dendrites (brain cell branches) were formed permanently in his brain. The physical pathways will remain always. Those physical structures will continue to govern his brain functioning until alternative pathways are grown in his brain. I kid you not!
Like learning to ride a bicycle, or perform complicated ice skating stunts, growing new dendritic pathways, takes determination and repetition. Eventually the new patterns will run automatically. There will be an occasional reversion to old patterns when confronted with an unexpected trigger. A person can learn to identify when they are triggered, and compensate accordingly.
With appropriate exit counseling, or motivated retraining, he may become more well-adjusted. However you cannot impose that upon him. It is his choice to become well or not. It is hard work. TM training biased him against therapy or any psychological literature. Many leave TM and continue to function as emotional/psychological cripples for years.
There is some evidence to support "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” as a helpful specialized therapy for former cultists attempting to retrain their brain.
Continuing with the cult-(non)functional member in your life is difficult. In my humble opinion, you took the only option that you could - you saved yourself and your sanity.
Your children will learn to function between you two. They deserve to love both their parents. They will have their own struggles with the situation.
Again, there are very few studies on children raised in cults, or by cult-affected parents. You may search the ICSA website for the few studies on the effects to children of dissociated parents.
I wish you well in your challenging path. Thank you, "X", for having the courage to voice what others experienced living with devout TMers, or with those who recently left TM after depths of involvement.
g
Gina Catena, M.S.
Dear Ms. "X":
You lived as a second-hand cult member. Ouch! You survived a confusing and painful period with a loved one.
Please take whatever you find useful from below and discard the rest. You are not alone in the confusing period you lived. Nor are your children. There are many who struggle with similar situations.
You are affected by a psychological phenomenon that is not yet labeled by the American Psychological Association (APA). Some forward thinking therapists are studying this.
I expect there will eventually be a diagnosis category in Psychiatry's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Meanwhile, I choose to call this Cult Affected Personality Disorder (CAPD).
Dr. Philip Zimbardo and other leading psychologists and social psychologists have written extensively about cult thought reform. Very few have written about cult members' effects on loved ones.
Unlike other personality disorders, it is possible to recover from what I half-joking call CAPD. And like any other personality disorder, there is a broad spectrum of manifestations.
You are not crazy, even though you may have felt as if you were. You were given confusing mixed messages, and judgements that had nothing to do with objective reality.
With three generations of my family influenced by devout TMers, I likewise have ongoing influence from gradations of what you describe. There is always more to learn, and I am continually humbled by both our brains’ resilience and vulnerability.
TM practitioners have a broad expression spectrum. There are “lifers” on monastic programs who cannot function in the working world, to those barely affected who meditated for a few years but never disclosed their mantra.
You believe your ex-husband's noble intentions and well-rehearsed philosophy. The nobility contrasts greatly with his behavior. His intentions are good! This contrast creates dissonance in you, the outsider.
Some experts claim that cult members behave as those who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You can find help for living with a Borderline Personality Disorder person in your life through BPD Central.
IMHO, your ex was addicted to the "bliss of meditation" - his meditation endorphin induced high - refocus.org offers helpful tips for recovering from trance-addiction.
His anger after meditation was likely in response to mental shock when jumping out of his trance state into full-on real functioning.
You asked how he could be so angry after meditating six hours daily for six years? That statement originates from TM's promises that prolonged meditations would magically dissolve inner anger. Not so.
In actuality meditating for six hours daily does not cure anger or frustration, if anything it will be the CAUSE of frustration when he tries to function in the real world (as a "householder" in TM terminology). Everyday life is a continual bombardment that interferes with the "feel the bliss."
Your husband believed that he wanted to "witness" life, to experience total bliss internally and observe the world around him. The Beatles described that state "and the eyes in his head see the world spinning round."
His failure to maintain that state when interacting with you, or anyone else, frustrated him! So, anger lashed out. His anger was his own frustration from being pulled out of trance.
He tries carefully to live "an evolutionary life in support of nature" such that the simplest variation from his narrow view could provoke anxiety, another cause of anger. You were the recipient because you happened to be there. Nothing more.
Of course, you didn't know that, and probably wondered what you did to provoke his anger. Merely asking him where the newspaper is could provoke agitation when he is in that state.
In my experience, any attempt at truly rational conversation with a devoted cult member will result in angry arguments. (read conversations in our "comments" and on TM online groups for ongoing examples).
Again, I acknowledge everyone's experience is unique. However, many have shared similar experiences with me.
There are many many such cases documented by the International Cultic Studies Association.
As to your theory of his frozen emotional development - I would say a resounding "Yes".. for political correctness, I should say "Probably".
Once again, ICSA studies found that cult members are regressed (or in your ex-husband's case frozen) at approximately the age of a fifteen. A devoted cult member will trust first and foremost in the cult leader(s), who are not held accountable to anyone. After all, to whom would a voice of God or spiritual Master be accountable?
A cult member who puts wholehearted trust in the cult leader(s), or methodology (Maharishi, SCI, and the lifestyle) as the answer to life problems is unable to navigate the difficult terrain of moral decisions, gradations of right and wrong and personal prioritization.
Trusting in this divine leadership, the cult member/devotee/thought reformed individual lives according to the group's higher purpose.
In TM this higher purpose manifests as a narcissistic drive to enlightenment and global world peace through large group meditations. The devout TMer believes in the nobility of these goals. S/he does not see the apparently narcissistic drive to maintain their trance-induced high.
Most who join cults are of above average intelligence, somewhat idealistic and were caught at a vulnerable time of life (IQ is not a protective factor for thought reform susceptibility). Many, as we know, continue to function well in the business world or other facets of their life. Many, however, fail abysmally. Just like any addiction manifestation spectrum.
The promised allure, like Pizarro's mythic fountain of youth, "TM is a scientific method for deep rest, increased intelligence, improved test scores, happiness, infinite support of the laws of nature, enlightenment, world peace, perfect health, flying, and invincibility” may entice someone at a vulnerable time of life. (Has MMY promised followers they can walk on water or rise from the dead yet?)
The lure of support from this noble group is slow but sure for those vulnerable to the trance state, or looking a higher meaning or perfect support group.
Arthur Deikman in "Them and Us" describes the lure to remain in
childlike innocence, trusting someone else to lead the way. He compares cult mentality to that of a child sleeping peacefully in the back seat of a car, trusting in the parent to drive safely.
True adulthood is not lived in the back seat of one's own life. True adulthood involves taking the driver's seat - usually without a roadmap. For someone who has been in a cult for decades, that IS frightening!
When leaving TM, the organization or the technique, a "walk away" has not necessarily left the mentality or neuro-programming that occurred during the years (decades?) of TM involvement. The depth of involvement will determine the extent of needed recovery. Many seek other so-called spiritual teachers to provide direction. Many become cult-hoppers after learning of TM’s false promises, only to commit themselves to another leader.
Undoing the brainwash takes concerted effort. Other studies show between 18 months to three years to undo the effects for someone who obtains appropriate exit counseling or self education about thought reform.
For someone who does not invest in cult-recovery, the patterns may continue as a permanent part of their personality. (See
Rick Ross' website for his booklist- unfortunately, Rick is upgrading his website and it may not be currently accessible.)
If your TMer left the Movement and technique, but has not learned what happened to him and how his mind and behavior were controlled for decades, he will continue to function as if still from the TM trance-induced mentality, regardless of what other form of meditation he practices.
Physical neural dendrites (brain cell branches) were formed permanently in his brain. The physical pathways will remain always. Those physical structures will continue to govern his brain functioning until alternative pathways are grown in his brain. I kid you not!
Like learning to ride a bicycle, or perform complicated ice skating stunts, growing new dendritic pathways, takes determination and repetition. Eventually the new patterns will run automatically. There will be an occasional reversion to old patterns when confronted with an unexpected trigger. A person can learn to identify when they are triggered, and compensate accordingly.
With appropriate exit counseling, or motivated retraining, he may become more well-adjusted. However you cannot impose that upon him. It is his choice to become well or not. It is hard work. TM training biased him against therapy or any psychological literature. Many leave TM and continue to function as emotional/psychological cripples for years.
There is some evidence to support "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” as a helpful specialized therapy for former cultists attempting to retrain their brain.
Continuing with the cult-(non)functional member in your life is difficult. In my humble opinion, you took the only option that you could - you saved yourself and your sanity.
Your children will learn to function between you two. They deserve to love both their parents. They will have their own struggles with the situation.
Again, there are very few studies on children raised in cults, or by cult-affected parents. You may search the ICSA website for the few studies on the effects to children of dissociated parents.
I wish you well in your challenging path. Thank you, "X", for having the courage to voice what others experienced living with devout TMers, or with those who recently left TM after depths of involvement.
g
Monday, April 09, 2007
REMAINS OF IGNORANCE: Drugs, Sex, and Rock 'n Roll
Leaving Transcendental Meditation leaves a void. First, there may very well be a physical addiction to trance. But beyond this is a spiritual hole that many just can't fill.
One day you are working to realize that you are Divine. The next you must face that you are yet another victim of a spiritual con facing bankruptcy, divorce, or madness. The shock can be horrific.
Unfortunately, as with other addictions, former TMers sometimes turn to new addictions to satisfy their craving for the spiritual connection they believed TM provided. It makes its own warped sense.
But those leaving TM aren't the only ones dealing with addiction. Evidently for some TMers in good standing in the Domes and Centers, TM just isn't enough to fill the hole in their souls.
I've worked with current and former TMers who are secret alcoholics. Ecstasy addicts. Pot heads (like Sir Paul McCartney). Second-generation TMers on heroin and Speed (on the streets of Fairfield). One governor abused ephedra every chance he got. Another confided to me that he drank 8 or more 20 oz. Diet Cokes a day because a caffeine buzz reminded him of what it used to feel like "witnessing" when he was rounding.
And substances aren't the only addictions TMers struggle with. One governor I knew alleged that "Johnny" Gray -- of Mars and Venus fame -- had a real sex problem after he left TM. His first attempt at starting a movement was what he laughingly called the "SCI of Sex." Pretty wild for a former brahmacharya (TM celibate monk). Second generation Fairfield TMers allegedly take part in group sex and other addictive behaviors. And how else explain the fad of young women taking up with much older TM men -- usually well-connected in the Movement -- in Fairfield and elsewhere?
Food, too, can be a problem. Most TMers are slender, no question. But it appears to an outside observer that some suffer from an eating disorder -- usually binge eating. I haven't seen Bevan Morris in a Bramha's age. Is he still tipping the scale at 300 lbs?
I've only written glancingly of these problems rampant in the TM Movement and for those who have left. But in the interest of full disclosure, I struggled with the bottle for about 2 years around 2000. And my own weight is sadly not under control. I'm on a continuous cycle of bingeing and dieting -- something that started 30 years ago during my full-time-for-the-Movement commitment at Livingston Manor. (Most eating disorders blossom in pre-adolescents or adolescents, by the way, not in adults. Update: As Judy Stein rightly points out, binge eating is not typically a disease of childhood. According to the DSM-IV TR, typical onset is in the late teens or early 20s.)
If TM is the most powerful spiritual knowledge in history, why are there so many spiritual voids being filled in such self-destructive ways?
Does any part of this resonate for you? Do you find yourself struggling with one or more addictions?
Do you have this or similar "Remains of Ignorance"?
Please consider posting your thoughts in the comments below. Just click on "Comments" and type away. Please feel free to remain anonymous. You may help another former TMer with your insights!
J.
One day you are working to realize that you are Divine. The next you must face that you are yet another victim of a spiritual con facing bankruptcy, divorce, or madness. The shock can be horrific.
Unfortunately, as with other addictions, former TMers sometimes turn to new addictions to satisfy their craving for the spiritual connection they believed TM provided. It makes its own warped sense.
But those leaving TM aren't the only ones dealing with addiction. Evidently for some TMers in good standing in the Domes and Centers, TM just isn't enough to fill the hole in their souls.
I've worked with current and former TMers who are secret alcoholics. Ecstasy addicts. Pot heads (like Sir Paul McCartney). Second-generation TMers on heroin and Speed (on the streets of Fairfield). One governor abused ephedra every chance he got. Another confided to me that he drank 8 or more 20 oz. Diet Cokes a day because a caffeine buzz reminded him of what it used to feel like "witnessing" when he was rounding.
And substances aren't the only addictions TMers struggle with. One governor I knew alleged that "Johnny" Gray -- of Mars and Venus fame -- had a real sex problem after he left TM. His first attempt at starting a movement was what he laughingly called the "SCI of Sex." Pretty wild for a former brahmacharya (TM celibate monk). Second generation Fairfield TMers allegedly take part in group sex and other addictive behaviors. And how else explain the fad of young women taking up with much older TM men -- usually well-connected in the Movement -- in Fairfield and elsewhere?
Food, too, can be a problem. Most TMers are slender, no question. But it appears to an outside observer that some suffer from an eating disorder -- usually binge eating. I haven't seen Bevan Morris in a Bramha's age. Is he still tipping the scale at 300 lbs?
I've only written glancingly of these problems rampant in the TM Movement and for those who have left. But in the interest of full disclosure, I struggled with the bottle for about 2 years around 2000. And my own weight is sadly not under control. I'm on a continuous cycle of bingeing and dieting -- something that started 30 years ago during my full-time-for-the-Movement commitment at Livingston Manor. (Most eating disorders blossom in pre-adolescents or adolescents, by the way, not in adults. Update: As Judy Stein rightly points out, binge eating is not typically a disease of childhood. According to the DSM-IV TR, typical onset is in the late teens or early 20s.)
If TM is the most powerful spiritual knowledge in history, why are there so many spiritual voids being filled in such self-destructive ways?
Does any part of this resonate for you? Do you find yourself struggling with one or more addictions?
Do you have this or similar "Remains of Ignorance"?
Please consider posting your thoughts in the comments below. Just click on "Comments" and type away. Please feel free to remain anonymous. You may help another former TMer with your insights!
J.
REMAINS OF IGNORANCE is an occasional feature of quick hits on life after Transcendental Meditation. It's a reversal of the Maharishi's translation of lesh-avidya. He claimed this was a Vedantic concept: Even after enlightenment there remains some slight residue of ignorance without which one would "drop the body" or die.
I've found that even after I left the TM Org behind, there remain in my mind "alien artifacts," bits and pieces of TM-based myths that still affect me today. I represent my own experience only here. But I've learned from my years counseling TMers that a significant number of others have had similar experiences.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
TM and Trance Addiction: Kicking the TM Habit
Repost of accidentally deleted post
I've been in touch with thousands of current and former TMers over the last 12 years. One question that comes up again and again is whether I recommend that they quit Transcendental Meditation or not.
My response is always that's a very personal decision, one the individual can only make for him or herself. Many elements enter into the decision, including personal belief, comfort level, and emotional resilience.
Based on the experience of many that I've worked with, I believe there are some things you need to consider if you are thinking of stopping meditation.
There are some very positive reasons for ceasing the practice. I don't have hard figures, but many of the people I know who decided to leave the Org, but chose to continue TM, eventually ended up going back to the Movement.
As Joe Kellet's web site develops, trance is a sly seductress. Meditation is one of nature's miracles; it feels wonderful for most who practice it. But there's no doubt that trance states are states of increased suggestibility, states in which critical thought cannot be sustained. It seems likely that simply continuing the experience of trance makes one susceptible to maintaining TM beliefs and worldviews despite the decision to leave the Org.
Pioneering cultic studies researchers, Louis Jolyon West and Paul Martin, wrote about the development of a "cult personality" within members of high-demand groups in “Pseudo-Identity and the Treatment of Personality Change in Victims of Captivity and Cults.” They spoke of a variation of dissociative identity disorder, known commonly as “multiple personality disorder,” which they hypothesized developed in cult victims.
This concept resonated with my experience. I actually left the TM Org three times before I made my final break in 1995. The first few times I attempted to leave, I experienced within me a “cult John” who maintained the old attitudes, phobias, and beliefs from my TM days. When I returned to the TM Org each time, I had the feeling that I was abandoning my secular self – although I called my time outside of TM a period of “unstressing.” Others I’ve known have expressed similar feelings.
My hypothesis is that continuing to meditate after “leaving” TM keeps the cult personality lively, ready to pounce and reassert control of your life.
A third consideration: I have no research to contribute, but based on the anecdotes of many former meditators, I wonder if trance abuse induces physical addiction, not just emotional dependence.
Ever miss a meditation during your TM days? Many people report a feeling of anxiety that increases the longer they wait after their accustomed meditation time. And many people who don’t meditate for days after regular practice for years report some or all of these symptoms: mild confusion, fatigue, concentration problems, spaciness, irritability, an overwhelming need for sleep -- or difficulty falling asleep. Some report physical symptoms such as a mild feverishness, flu-like feelings, muscular aches and pains, a hyper-aroused state in which physical touch is irritating, and other vague physical sensations.
Readers who have experienced long-rounding courses may have had similar experiences as they “came down” in rounds.
If any former drug addicts or alcoholics have read this far, they may recognize these symptoms. They’re the signs of addictive withdrawal.
Now, TMers are indoctrinated with a different explanation. Meditators who have decided to quit meditation and begin to experience these symptoms frequently jump to the conclusion that they are now “unstressing.” They may see these mild problems as proof that meditation “works” and they are now suffering because they are re-entering a state of ignorance. Very likely, they will re-begin the practice with renewed conviction.
Not all meditators experience these problems. And the good news is that those who do usually only experience them for a week or two.
My guess is that TMers become mildly addicted to increased endorphin levels – or some other naturally occurring hormonal change. Fortunately, it’s an addiction that is relatively easy to overcome. The passage of time works wonders. (Kathleen Taylor writes in Brainwashing: The Science of Thought Control, Oxford University Press, 2004 that trance stimulates serotonin, dopamine, and endorphin levels, creating receptive state to suggestions. H/t to Gina Catena.)
Many people have valid reasons for wanting to continue meditation whether they want to maintain good standing in the TM Org or not. They consider meditation a valid expression and experience of their spirituality. They may simply want to continue enjoying the documented health benefits of regular meditation. (I won’t argue here the extent or even reality of these benefits. Suffice it to say there is sound research that indicates the measurable health benefits are much less than the TM Org would have one believe.)
For these people, I have a few suggestions. Not based on research, but rather on the anecdotal success stories I’ve had the good fortune to have heard in counseling people who leave TM.
First, I recommend that you do consider ceasing to meditate if you decide to leave the TM Org. I believe the danger of being sucked back into a hurtful organization is too great to risk continuing meditation. I don’t suggest that you never meditate again. (This would be decidedly hypocritical of me. I meditate and do yoga regularly, although I haven’t done TM for many years.) But I recommend that you set a significant time goal for yourself during which you will break your TM habit. I recommend 6 months, although shorter or longer periods may prove optimum once this is researched. After you’ve experienced life without TM – and what may be an addiction, you are in a better position to make a rational decision about whether you will re-begin TM or another meditation technique.
Second, keep yourself open to the possibility that the mild symptoms of discomfort that you may experience do not prove that TM works. Consider, in fact, that they are proof that TM may create an unhealthy physical dependence. Just this simple change in viewpoint may serve to get you through your withdrawal period.
Thirdly, find other activities that meet the physical and emotional needs that TM met. As an example, vigorous physical activity also raises endorphin levels. Exit counselor Pat Ryan and others have reported that the increased endorphin levels from aerobics or weight training can ease the feelings of physical withdrawal.
Finally, the spiritual hole that leaving the TM Org and ceasing meditation causes must be filled again. But that’s the subject for another posting.
I've been in touch with thousands of current and former TMers over the last 12 years. One question that comes up again and again is whether I recommend that they quit Transcendental Meditation or not.
My response is always that's a very personal decision, one the individual can only make for him or herself. Many elements enter into the decision, including personal belief, comfort level, and emotional resilience.
Based on the experience of many that I've worked with, I believe there are some things you need to consider if you are thinking of stopping meditation.
There are some very positive reasons for ceasing the practice. I don't have hard figures, but many of the people I know who decided to leave the Org, but chose to continue TM, eventually ended up going back to the Movement.
As Joe Kellet's web site develops, trance is a sly seductress. Meditation is one of nature's miracles; it feels wonderful for most who practice it. But there's no doubt that trance states are states of increased suggestibility, states in which critical thought cannot be sustained. It seems likely that simply continuing the experience of trance makes one susceptible to maintaining TM beliefs and worldviews despite the decision to leave the Org.
Pioneering cultic studies researchers, Louis Jolyon West and Paul Martin, wrote about the development of a "cult personality" within members of high-demand groups in “Pseudo-Identity and the Treatment of Personality Change in Victims of Captivity and Cults.” They spoke of a variation of dissociative identity disorder, known commonly as “multiple personality disorder,” which they hypothesized developed in cult victims.
This concept resonated with my experience. I actually left the TM Org three times before I made my final break in 1995. The first few times I attempted to leave, I experienced within me a “cult John” who maintained the old attitudes, phobias, and beliefs from my TM days. When I returned to the TM Org each time, I had the feeling that I was abandoning my secular self – although I called my time outside of TM a period of “unstressing.” Others I’ve known have expressed similar feelings.
My hypothesis is that continuing to meditate after “leaving” TM keeps the cult personality lively, ready to pounce and reassert control of your life.
A third consideration: I have no research to contribute, but based on the anecdotes of many former meditators, I wonder if trance abuse induces physical addiction, not just emotional dependence.
Ever miss a meditation during your TM days? Many people report a feeling of anxiety that increases the longer they wait after their accustomed meditation time. And many people who don’t meditate for days after regular practice for years report some or all of these symptoms: mild confusion, fatigue, concentration problems, spaciness, irritability, an overwhelming need for sleep -- or difficulty falling asleep. Some report physical symptoms such as a mild feverishness, flu-like feelings, muscular aches and pains, a hyper-aroused state in which physical touch is irritating, and other vague physical sensations.
Readers who have experienced long-rounding courses may have had similar experiences as they “came down” in rounds.
If any former drug addicts or alcoholics have read this far, they may recognize these symptoms. They’re the signs of addictive withdrawal.
Now, TMers are indoctrinated with a different explanation. Meditators who have decided to quit meditation and begin to experience these symptoms frequently jump to the conclusion that they are now “unstressing.” They may see these mild problems as proof that meditation “works” and they are now suffering because they are re-entering a state of ignorance. Very likely, they will re-begin the practice with renewed conviction.
Not all meditators experience these problems. And the good news is that those who do usually only experience them for a week or two.
My guess is that TMers become mildly addicted to increased endorphin levels – or some other naturally occurring hormonal change. Fortunately, it’s an addiction that is relatively easy to overcome. The passage of time works wonders. (Kathleen Taylor writes in Brainwashing: The Science of Thought Control, Oxford University Press, 2004 that trance stimulates serotonin, dopamine, and endorphin levels, creating receptive state to suggestions. H/t to Gina Catena.)
Many people have valid reasons for wanting to continue meditation whether they want to maintain good standing in the TM Org or not. They consider meditation a valid expression and experience of their spirituality. They may simply want to continue enjoying the documented health benefits of regular meditation. (I won’t argue here the extent or even reality of these benefits. Suffice it to say there is sound research that indicates the measurable health benefits are much less than the TM Org would have one believe.)
For these people, I have a few suggestions. Not based on research, but rather on the anecdotal success stories I’ve had the good fortune to have heard in counseling people who leave TM.
First, I recommend that you do consider ceasing to meditate if you decide to leave the TM Org. I believe the danger of being sucked back into a hurtful organization is too great to risk continuing meditation. I don’t suggest that you never meditate again. (This would be decidedly hypocritical of me. I meditate and do yoga regularly, although I haven’t done TM for many years.) But I recommend that you set a significant time goal for yourself during which you will break your TM habit. I recommend 6 months, although shorter or longer periods may prove optimum once this is researched. After you’ve experienced life without TM – and what may be an addiction, you are in a better position to make a rational decision about whether you will re-begin TM or another meditation technique.
Second, keep yourself open to the possibility that the mild symptoms of discomfort that you may experience do not prove that TM works. Consider, in fact, that they are proof that TM may create an unhealthy physical dependence. Just this simple change in viewpoint may serve to get you through your withdrawal period.
Thirdly, find other activities that meet the physical and emotional needs that TM met. As an example, vigorous physical activity also raises endorphin levels. Exit counselor Pat Ryan and others have reported that the increased endorphin levels from aerobics or weight training can ease the feelings of physical withdrawal.
Finally, the spiritual hole that leaving the TM Org and ceasing meditation causes must be filled again. But that’s the subject for another posting.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Addiction and Transcendental Meditation
by Gina Catena, M.S.
TM has addictive qualities.
Acknowleding the addictive characteristics of TM and other practices, Carol Giambalvo and other cult experts founded ReFOCUS.org to help former cult members break their addiction to trance states.
I'll find my references on autism and endorphins (natural opiates). Some neuroscientists found a connection between autism and high level of endorphins. Limited doses of narcan (an opiate antogonist drug) brought autistic children out of their trance-like introversion, into an interactive state.
I wonder if TM increases endorphin production, creating a semi-dissociative state ("feel the bliss").
Some devout TMers on the monastic Purusha or Mother Divine programs behave as if in an autistic state. These participants meditate for many hours daily, sometimes for years.
On the other hand, this would explain why TM helped some Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) children, according to the David Lynch Foundation. Limited amounts of stimulated endorphins (as in short TM practice) may calm hyperactive children.
Another recent study found that long term TMers had increased pain tolerance. That would imply, once again, there is an increased amount of natural opiates (morphine-like) from TM practice. I used TM to calm myself while awaiting an ambulance when I had multiple injuries in a tragic auto accident. It worked.
Being trained in TM as a young child, over 40 years ago, I know how to make-myself-high in an instant - anytime, anyplace! It feels great. I avoid that state, since it's as useful as the heroin addict sitting on a city street corner. Other TM-kids, now young adults, say the same.
Endorphin-induced trance would explain participants' receptivity to suggestion when attending long meditation courses.
Addiction to endorphins would explain addict-like dysfunctional dynamics seen with some TM families.
This could explain explain why some substance abusers relinquish use of exogenous chemicals after beginning TM. Perhaps they subsitute a self-produced opiate for their street drug?
This could also explain the frequent drug use/abuse by TM kids, as they replace their parental endorphin addiction with their own street drug abuse. Just trading one high for another.
Would anyone like to study us? It would be interesting to measure opiates when we meditate, then see what happens with a narcan injection. My supposition is we would respond exactly as those autistic kids did, instantly being brought out of our trance. (and what about the long term TM celibate program participants who immerse themeselves in that state 24 x 7) It would not surprise me if TM-kids' brains have neuro-pathways allowing us to dissociate more readily than the general population, since our internal dependence on that state was cultivated at a young age.
I would be willing to participte in such a study, in the interest of demonstrating TM's addictive qualities. A few others might be willing also.
Any takers?
Please forgive me for not providing references to the autism research, nor the TM-pain tolerance research. They can be googled.
This is written off the top of my head, not as a scientific abstract.
I will add appropriate references when I have time to find them.
TM has addictive qualities.
Acknowleding the addictive characteristics of TM and other practices, Carol Giambalvo and other cult experts founded ReFOCUS.org to help former cult members break their addiction to trance states.
I'll find my references on autism and endorphins (natural opiates). Some neuroscientists found a connection between autism and high level of endorphins. Limited doses of narcan (an opiate antogonist drug) brought autistic children out of their trance-like introversion, into an interactive state.
I wonder if TM increases endorphin production, creating a semi-dissociative state ("feel the bliss").
Some devout TMers on the monastic Purusha or Mother Divine programs behave as if in an autistic state. These participants meditate for many hours daily, sometimes for years.
On the other hand, this would explain why TM helped some Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) children, according to the David Lynch Foundation. Limited amounts of stimulated endorphins (as in short TM practice) may calm hyperactive children.
Another recent study found that long term TMers had increased pain tolerance. That would imply, once again, there is an increased amount of natural opiates (morphine-like) from TM practice. I used TM to calm myself while awaiting an ambulance when I had multiple injuries in a tragic auto accident. It worked.
Being trained in TM as a young child, over 40 years ago, I know how to make-myself-high in an instant - anytime, anyplace! It feels great. I avoid that state, since it's as useful as the heroin addict sitting on a city street corner. Other TM-kids, now young adults, say the same.
Endorphin-induced trance would explain participants' receptivity to suggestion when attending long meditation courses.
Addiction to endorphins would explain addict-like dysfunctional dynamics seen with some TM families.
This could explain explain why some substance abusers relinquish use of exogenous chemicals after beginning TM. Perhaps they subsitute a self-produced opiate for their street drug?
This could also explain the frequent drug use/abuse by TM kids, as they replace their parental endorphin addiction with their own street drug abuse. Just trading one high for another.
Would anyone like to study us? It would be interesting to measure opiates when we meditate, then see what happens with a narcan injection. My supposition is we would respond exactly as those autistic kids did, instantly being brought out of our trance. (and what about the long term TM celibate program participants who immerse themeselves in that state 24 x 7) It would not surprise me if TM-kids' brains have neuro-pathways allowing us to dissociate more readily than the general population, since our internal dependence on that state was cultivated at a young age.
I would be willing to participte in such a study, in the interest of demonstrating TM's addictive qualities. A few others might be willing also.
Any takers?
Please forgive me for not providing references to the autism research, nor the TM-pain tolerance research. They can be googled.
This is written off the top of my head, not as a scientific abstract.
I will add appropriate references when I have time to find them.
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