HOW I MADE
THE MANTRA GO AWAY
by Dave H.
When I tell
my friends that I once was involved with a cult, their eyes get wide and their
response is generally, “You?” And then they want the details.
So I tell
them that I was one of those people who got caught up in Transcendental
Meditation when it was sweeping the U.S.A. in the 60s and 70s. I explain the
initial meetings, the Puja ceremony, the post initiation checking meetings,
etc. I even tell them that for awhile, TM actually brought me some benefit.
I was never
one of those uber-movement types, although I did attend a residence course or
two in Fairfield, Iowa, where I was introduced to “rounding” and the whole TM
thing took further root. Had I not awakened, I could have easily been drinking
the Kool-aid.
Then MMY
announced that we could all learn to levitate and the Sidhis program was
launched. The shock of it forced me to examine what I had become involved with
and thankfully, the critical thinking I had learned in college began to kick
in. Levitating? Becoming invisible? How could I belong to an organization that
advanced such thinking and demanded high fees for the “knowledge?”
I
immediately stopped doing TM and promised myself I would never think my mantra,
“Shirim,” again.
But it
wouldn’t go away. For over a decade that pesky mantra would creep into my
thoughts: waking, sleeping, dreaming. At first I gave it no notice, just
shutting it off whenever it would appear. But after many, many years of putting
up with it, combined with all of the wacky stuff coming out of the TM
movement, its continued presence became a major concern for me. I wanted it
gone.
I consulted
with a therapist, a very capable person, but not experienced in cults. He
suggested that I pretty much do what I had been doing, shut it off when it
showed up in my thoughts. But that was not good enough for me.
I live in a
very beautiful part of Southeast Minnesota, an area with 300-foot bluffs and an
incredible paved bicycle trail system. One weekday summer morning I walked out
a couple of miles on the trail. Not many people out there that early in the
morning. I stopped on a bridge and decided to shout Shirim as loud and as many
times as I could. It was strange how guilty I felt for even thinking about
doing this. Guilt and fear manifested themselves, as if something really bad
would happen to me. That’s how deeply the movement hooks had gotten into my
psyche.
But I did
it. I shouted that mantra out into the light of day, loud, clear and often.
Then I came back a couple of days later and repeated the experience. And then a
third time.
It didn’t
happen overnight, but after a couple of weeks I noticed that the mantra and I
were no longer joined at the hip, and its encroachment into my life began to
diminish. And today, it doesn’t show up at all.
When I read
of all the junk that the true-believers in the TM movement accept as truth …
Jyotish, Yagyas, Sidhis and such … I am so blessed to have my once-abandoned
critical thinking skills and pleased that the mantra no longer has power over
me.
And all I
had to do was shout it into the atmosphere.
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